Keep the changes, you filfthy aminal

February 23rd, 2012 · 31 comments

Co-win-cidentally, these two notes were submitted within minutes of each other. (In my mind, both seem to demand being read with a kindergartner’s lisp.)

Stacey in Alexandria, Virginia spotted this almost-haiku in a high school hallway:

You get on my nervous Stop acting like little kids So lower your voice

Meanwhile, this (just slightly) f-ed up display comes from an office kitchen in New York City:

Clean/ filfthy

related: Colonel Mustard? Meet Major Peteve.

FILED UNDER: cleaning · clip art catastrophe · noise · spelling and grammar police

31 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Steve

    I don’t think those dishes are much worse than fourthy, actually.

    Feb 23, 2012 at 8:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Furtive lurker

      I initially read Steve’s comment as “frothy.” That’s what I get for listening to a Rick Santorum speech right before visiting this site…

      Feb 24, 2012 at 12:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Trish

    Is “Filf” the Daddy version of “MILF”? Puts a whole new spin on “filfthy”

    Feb 23, 2012 at 8:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   PABrit

      Filfthy? I’d do those dishes.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 8:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Poltergeist

      No Trish, you’re thinking of DILF. This is the internet, not some trailer park in hicksville, so learn the correct terminology!

      Feb 24, 2012 at 1:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   Georgina

      Umm… I think Trish was making a joke.
      Get the stick outta your butt.

      Feb 27, 2012 at 2:22 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   Poltergeist

      Umm…I think I was making a joke as well.
      I apologize if my bizarre sense of humor isn’t up to everybody’s standards. It’s a good thing I really don’t care :)

      Feb 27, 2012 at 9:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Really?

    You know what gets on my “nervous?”

    Feb 23, 2012 at 8:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Just Dropping By

    Up with put not will I … that

    Feb 23, 2012 at 9:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Sir Puke

    Wow these folks are really sick-up and fed.

    Feb 24, 2012 at 12:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Ace of Space

    I would just mix all those dishes up to confuse the heck out of everybody. Cause I’m filfthy.

    Feb 24, 2012 at 1:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   sparkle

      At least you’re not fourthy.

      Mar 3, 2012 at 7:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Atropine

    Wow, the first one can’t spell ‘nerves’ but can compose a whiney note in haiku! Fantastic!

    Feb 24, 2012 at 7:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   looney

      except it’s not haiku because “nervous” gives the first line too many syllables — double fail

      Feb 27, 2012 at 6:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   infanttyrone

      Gonna roll the dice, go out on a long limb, and guess that the bi-syllabic ‘nervous’ is what impelled the copy writer to call it an almost-haiku.
      As inept CPA’s say, Fail on Yr End.

      It WAS in a high school, so there is a chance it was written by someone who knew the 5-7-5 structure, could have chosen the more common, and properly mono-syllabic, ‘nerves’, but just wanted to show off a bit. Possible A+

      “It won’t do, then, for the literary establishment simply to complain that, for instance, young-written characters don’t have very interesting dialogues with each other, that young writers’ ears seem tinny. Tinny they may be, but the truth is that in younger Americans’ experience, people in the same room don’t do all that much direct conversing with each other. What most of the people I know do is they all sit and face the same direction and stare at the same thing and then structure commercial-length conversations around the sorts of questions myopic car-crash witnesses might ask each other. . . . So now whose literary aesthetic seems dated?”
      –David Foster Wallace, “E Unibus Pluram: Television and U.S. Fiction,” in Review of Contemporary Fiction 13.2 (Summer 1993): 168.

      Feb 27, 2012 at 9:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Dane Zeller

    Clean, filthy, and…vague. The borderline between the two is not clear. Unless…the dishes are “clean” and the table is “filthy.” Lack of clarity makes me nerves.

    Feb 24, 2012 at 7:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Furtive lurker

    Plagiarism! I’m sure “Filfthy” is what I named one of the dwarves in my Lord of the Rings fanfiction comic.

    Feb 24, 2012 at 12:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   infanttyrone

      You might have heard it a long, long time ago and inadvertently lifted it from the libretto of the underground anime mash-up that Bowie did for Tim Curry’s 1996 birthday party.

      You remember the Hollywood dream sequence don’t you ?
      Snow White and the Cracked Actor Break Curfew with Brad and Janet
      Where Frank N. Furter dons a Sinatra wig and voice, belting out

      I’m stiff on my legend,
      the films that I made
      Forget that I’m filfthy
      cause you just got paid

      Feb 24, 2012 at 2:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   GueroSawyer

    No one noticed that the editor’s own caption had a typo.
    Original: kindergarter’s
    Right way: kindergartner’s

    Feb 24, 2012 at 3:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Just Dropping By

      I think it’s kindergarten, isn’t it?

      So it should be a kindergartener, right?

      Man, just did some googling, and it looks like both ways are considered valid. I hate that – when so many people use a wrong spelling that it becomes “acceptable” because of usage.

      BTW, when I am king, bimonthly will be the *only* acceptable word for every two months, and semimonthly will be used for meethings held twice a month.

      Carry on :-)

      P.S. What I really want is kindergarden. When did the “d” turn into a “t”? Sigh.

      Feb 24, 2012 at 4:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Ruth

      When did the d turn into a t? Are you serious? It’s German. It’s always been a t.

      My country doesn’t even use this word, I don’t really speak German, and still I know this. And you supposedly just looked it up in a dictionary, so why don’t you?

      Feb 24, 2012 at 6:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   cary

      Not sure I want to be involved in any “meethings” thank you very much, no matter how often (or not) you hold them.

      Hmm – holding mee-things. Now, it’s getting twisted.

      Feb 24, 2012 at 10:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   bookworm

      I keep reading GueroSawyer’s first option as “kindergarter belt.”

      Feb 25, 2012 at 11:15 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.5   GueroSawyer


      Feb 25, 2012 at 11:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Just Dropping By

    My apologies, kind Ruth.

    I suppose my desire for kindergarden springs from the 7th grade, when I studied the fine language that you do not really speak. It was then that I realized that the English word I knew meant “garden” for “children”, and I was charmed by the thought.

    It’s been a few years since I’ve been in 7th grade, or been a kindergartener/kindergartner either for that matter. And apparently I remembered the concept of child garden more than the actual spelling of the word in the English language, sadly. So ironically, it was the fact that I spent time studying the language that you do not actually speak – and was charmed by it – that contributed to my error.

    Fun thought: if kindergarteners can go to kindergarten, why can’t kindergartners go to kindergartn?

    Feb 26, 2012 at 2:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Just Dropping By

      And now I’ve gigglebraxed on top of everything else :-( Again, my apologies.

      Feb 26, 2012 at 2:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Ruth

      I studied German from age 11 to 16. I don’t remember a great deal, but I didn’t really learn a great deal in the first place. I know how to ask for a dentist, the location of the town hall and how to tell you I like to drink orange juice for breakfast, so not entirely a waste of time, yet it would be a rather large stretch of the imagination to say that I actually speak German. But it only takes a second to look something up before you make a fool of yourself! Especially important if you’re emphasising your distaste for “unacceptable” spellings. :D (I’m more of a reformist myself, haha)

      Feb 26, 2012 at 6:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   Just Dropping By

      Since you are now scolding me for a second time about not looking things up, let me point out that I actually *did* look the words up, all of them. So I am not actually guilty of the crime of which you keep accusing me.

      What I *am* guilty of is falsely remembering that the word used to end in “garden”. Only problem with a false memory is that you don’t actually realize you’re wrong until a kind person comes along to gently or not so gently point out your error.

      And, oh yes, I made a typo in my original post … and think that “kindergartner” doesn’t make a lot of sense as a spelling without “kindergartn”. 1000 lashes with a wet noodle for me.

      Feb 27, 2012 at 3:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   Atheist Scum Unite!

      Ruth & JDB:

      You two just made me cream in my PAN shorts. Excellent exchange. Perhaps a bit more aggressive next time?

      Feb 27, 2012 at 4:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   sparkle

    The first note is proof the education system is failing. No high-schooler should mix up ‘es’ with ‘ous’ and ‘stop’ with ‘you’re’ IN THE SAME CAP-LOCKED GIANT NOTE!
    Unless, the education has already failed and a teacher wrote that note. Oh, the humanity!

    Mar 3, 2012 at 7:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   sparkle

    Goodness me, all the stirring up trouble posts are mine right now. PAN Y U NO LIKE ME?

    Mar 3, 2012 at 7:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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