Grow an orange tree and grow up.

← The Internet is leaking. Hello, 911? My neighbors are loud walkers! →

March 8th, 2012 · 38 comments

Oh goody, this argument again!

FILED UNDER: beverages · Coke · most popular notes of 2012 · note wars · vending machine drama

38 responses so far ↓

#1 SeeYouInTea

I absolutely love the 2nd note.

Mar 8, 2012 at 9:12 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
#2 Tea

Team: booze in the pop machine.

Mar 8, 2012 at 9:13 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #2.1 thrall
  
  I’ve seen vending machines in Japan that will produce bottles of whiskey for your pleasure. Of course along with other well-discussed items.
  
  BTW, what are the sundry, apparently blank post-it notes all about?
  
  Mar 8, 2012 at 9:26 pm rating: 90
- #2.2 Poltergeist
  
  The blank notes are simply there for convenience in case anybody else wants to voice their idiotic opinions. In the time it might take an individual to locate a sheet of paper, they may have forgotten what they wanted to write, which would be a insult to all things good and PA.
  
  Mar 8, 2012 at 11:49 pm rating: 90
- #2.3 The Elf
  
  Think of how much better work could be if you could buy a Coke *and* a mini of rum in the vending machine!
  
  Mar 9, 2012 at 6:39 am rating: 90
- #2.4 The White Clouds of Opium
  
  I should like a vending machine that dispenses joints and ammunition.
  
  We can make that happen.
  
  Mar 10, 2012 at 8:59 am rating: 90
add to this thread
#3 Ed.D.

Where is this from? I know that graffiti face.

Mar 8, 2012 at 9:16 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #3.1 Bobbert
  
  It’s ‘Obey Giant’ (fun fact it’s actually Andre the Giant’s face)
  
  Mar 8, 2012 at 11:59 pm rating: 90
- #3.2 Jami
  
  Andre? I always thought it was Al Capone.
  
  Mar 10, 2012 at 12:45 am rating: 90
- #3.3 Melissa
  
  Oh yeah, that’s right! It looked like OJ to me!
  
  Mar 10, 2012 at 2:12 am rating: 90
add to this thread
#4 Blasphemer

I’m just happy to see the Shepard Fairey sticker making an appearance.

Mar 8, 2012 at 9:24 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
#5 Sir Puke

Keep fruit juice out of Coke machine as it cuts into the selection nasty soft drinks.
Keep orange juice out of the orange crush as well.

Mar 8, 2012 at 9:24 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #5.1 Grant
  
  I think that’s a Fanta, see?
  
  Mar 9, 2012 at 8:20 am rating: 90
add to this thread
#6 Who passed out the Haterade?

Run, OJ, run!

Mar 8, 2012 at 11:25 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
#7 Bryan

Who has sticky notes on dek ready to comment back or are you to tell me they see this then write a note after getting the post it sticky note

Mar 9, 2012 at 12:12 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #7.1 coolidge
  
  what
  
  Mar 9, 2012 at 6:07 pm rating: 90
- #7.2 kate
  
  I’ll translate:
  
  Who carries post it notes with them at all times to write a reply? I guess they could see the note there, then go and get a post it note on which to write their reply.
  
  Mar 10, 2012 at 2:57 pm rating: 90
add to this thread
#8 Bryan

After going and getting the post it sticky note* grammar nazis enjoy I’m on an iPad n don’t care

Mar 9, 2012 at 12:13 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #8.1 FeRD
  
  That might be an excuse for a few typos. It’s not an excuse for speaking in tongues, like your previous comment!
  
  What’s the point of repeatedly ramming your sausage-fingers into the touchscreen so you can stab out a message, at all, if the result is going to be indecipherable to anyone reading it?? Seems easier to just not bother.
  
  Mar 9, 2012 at 2:13 am rating: 90
- #8.2 The Elf
  
  English, motherfucker, do you speak it?
  
  Mar 9, 2012 at 6:44 am rating: 90
- #8.3 Nahhh
  
  Oooooh. He has an IPAD! Ooooooooooh!
  
  [Yeah, and I had to edit this but I care.]
  
  Mar 9, 2012 at 4:00 pm rating: 90
- #8.4 The White Clouds of Opium
  
  When your fingers are saturated with french fry grease, even a semi-coherent screed is quite impressive. This is an individual of great skill.
  
  Mar 10, 2012 at 9:05 am rating: 90
- #8.5 bookworm
  
  Am I the only person in the world who doesn’t get lazy when they log onto their iPad? What is it about those devices that causes everyone else’s fingers (and brains) to break?
  
  Mar 10, 2012 at 11:23 am rating: 90
- #8.6 Just to say
  
  i love you Ferd!
  
  Mar 11, 2012 at 3:49 pm rating: 90
- #8.7 FeRD
  
  ***blush***
  
  Oh, P.S to Bryan: You don’t have to fill in “n/a” for the Website field, when posting here. You can just leave it blank. That way, the system won’t turn your name into an invalid hyperlink.
  
  Mar 12, 2012 at 6:13 pm rating: 90
add to this thread
#9   FeRD

See, I think this whole post-it cascade could have been prevented, since it seems to have resulted from an initial misinterpretation.

The way I read it, the initial note is actually two separate complaints, presented together. The notewriter is complaining that:

   1. There’s too much nasty
   2. Coke contains insufficient amounts of Orange Juice for their liking

Now, #1 is obviously a reference to the scandalous amounts of office sex that the notewriter’s been privy to lately — and excluded from, one assumes, or there’d be little call for complaint. Sounds like some co-workers need to be a bit more discreet… at least wear an overcoat to cover their harnesses and rubber gear, when they wear sexcessories to the workplace in anticipation of some break-room sexytime rumpus.

Complaint #2, well, that’s really indisputable. Coke contains, to my knowledge, exactly 0% orange juice, so that would at best satisfy most people’s expectations… and, surely, there must be some people who would prefer a higher OJ content. And, of course, this being a Coke machine, the notewriter has precious little hope of being provided with Mountain Dew as an alternative. Too bad, so sad!

If only the note had been properly interpreted from the beginning, all of this post-it warring could have been avoided!

Mar 9, 2012 at 2:37 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #9.1 infanttyrone
  
  Yikes…best of luck with that interpretation…
  
  Care to take a stab at Sister Ray by the Velvet Underground ?
  
  Mar 9, 2012 at 3:11 am rating: 90
- #9.2 FeRD
  
  You know what REALLY blew my mind? I realized, after I posted my analysis of the first note’s duality, that all of the notes could be interpreted this way!
  
  So, if you assume that every one of the notewriters here is a horribly conflicted, borderline-schizoid fruitcake (which doesn’t really feel like that much of a leap), then you find two simultaneous conversations intertwined in the post-its:
  
  (1)
  Too much NASTY
  O.J. has been set free!
  What? This is a Coke machine <self-important thick exclamation point>
  While we’re all voicing our idiotic opinions, may I suggest that the machine carry booze?
  4LOCO
  
  (2)
  Coca-Cola not enough O.J.!
  Take a stab at it <inane right-side-up smiley>[*]
  Grow an orange tree, an grow up.
  Think on it.
  MOFO <pretentious oversized outline exclamation point>
  
  [*] — Or… maybe a really terrible sketch of a bunny rabbit.
  
  Mar 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm rating: 90
add to this thread
#10 Suz

After reading the 4th note, I have to agree with the original note …. I mean, what good would vodka be without some orange juice? or tomato juice? Gotta keep the Coke, though …. you know, for the rum

Mar 9, 2012 at 10:29 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
#11 Lily

I love the considerateness of leaving blank post-it notes for others to join in on this “conversation.”

Mar 9, 2012 at 11:50 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
#12 Adriana

Orange soda is clearly the best compromise and only solution here.

Mar 9, 2012 at 12:10 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #12.1 Nahhh
  
  Or premixed screwdrivers. Yummmm.
  
  Mar 9, 2012 at 4:03 pm rating: 90
add to this thread
#13 Melissa

What could be nastier than CANNED orange juice?

Mar 10, 2012 at 2:14 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #13.1 Who passed out the Haterade?
  
  Santorum.
  
  Mar 10, 2012 at 11:32 am rating: 90
- #13.2 The Elf
  
  CANNED santorum.
  
  Mar 12, 2012 at 7:07 am rating: 90
add to this thread
#14 Pilgrimchick

This is a great example of a collaborative think-tank.

Mar 10, 2012 at 9:24 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #14.1 FeRD
  
  I believe it’s a drink-tank, actually.
  
  Mar 11, 2012 at 4:39 pm rating: 90
add to this thread
#15 anna

It’s a bit unfunny, the first three notes have been written by the same person as evidenced by the handwriting. They didn’t even bother to change the pen.

Mar 14, 2012 at 12:40 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment