A belated birthday/thank you card

May 2nd, 2012 · 105 comments

Ashley in Sheffield received this lovely belated birthday card from a neighbo(u)r.

(Nicely done, Laura.)

Dear Ashley, Happy Birthday. Hope you had a great evening. Thanks very much for keeping me awake by you and your friends screaming and shouting in the street. Enjoy your day of sleeping it off. I have to go to work and function on no sleep. Thanks again, Laura.

related: If you were the one who was so drunk or so stupid…

FILED UNDER: birthday · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · noise · sleeping · thanks (but not really) · U.K.

105 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Fat Desdemona

    I’m definitely Team Letter Writer. Drunk, screaming girls should burn in the fiery depths.

    May 2, 2012 at 5:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   germangirl

      Team notewriter!

      May 4, 2012 at 4:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   hugsandkisses101

    File this one under plain ol’ “aggressive”.

    Yelling “shut up, please!” to a rude neighbor and her self-absorbed (probably) 20-something, (certainly) DRUNK friends at 2am: 2 seconds (and probably forgotten the next day).

    Leaving a bitchy, overly dramatic, passive aggressive ‘birthday’ card for someone you LIVE next to? That’s there forever.

    May 2, 2012 at 5:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   H for Toy

      Especially now that it’s immortalized on PAN.

      May 2, 2012 at 6:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Sir Puke

      Not to mention that the card is now on the internet.
      Holler at the drunks.

      May 2, 2012 at 6:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   Dani

      You honestly think they’d listen? They’re drunk and partying, they don’t care if they’re keeping people up. She should have called the cops on them.

      May 3, 2012 at 2:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   Kwyjor

      Yes, dangit. If Laura’s sleep was so dang important to her, she should have called the cops rather than complaining about it after the fact.

      On the other hand, at least she signed her name rather than sniping anonymously. It doesn’t make up for the message’s tone, but it counts for something.

      May 3, 2012 at 9:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.5   Dr_Know

      I’m just surprised at how nice of a card it is considering the contents!

      May 8, 2012 at 7:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.6   Anna

      For a number of years, I lived in an area that had a large student population. I called the police on my super-loud neighbors, but they wouldn’t come. In the unlikely event that they did come, it was hours after I called and then they would ring my door to be let in, not the loud neighbor’s door.

      The best solution tends to be Benadryl and earplugs.

      May 14, 2012 at 6:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.7   jimbotheclown

      I tried the cop solution once. They ended up spending three hours banging on the doors. (The people spent a long time refusing to open the door, and the cops wouldn’t enter without a warrant.) The nightstick against the metal door was far worse than the party had been.

      Sep 9, 2012 at 1:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Kaylee

    I like how the neighbour took the time to put a nice picture of a peacock on the card

    May 2, 2012 at 5:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Amory

    Ashley is also a boy’s name, but at any rate, I am on the side of the neighbour. There’s nothing quite so annoying as a gang of obnoxious young and drunken people hollering outside when you’re trying to just get some proper sleep. Now that’s aggressive.

    May 2, 2012 at 5:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Aliceblue

      That’s why God made sprinklers – clears the street fast.

      May 3, 2012 at 12:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   a-Arialist

      As an aside – Ashley is not a boys name in the UK.

      May 3, 2012 at 3:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   Ponytail

      a-Arialist, yes it is. There are two male Ashleys on my work directory.

      May 3, 2012 at 5:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   Jordie

      As an aside on that aside, does the gender matter here?

      Drunk, obnoxious people screaming in the streets while I’m trying to sleep is offensive regardless of gender.

      May 3, 2012 at 8:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.5   Jami

      A lot of people give the name Ashley to girls now. I don’t think it’s really been a boy’s name since Gone With The Wind.

      May 3, 2012 at 11:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.6   kate

      I have known at least 3 male Ashleys in the UK.

      May 3, 2012 at 2:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.7   The Elf

      There are a bunch of traditionally male names that are used more frequently by females thse days: Ashley, Tracy, Jackie, Kelly, Jamie, Harley, Toby, Shelley, etc. Basically, anything with a Y or IE ending. Now you get even more with Jordan, Taylor, Tyler, Maxwell, Harper, Cameron, etc.

      There are still quite a few guys out there with these names and they are all very tired of saying “Yes, it’s MR. Ashley Lastname.” As the wife of one of these, I can say there’s one advantage. I can easily call a company and pretend to be Ashley Lastname with ease. It’s also good for screening out scammers and junk mailers.

      My name is feminine, but hard for Americans to pronounce correctly. So he can’t pretend to be me, but I still get an easy way to screen who actually knows me or not.

      May 3, 2012 at 3:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Siobhan

    eh it was her birthday its allowed.

    May 2, 2012 at 6:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Ma'am

      Well that’s insanely self-centered. I, for one, don’t give a shit about your birthday. I don’t want to be kept awake by you and your friends.

      May 2, 2012 at 6:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Seanette

      So your neighbors are entitled to deprive you of a necessity of life (namely, sleep) just because they’re celebrating, thus quite likely putting your life at risk if you have to drive when sleep-deprived or you work in a dangerous setting?

      Glad I live in a more mature neighborhood, where people can have fun without tormenting the employed among their neighbors.

      May 2, 2012 at 6:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   catethulhu

      Not really. There are noise laws. Also, agreeing with m’am here. You have to be a self centered dick to think anybody but your mommy and daddy gives a crap about your birthday. Every day is somebodies birthday, do you think there should be constant screaming all the freaking time? No, the only people who do that crap and try to excuse it with “it’s my birthday!” is a jackass.

      May 2, 2012 at 8:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.4   becky

      I hate people that complain about noise. It was one night they were loud. If my neighbors were incredibly loud a couple nights a year I would let it go. I like when people are having fun and enjoying life. If it became a pattern and started depriving me of enjoying my life then I would complain. If I had a sleeping baby or children then I would walk over and ask nicely.

      May 2, 2012 at 8:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.5   a-Arialist

      Loud during the week (which this sounds like it was) is never acceptable. Ashley is a self-centred little cow.

      May 3, 2012 at 3:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.6   Mercy

      Just like you don’t care about my birthday, I don’t care about your sleep and workday. It’s a vicious cycle, see how that works?
      How about we all try to be human beings to each other. it works both ways. If it was an every night thing or even once a week thing, then fine. But it happened one night. You all sound more self-entitled and uptight than the people youa re accusing.

      May 3, 2012 at 8:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.7   nikki

      If a neighbor is going to have a party that he/she expects could be loud and go late into the night, the neighbors should be politely informed and invited! If the neighbors are being too loud and you need to sleep, go over there and tell them. If they’re still assholes — call the cops. You tried! And that’s what noise ordinances are for.

      I used to live in a “laid back” apartment complex with a neighbor who kept a drum set in the room adjoining my bedroom. I tried to be “cool neighbor” and we made an agreement that he could play whenever he wanted during afternoon/early evening hours but every now and then he’d get drunk and play drums at midnight-2 a.m. Sometimes it was so loud he couldn’t even hear me knocking/shouting at him through the front door to stop. One particularly desperate evening, when I had a terrible flu and he’d started playing at close to midnight while I was sleeping after 5 minutes of knocking/shouting at him I actually tried his door knob, found his door unlocked, walked inside and found him at the back of the house and snottily/sadly plead with him to knock it off because I desperately needed to sleep. I think he was pretty weirded out and he stopped playing late at night after that. Sometimes a situation is too urgent for passive aggressive notes.

      May 3, 2012 at 8:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.8   This or That

      @Mercy: “How about we all try to be human beings to each other. it works both ways.” Right. So you don’t keep me up all night and I’ll return the favor. Your idea of “being human beings to each other” is “I’ll yell and scream and party and be disruptive all night and you deal with it.” Reasonableness Fail.

      Team note writer all the way.

      May 3, 2012 at 10:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.9   Jami

      No it’s not. ONLY time you’re allowed to be loud is when you’re being beaten, raped, and/or murdered. Then you can scream all you want to get your neighbors to call the police.

      Otherwise, you have respect for others and keep it to a reasonable level. And if you don’t, the cops will be called.

      May 3, 2012 at 11:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.10   Starfish

      So – if you have a infant/small child who is being disturbed, you should leave them all alone, walk across the street, and ask the party people if they realize other people live here? So in addition to being woken up, and potentially scared senseless, then they can be temporarily abandoned, and potentially injured during that time period? Yeah, that sounds logical.

      May 3, 2012 at 12:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.11   Who passed out the Haterade?

      “Just like you don’t care about my birthday, I don’t care about your sleep and workday. It’s a vicious cycle, see how that works?”

      Yes. And you know what the best way to end a vicious cycle is? Not to frickin’ START IT.

      Laura’s sarcasm was somewhat disrespectful, true. But you acted a hell of a lot more disrespectfully, and you’re the one who caused the situation in the first place. Team “Birthdays are not an excuse to act like an ill-behaved child and get pissy if someone calls you on it.”

      May 3, 2012 at 12:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.12   Um..

      @ Ma’am…. isn’t it MORE self centered to think that no one is ever going to be noisy or loud EVER? If it were a regular occurance, totally wrong. But once in a while.. suck it up. You have neighbours. People make noise.

      May 3, 2012 at 12:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.13   WTH

      Starfish- I guess we have different definitions about being abandoned and scared senseless. If you have an infant who gets woken by music or loud talking, I dont consider it abandonment to walk across the street and ask them to be quiet. I certainly dont expect my child to be harmed while in their crib or beds alone for 2 minutes otherwise they wouldnt be sleeping in there. By your tone you seem to be one of those judgy women who feel that their definitions of parenting are the only right ones and relish the chance to jump on another mothers parenting style and tear it down to feel better about yourself. Other people have opinions and parenting methods and yours are no better.

      May 3, 2012 at 1:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.14   The Elf

      a-Arialist, we don’t know for sure that this party was on a weekday. Laura could be a shift worker; there’s a lot of people in all sorts of professions who work weekend morning shifts.

      Weekend/weekday does make a difference. Weekend, I’d let one party slide. Weekday, Oh Hell No. It’s assumed that the majority of people need to do something of high importance (work, school) the next day.

      (Yes, I’ve been a shift worker. I know the horror of trying to sleep when the rest of the world is awake.)

      May 3, 2012 at 3:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.15   Abba Bryant


      It doesn’t matter if you care about my sleep or my job. You can’t get a citation for going to work or sleeping in your home at night.

      You can, easily, get a citation for interfering with my sleep at night. I bet the police care. Try telling the cops that show up at your next loud, rude, inconsiderately timed party that you explained to the person who called the complaint in that “you don’t care if they get to sleep” and see what they say.

      Team Note Writer 100%

      May 3, 2012 at 4:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.16   infanttyrone

      @ Mercy (the Merciless)

      Your self-centered whine of entitlement
      is a perfect example of the fallacy of false equivalency.

      Please don’t be surprised if the glorification of your uniqueness
      makes you a perfect target for a serial killer one of these days.

      And be sure to reflect on the appropriateness (and equivalency)
      of them not giving a rat’s ass about your suffering…
      hell, for all you know, it might be their birthday…
      and who do you think you are to spoil their little party.

      Merci pour rien, chienne…
      taire et regarder dans la caméra.

      May 3, 2012 at 5:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.17   Mercy

      Perhaps I have a lot more patience and understanding than most but I like to pick my battles. Birthdays happen, babies cry at 2 am, couples fight, dogs bark, people have loud sex sometimes, walls are thin. If it bothers people enough then yes by all means, call the cops. Me? I’ll just put on some headphones or pull out my Dolphin for a blissful night of sleep ;-)and hope the time when it IS me having the loud sex,or with the newborn who just won’t shut the F up, my neighbors will understand that life happens. That is all. If this type of thinking means I am entitled and whiny and will get killed by a serial killer because it’s facetious, fallcious, er…falllacy whatever…so be it.

      May 4, 2012 at 12:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.18   Poltergeist

      There’s a bit of a difference between a baby crying and a loud birthday party. A baby crying is somewhat unavoidable, whereas a loud party isn’t. You’re right, life happens, but when you have total control over how it affects others, don’t expect to get much sympathy. I myself would let the rare occurance of a loud party go ignored if my neighbor was otherwise fine, but that doesn’t change the fact that it was still rude and inconsiderate. There are plenty of options for having birthday fun without the need to disturb your neighbors. If you’re having a loud party at home, limit it to daylight/early night hours (of which there are many.) If it’s going to extend into sleepytime, move the party to a city bar or a club or a cabin at Lake Skinnydip.

      May 4, 2012 at 3:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.19   Dr_Know

      I have the feeling that there is a massive cultural divide on this note.

      It may just be me but in Australian culture it’s pretty acceptable to be noisy occasionally, especially when celebrating! So long as it is not a constant thing then I don’t think it should be that big of a deal. Sure it sucks to be tired but if it is actually keeping you up the entire night I would definitely talk to the people involved. Being bitchy about it later solves nothing.

      I’m not terribly impressed with the ageism going on here either :/

      May 8, 2012 at 7:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.20   Poltergeist

      It’s not a cultural divide. Unless all of you Aussies are too busy frying bloomin’ onions and swinging from eucalyptus trees to work, you should understand. As I’ve said before, I’d let it go once in awhile since I’m just that wonderful of a person, but that still doesn’t excuse you from being so completely inconsiderate as to think that for even one night, everybody should simply have to put up with your noisy fiesta when there are plenty of other ways/places to go to have late-night fun.

      May 8, 2012 at 7:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.21   Dr_Know

      Onions? Where did that come from?

      Yeah I work and study, so I understand that it would be annoying if it was all the time. One night every now and then I could, and have, managed.

      What I’m saying is that life happens and yeah I don’t think it’s rude to make a little bit of noise on occasion. Especially since this neighbour didn’t say anything at the time – how is Ashley supposed to know that he/she was being TOO loud?

      Also be practical – where should this person go? Can you not think of all the things that would prevent you from going to those places e.g. cost, ability to get safely home, number of people etc ?

      May 13, 2012 at 7:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.22   Poltergeist

      I honestly wouldn’t expect you to know about the blooming onion. It’s something Americans joke about when referencing Australia since it’s the signature appetizer of the (disgusting) US restaurant chain Outback Steakhouse.

      As for noise, the majority of people who have a cent wort of sense would know when they’re too loud. It’s just that some people don’t really care. But thank you for the information about Australia. I know where I’m going the next time I want to get violently drunk, dance to pulsing music, and scream at the top of my lungs.

      May 14, 2012 at 3:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Mrs.Beasley

    Loud Party Rule #1: Always invite the neighbors. Even if they decline, there’s less likelihood that they will be moved to complain about the noise.

    May 2, 2012 at 6:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   havingfitz

    Having grown up with a drunk, I learned first hand the dangers of confronting, angering people who have had a few too many. You never know how someone is going to react. The letter is a bit much, but at least it was safer.

    May 2, 2012 at 7:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   The Elf

      Since the letter was after the fact, the conversation could have been too. Ashley probably isn’t drunk 24/7.

      May 3, 2012 at 9:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Daniel

    Haha … I love the hyperbolic comments, particularly the “putting-your-life-at-risk cause-you’ve-been-up-all night-and-driving,” or the “how they might react” dangers … really, it was a birthday party. If the neighbor would have asked them to keep it down, I bet they would have … team party-your-ass-off-on-your-birthday.

    May 2, 2012 at 7:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   havingfitz

      I’m so glad you’ve never had your life put in danger by a drunk. I have. My best friend died as a result of getting on a drunk’s bad side. His crime?
      He brushed against the guy going into a building, and was attacked and beaten so badly the brain damage killed him. Alcohol makes people react in unpredictable, often violent ways. After the bastard who murdered my friend sobered up, he was very sorry about it. Doesn’t change the fact that his parents had to bury a 22-year-old.

      May 3, 2012 at 12:02 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   Who passed out the Haterade?

      I’m sorry for your loss, havingfitz, and I agree that confronting a possibly-belligerent drunk is not the first choice of action I would take… but at some point, fear and potential risk have to give way to the cost of inaction. If it’s worth writing a PA note about it in the morning, then it’s worth saying something about it the night before.

      Being drunk may make someone more likely to give in to their impulses, but it doesn’t create them as those who try to excuse their actions by saying “But I was drunk!” would have us believe. It takes a seriously damaged mind to get violent or commit murder over something so senseless… being drunk was no reason or even plausible excuse. By comparison to how much their effed-up head was the real cause, being drunk is almost a coincidence.

      For the record, though it might not have sounded like it: Team notewriter. The note is counterproductively sarcastic (“Thanks very much”, “Thanks again”), but Ashley and her friends were clearly in the wrong.

      May 3, 2012 at 1:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   becky

      Really having fitz? Just because some wildly crazy thing happened to one person at one point doesnt make it a realistic possibility. Yes drunk people are stupid, but I seriously doubt that even 1% of the population would be inclined to beat to death someone who brushed up against them no matter how drunk they are. I wouldnt bother to confront them anyways, wait and see if it happens again before you make some bitchy issue about it.

      May 3, 2012 at 3:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.4   jojo

      Drunk people can absolutely be dangerous. That is why you call the police if you don’t want to confront them yourself. Cops have all kinds of training, protection, weapons, and authority, and dealing with drunk people is part of their job.

      May 4, 2012 at 7:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.5   FeRD bang

      Sober people can be equally dangerous. Don’t believe me? I’ll fuckin’ kill ya! :evil:

      May 7, 2012 at 9:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Danielle

    Nope, letter writer is wrong here. She KNOWS this neighbor, the thing to do is go over and politely but firmly insist that the noise level is kept down. While the letter writer is justified in being angry, you don’t just leave nasty notes to someone that you are at least somewhat on friendly terms with.

    May 2, 2012 at 8:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Knickerbocker Glory

      I agree — Although to be fair to the neighbor, she probably wrote the nasty note in a frustrated, sleep-deprived frame of mind. I know I’m more likely to impulsively say (or write) things I’ll regret later when I’ve been kept up all night.

      May 2, 2012 at 8:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   ziblue

    The illustration of the peacock is pretty, and if it was intentionally picked, that part of it IS a clever statement (ever heard a peacock?) If she’d kept it low-key and underhanded like that in the note part, this would be a masterful passive-aggressive note. She loses points by sounding so whiny and huffy. And not asking her to keep it down a little, since she obviously knows her.

    May 2, 2012 at 8:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   bitchy the dwarf

    funchon? If you’re gonna bitch about something, at least spell everything properly. Oh wait…I forgot you were sleep-deprived ((rolls eyes))

    Team Birthday!!!

    May 2, 2012 at 9:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   nick17

      That looks more like sloppy handwriting than a misspelling to me.

      May 2, 2012 at 10:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   caffeine

      I would say this is just her sloppy (sleep deprived?) handwriting and not a spelling error. If you look at the ‘ti’ combination in the word shouting in the previous sentence, you can see she has continued on the crossbar of the t to continue to the next letter. She just started it too low down as her writing got smaller and more cramped towards the end of the note. That’s how I saw it when I read it but perhaps my brain just doesn’t want to accept that someone would actually write “funchon”.

      May 2, 2012 at 11:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Tundra

    When it comes to neighbours, housemates, etc, not much is worse than a lot of noise at night.

    May 2, 2012 at 9:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Nessa

    Sorry, #notewriter. I’ll admit, she was a little overly-dramatic about it, but noise laws do exist. I don’t care what day it is. Nobody should have to tell you to keep it down.

    May 2, 2012 at 10:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   Agg

    Ashley sounds like an asshole. Letter writer wins.

    May 2, 2012 at 11:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   bookworm

    Team notewriter all the way. Nobody gives a shit about your birthday Ashley.

    May 3, 2012 at 12:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Jimmah

    maybe nobody gives a shit about yer birthday, but some of us still like to have FUN. if you don’t speak up when yer annoyed, expect to continue to be a bitchey little note writer forever. and not get any sleep cause you can’t communicate with real live humans…

    May 3, 2012 at 1:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Seanette

      Try acting like a human being with some respect for those who have to WORK (in my husband’s job, if he’s going in sleep-deprived, he really could be endangering his own life and those of his co-workers), and the grown-ups will treat you like one.

      May 3, 2012 at 7:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   Poltergeist

      Here’s the thing Jimmah – nobody should have to tell you when you’ve been too loud. You’re an adult and should be able to make reasonable decisions on your own. Don’t give the BS explanation, “Oh if only you would have talked to me, I would have stopped acting like an asshole.” No, you knew what you were doing was disruptive but chose to carry on anyway. Grow up and keep the tone of your parties down after certain hours when you know for a fact people are trying to sleep. If you can’t do that, then you’ll get disrespect in return.

      May 3, 2012 at 10:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.3   Uly

      If you can’t have fun without keeping the neighborhood awake, grow up. Nobody else has your little problem, and we don’t want to have to put up with it either. You’re not six. “Fun” means more than “Run around screaming like a loon”.

      May 5, 2012 at 10:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.4   Jimmah

      sometimes, yes, fun means more than running around like a loon. In fact, often. Butt sometimes fun means fucking off and not giving a shit unless somebody else does. we are entitled to not be so civilized all the time as humans are listed under the animal category, not just wage slaves.

      May 9, 2012 at 12:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.5   Poltergeist

      Are you 16 and stupid? You sound like you’re 16 and stupid. Please tell me where you live. My next vacation is going to consist of me bugging the ever-loving shit out of you 24/7 (and you have no idea the magnitude of my powers of annoyance). You can’t complain either since I’ll be having fun.

      May 9, 2012 at 1:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   notolaf

    Team Letter Writer. Drunk, loud, and obnoxious is what BARS are for.

    May 3, 2012 at 1:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Lady

      Some of us dont like to drink at bars. They arent exactly the safest places. More fights, thefts, sexual assaults, and most people drive home shit faced. I prefer to throw get togethers at home so I know everythings safe. Nobodys leaving my house driving if theyre drinking, and nobodies coming that I dont know. Considering most people pay a hell of a lot of money to own their home I think they have a right to have parties at home. If you cant handle a little noise on some weekends it sounds like you need to get the stick out of your @ss.

      May 3, 2012 at 9:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.2   bookworm

      Er, no. If you can’t handle the fact that noise ordinances are there for a reason, you need to take your loud party to a bar.

      May 3, 2012 at 2:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.3   Abba Bryant

      @Lady: *Most people* don’t own a home at all. Just because you live somewhere and want people to respect your actions while you are there doesn’t mean you get to disrespect *my* home by being so loud that I have to hear it.

      Respect goes both ways – I will respect your right to do whatever the fuck you want in your place but when it carries over, pollutes or interferes with my rights to do the same in my place you are out of line.

      And fuck all this “tell them to keep it down” shit before you call the cops. You know what works.. call the cops first and then go let the neighbors know. Bet they shut the fuck up before the police arrive.

      May 3, 2012 at 5:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   a-Arialist

    Team letter writer, all the way. I used to live in the flat above Ashley’s male counterpart(s) and people screaming and shouting at 3am on a weeknight was a regular occurrence. I never approached them (young single woman trying to speak to rowdy drunk bunch of guys NEVER a good idea) so had to stew in silence. Good for Laura getting it off her chest.

    May 3, 2012 at 3:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   becky

      Why didnt you wait until you ran into one of them during the day and ask them to try and keep it down?

      May 3, 2012 at 3:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   infanttyrone

      Maybe because they were uncivilized assholes ?
      Just a hypothesis, subject to verification.

      May 3, 2012 at 5:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   Eat The Beat

    Ashley should have sent the neighbour’s notice. When it was my 21st (I lived in a block of flats, some people were elderly, some with kids), I posted a short note through each of their letterboxes a week in advance warning them I was going to be having a party with other 20-somethings and that it would be noisy. Guess what? Noone complained.

    Reasonable people expect parties (especially student parties) to be noisy, so if you give them notice then I would say 99% of people would understand. If you don’t, that’s when all hell breaks loose.

    That being said, I don’t condone the neighbour’s response. She should at the very least have waited before sending a card. That will most likely dent relations between the two perhaps for the rest of the tenancy, and that’s not good :-/

    May 3, 2012 at 5:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Kriesa

      If you got no complaints, I’ll bet your party was not on a weeknight. Regardless of “advance notice”, I don’t think most neighbors would put up with that kind of noise when they have to work in the morning. As others have said: that’s what bars are for.

      Also… even if they never said anything, I’ll bet that your party “dented relations” with your neighbors. You just didn’t care.

      May 3, 2012 at 8:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   Lady

      Why would having a party on your own property on the weekend to celebrate with advanced notice dent relations with neighbors? Is nobody allowed to make any noise? People buy their own houses so they can live their own lives. Its a give and take. You need to make compromises and not allowing your neighbors some leniency on noise is pretty sh*tty. Honestly if your neighbor has a controlled party a couple times a year and hands out notices and youre still feeling pissy about it then you are simply looking for a reason to be pissy.

      May 3, 2012 at 9:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.3   The Elf

      An occassional weekend night loud party with advance notice should be given a pass by the neighbors, especially if we’re talking single family homes. It gets dicier the closer the neighbors live, if it occurs on a weekday, and especially if it occurs more frequently than once or twice a year.

      While it is certainly within the rights of the neighbors to complain or even call the cops when a party is loud past the accepted hours, an otherwise great and quiet neighbor is likely to be forgiven for one night’s revelry by reasonable people. They know it doesn’t fit the pattern. The problem is when this is just a one part of a larger pattern of disrespect.

      May 3, 2012 at 9:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.4   Kriesa

      When I said that the party giver probably “dented relations” with neighbors, I was referring to the poster above, who lives in a block of flats with other tenants who are elderly or who have families. I do think it’s rude to throw a loud party when you’re sharing walls and floors with people who most likely value their sleep.

      If you’re in a stand-alone house, it’s different, although it’s still rude to allow shouting to spill out onto the street.

      May 3, 2012 at 12:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.5   Eat The Beat

      Actually Kriesa, I have to say I’m with Lady on this: you ARE being pissy for the sake of it. It didn’t dent relations and my neighbours because we still spoke and they were actually appreciative I’d told them. You see, the reason for the advance notice was to give anyone time to object/come and talk to me about it if they had concerns and noone did because they understand it’s my property and we are all allowed a ‘pass’ once in a while with regards to noise with good reason (and I think a birthday which comes once a year is a good enough reason).

      I am just thankful that you did not live in my block of flats. If an advance warning (which you gives the person time to approach the party-thrower about so they can object if necessary) doesn’t please you then I’m sure in some way or form you’re the kind of person who has a whole series of dented relationships with people due to your moaning!

      May 3, 2012 at 12:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.6   Kriesa

      Actually, I don’t moan, and I get along well with my neighbors. I live in an apartment building where people abide by the noise regulations set out in our lease.

      I’m glad that you’ve found a way to get along with your neighbors as well.

      May 3, 2012 at 2:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.7   The Elf

      It depends on the neighbor. If this neighbor is otherwise quiet and a good neighbor, I would be inclined to let *one* crazy night a year go, especially if it was on a weekend night. It’s just not worth fighting over, even if I need an extra cup of coffee the next morning. Technically, Ashley done wrong and violated noise ordinances. But one offense is not a pattern of behavior, and I’d let it slide.

      But the gal who sees every weekend as an excuse to PAR-TAY and who also takes up extra parking spaces or is generally a bitch, oh yeah, I’m pulling out all the stops.

      So before I say Team Laura or Team Ashley, I’d need to know what kind of neighbor Ashley is. I don’t, so Team Nobody. Ashley should have dropped her neighbors a warning and Laura should have brought it up with Ashley personally to make sure it never happens again.

      May 3, 2012 at 3:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   Sevencrown

    I admit I did not read every comment, so maybe I missed if someone made this point.

    Being loud and obnoxious on a work night is certainly rude, but some people have interesting definitions of loud and rude. This party could have easily been well within reasonable limits and our card-writer is just being crazy because it was not absolute silence. “People shouting in the street” could easily have been a few people talking out front while smoking, for instance.

    I’ve been there when a single neighbor is complaining about the noise that the rest of the block is sleeping through.

    May 3, 2012 at 10:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Melissa

      Except the rest of the block ISN’T sleeping through it, they just aren’t saying anything.

      There is no reason a drunken fun birthday needs to be LOUD. Or rain down exploding glass beer bottles, former upstairs-neighbor BRATS!

      May 5, 2012 at 3:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   Madrias

    Team Notewriter.

    Having had rather loud obnoxious drunk neighbors who threw parties every night for 3 months straight (and were evicted for not paying their rent…), I know full well that it’s really difficult to function the next day if you couldn’t sleep.

    Nothing like going to school/work with no sleep and having to kick beer bottles off of the sidewalk because the upstairs drunks had another party and slept it all off that morning to do so again by night.

    I hate stupid people.

    May 3, 2012 at 2:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Melissa

      Yes, I think they lived above me for a few months!

      May 5, 2012 at 3:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   Tarn

    Team Notewriter. The last thing I want to do when someone is keeping me awake, is head out in my jammies, bed-head and unmadeup face to tell them to keep it down! Especially since she’s complaining about the noise they’re making in the street, so she’d have to go outside to do it.

    The people in the house next door to me hold loud late parties, mostly on weekends, true, but still, it’s getting annoying.. They do warn us (they put a note on the door of our block). But they party at least every couple of months, and they always take place at the back of the house and in the garden (even in winter). You can’t hear a thing from the street, but out back, where our bedrooms overlook – oy. There’s simply no way anyone in my block (and I assume the others around) can sleep until the party ends!

    To those talking about calling the cops – not applicable. UK cops don’t respond to noise calls. It’s a local authority matter, and I bet most of those (like mine) only run a Noise Line on Friday and Saturday nights. Any other time, you’re on your own. And the one time I called the Noise Patrol to an all-night party in my block (I already knew these guys were unpleasant, so I was nervous of going up there), the NP came and sat outside in their car & took notes. That was all. They couldn’t tell them to STFU because there wasn’t a cop available to go with them – Health & Safety…..

    May 4, 2012 at 9:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   Annie

    Team Ashley. It sounds like this wasn’t a regular occurrence, nobody knows whether it was a weekend or not, and that note was super bitchy. I have a hard time feeling sympathy for someone who stayed up all night getting mad at people for causing noise, but didn’t have the balls to do something about it. The note writer could have gone over and asked them to be quieter, or (if she tried that and it didn’t work) called the cops. Besides, I’ve had some really obnoxious neighbors before who will make noise complaints about the slightest thing. How do we know that the party wasn’t actually pretty low-key and the note writer just overreacted? There’s nothing about loud music or anything. Maybe the “screaming and shouting” was Ashley saying goodbye to guests at the front door, and the neighbor’s an overly sensitive bitch?

    May 4, 2012 at 12:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #24   derp

    I like how the morons submited it here thinking people would side with them. Yes, we all love noisy drunk bitches next door during weekdays

    May 5, 2012 at 10:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Anna


      I have a feeling that all the people who are rushing to defend “Ashley” are also loud azz people with zero accountability for their own obnoxious acts.

      May 14, 2012 at 6:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #25   Guy who lives with Ashley

    Just a little bit of info about where we live…
    It is densely populated with students. Laura is one of around 4 or 5 houses on a mile long road that decided to move to this area. Noise happens regularly on this street.. I personally think if you want peace and quiet where you live,dont move to what is practically a student village. Now for those of you you believe were morons for making noise, go crawl back into your caves and remain bitter about everything you stand against.. whilst we sit in our noisy environment and have a great time.. thanks. Oh and just so you know, 2 of us DJ for a living, so we gave her our mobile numbers when she moved in.. so a text or phone call could have easily been made.

    May 6, 2012 at 1:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Tarn

      You had me up until the sentence ending in ‘student village’. That’s all fair enough.
      But the stuff after that? Oh dear oh dear.
      I’m just going to sit back and watch the sh*t fly…. ;-)

      May 6, 2012 at 2:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.2   bookworm

      Great, you’re students! Now learn to act like grown-ups, please.

      May 6, 2012 at 9:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.3   The Elf

      It is reasonable to anticipate that students will be noisy neighbors on a regular basis, but that doesn’t mean that you *should* be noisy neighbors. “Practically” a student village ISN’T a student village. As I said, one party should get a pass when it comes from otherwise good neighbors. Sounds like this isn’t a one-party-a-year house, so maybe you should consider that not everyone wants to listen to you celebrate every minor event in your lives.

      And the DJ thing… I’m not sure what you meant. Are you saying that Laura could sent a late night text to one of two friends who don’t live with Ashley in order to complain about Ashley’s noise? That doesn’t even make sense. I know I would not assume you were working your late night DJ job (and thus would be awake) or that you would have any control over the noise.

      May 7, 2012 at 9:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.4   Kat

      I’m pretty sure I know which area of Sheffield this is in. It’s not a student village, but there are a lot of student houses there, within a residential community that includes people who have lived there all their lives. That doesn’t give anyone an excuse for being rowdy, and the University frequently (perhaps 3 times a year) sends out emails telling students they have to respect their neighbours and be quiet while on the streets at night. Just because it’s an ongoing problem doesn’t mean that you get a free reign to be as noisy as you want

      May 8, 2012 at 4:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.5   Poltergeist

      Apparently it’s okay to be loud and obnoxious on a regular basis as long as you’re doing it as part of a group. Extra leniency if you’re college students who just HAVE to celebrate every waking moment since “you only get one life to live,” as the personalized quote says on under each one of your high school yearbook photos.

      Listen DJ Jazzy Jeff, why don’t you and your baked posse take your bashed in turntable and case of Bud Lite into the woods and have yourselves a rootin-tootin hoedown, away from us bitter, cave-dwelling, hard-working diurnal folk. We were probably cramping your style anyway. And good luck on finals!

      May 8, 2012 at 7:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.6   The Elf

      The University actually sends out notices reminding students to be respectful to their neighbors? I don’t know whether to cheer the University’s proactive attitude or recoil in horror that the problem is THAT bad!

      May 8, 2012 at 7:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.7   Furubafan74

      I am now firmly on Team Laura. You’re old enough to live on your own, now act like it.

      Jul 12, 2015 at 11:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #26   Tarn

    I think you’re projecting, Annie. It sounds like you’re still bitter about those neighbours. You seem determined to tar Laura with the same brush. ….overly sensitive bitch? Yep. Bitter.
    You say you’ve
    had some really obnoxious neighbors before who will make noise complaints about the slightest thing.
    Neighbours, plural? Because I can see maybe getting one neighbour who is hyper-sensitive to noise. That was unlucky for you. But if it keeps happening, maybe you need to consider whether they have a point….

    No, we can’t assume ‘this wasn’t a regular occurrence’. There’s just not enough to go on. Laura doesn’t mention any history of noise, but she doesn’t say there wasn’t one, either.

    Nobody knows whether it was a weekend or not
    I think you mean if it was a weeknight. OK, we don’t know for sure, but since Laura says she had to go to work on no sleep, the odds are good that it was. Or a Sunday, which is just as bad.

    Laura not confronting them means she didn’t have the balls? Bollocks! ;-) I’d call it self-preservation. She might know Ashley, but she probably doesn’t know her mates.
    Last Sunday night, I went out to ask a drunk neighbour to turn down her music. Myself and the guy next door spent half an hour asking her to please be considerate. She just shouted us down. We gave up when she got really threatening. Net result: we were shaken up, and the drunk neighbour’s noise carried on! And that was one woman and two of us. I’d hate to confront a group of drunken idiots on my own, and I don’t think it’s fair to fault Laura for that.

    No, she couldn’t have called the cops. Not an option in the UK, as I said in another post. She might have been able to call the local authority noise line, if there is one, and it was available. (But most of them only cover Fridays and Saturdays).

    Still Team Laura.

    May 6, 2012 at 2:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #27   Tom

    As sure as I am that all you people are not taking a note far too seriously or blowing it way out of proportion and are actually helping to change the world by discussing such a vital issue I can’t help but notice that if she had time to get up, find a nice card and sit down to write it then her day of work can’t be as bad as she makes out. If she’d have just sat down, had a coffee and a bit of toast she’d have felt far better about her day. I remember one time I was kept up all night and I was getting ready to write a letter to my local council about it but then I just had some Cheerios and carried on with my life.

    May 6, 2012 at 2:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Tarn

      Indeed, Cheerios are pretty good for most things, Tom. :-) I like the honey ones.
      I can’t speak for the rest, but I take it seriously because I’ve had noisy neighbours & it sucked. A lot. So I guess the subject pushes my buttons.

      Oh well, I’m off to see the Avengers again. Almost as good as Cheerios!

      May 7, 2012 at 8:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #28   Sarah

    I can’t believe no one has pointed out the fact that Laura could well have talked to Ashley several times before sending this card, hence the amount of passive aggressiveness in the note. These people are often repeat offenders.

    I’ve had noisy neighbours for years in several locations. Each time I’ve gone to talk to them, been very polite and requested they consider my feelings. Has it helped? Not. One. Bit. The guys who live next door to me now told me I have to come round and tell them whenever they’re making too much noise. Considering they play loud music at various times of the day and night on a regular basis, how is it fair that the onus is on me to put a stop to it EVEN AFTER I’ve told them it’s a problem? If it’s 4.30am, I would like to stay asleep, not get dressed and go and try and find them among a whole crowd of party-goers!

    May 10, 2012 at 9:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Tarn

      I’ve been in the same position. In the end I started phoning them so at least I didn’t have to get up. But they mostly ignored the phone, once they realised it was usually me!

      May 10, 2012 at 10:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #28.2   Sarah

      I had to go out at 5am the other night because they were having a party and the music was impossible to sleep through… I knew they were having a party, so I stayed out as late as I could and then came home to watch films as I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep. At around 4:30am, it became clear they weren’t going to stop, so I sent a polite text to one of my neighbours, requesting they turn the music down. As a result, the music got even louder and I had no choice but to leave the house. I ended up walking around the city for several hours, exhausted and upset. When I returned home, my housemate told me they hadn’t stopped until 7am.

      People who genuinely believe it is their right to play music and make as much noise as they want, regardless of who they’re affecting, are generally quite passive aggressive people themselves…

      May 15, 2012 at 2:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #29   Lillith

    My ten cents:
    Write out the nice card, without so much passive-aggressive malarky.
    Get up twenty minutes earlier than you need to to get to work, go over and POUND on the door and doorbell until you get her up to wish her a happy birthday and give her the card. Blithely make a remark about “oh, I’m sorry- did I get you up? You were still going hard at two/three/whenever, so I figured you’d still be winding down about now!”
    Extra points for heating up some potent-smelling canned soup as a gift as well.
    Later in the week, leave a polite note about how you realize it was her birthday, but the neighborhood has noise ordinances and in future, to turn down the bass at nine.

    Jul 23, 2012 at 9:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up