A few months ago, Christie in North Carolina joined a group on Meetup.com, but never found the time to attend any of the actual meetups. This, it seems, is a serious breach of Meetup netiquette. Recently, the group’s owner did Christie the favor of explaining why she was being kicked out of the group — for her own benefit, of course.
![Soooo....*twittles [sic] thumbs* its been more than 3mths and you haven't joined us ONCE??? Admit it, you hate us, and I can imagine its gotta be pretty darn annoying to get so many notifications from a group that you DON'T want to participate in SO, ....let me to do you a favor... Ill remove you from this group and if you ever have a change of heart you can come back. :-) HOWEVER, keep in mind we are an active group and only active members are invited, so I'll have my eye on you! Tough love hurts but somebody's gotta do it or you'll never try something new! Welp until next time.... *tear](http://farm8.static.flickr.com/7218/7223643052_5091935181_o.png "Soooo....*twittles [sic] thumbs* its been more than 3mths and you haven't joined us ONCE??? Admit it, you hate us, and I can imagine its gotta be pretty darn annoying to get so many notifications from a group that you DON'T want to participate in SO, ....let me to do you a favor... Ill remove you from this group and if you ever have a change of heart you can come back. :-) HOWEVER, keep in mind we are an active group and only active members are invited, so I'll have my eye on you! Tough love hurts but somebody's gotta do it or you'll never try something new! Welp until next time.... *tear")
73 responses so far ↓
#1
divaandwriter
Aww! Did the awful lady ignore you and make you feel bad? Well, she probably wishes she had never met up with all of you in the first place because you are just too self-important and annoying. Phoey on her.
May 17, 2012 at 8:44 am rating: 90
#2
H for Toy
I didn’t hate you before, but I certainly do now!
May 17, 2012 at 8:49 am rating: 90
#3
cecilia
The image was removed by flickr so we cannot view the hilarity. Boo
May 17, 2012 at 8:53 am rating: 90
#4
chiieddy
The text from the removed image is on the bottom of it still:
Soooo….*twittles [sic] thumbs* its been more than 3mths and you haven’t joined us ONCE??? Admit it, you hate us, and I can imagine its gotta be pretty darn annoying to get so many notifications from a group that you DON’T want to participate in SO, ….let me to do you a favor… Ill remove you from this group and if you ever have a change of heart you can come back.
HOWEVER, keep in mind we are an active group and only active members are invited, so I’ll have my eye on you! Tough love hurts but somebody’s gotta do it or you’ll never try something new! Welp until next time…. *tear
May 17, 2012 at 8:54 am rating: 90
#5
Redheadwglasses
Uh oh. I get meet-up invites/notices all the time, as I signed up with a euchre group. Unfortunately, I always have things already scheduled when a notification pops up.
I didn’t realize that I was being so unfair and demanding of A FREAKIN’ AUTOMATED SYSTEM.
May 17, 2012 at 12:05 pm rating: 90
#6
crooked chick
WELP is not a f-ing word! Can we end the use of it please – it is a blight on humanity!!!!
May 17, 2012 at 12:07 pm rating: 90
#7
ALLY
They do admit to being a group of “frenzies” on their Meetup page. I think the owner’s letter supports that claim. Don’t let them get you down, Christie. It sounds like you’re better off without Generation Y (Bother?)!!
May 17, 2012 at 12:14 pm rating: 90
#8
Lil'
Wow…what a B.
May 17, 2012 at 12:20 pm rating: 90
#9
Lucy
better off being deleted. “twittles [sic] thumbs* “–is annoying and unneccessary. those people would of gotten on my nerves.
May 17, 2012 at 12:22 pm rating: 90
#10
Amy
Super harsh! Suck it meetup.
May 17, 2012 at 12:26 pm rating: 90
#11
kermit
It is annoying and unpleasant to spend money, time etc. counting on the fact that people will show up and then they don’t.
I’m not a member of Meetup. I assume that with each invitation notice there’s an RSVP button, so the person who’s organizing the shindig is aware of how many people are likely to show up. So there’s no need to get this nasty over something so trivial.
May 17, 2012 at 12:59 pm rating: 90
#12
HaydenT
The thing about meetup is that it costs money (maybe $150?) to run every year. It can be very frustrating to have 200 ‘members’ of a meetup who never come to anything while only a few do and carry the whole group.
It’s pretty endemic to have a crapload of people signed up who never show up for anything or participate. I have no problem with booting non-participating folks from a group.
That note, however, is not the way to do it.
May 17, 2012 at 1:28 pm rating: 90
#13
Jill
I think she dodged a bullet there.
May 17, 2012 at 2:23 pm rating: 90
#14
Kaylee
I really think the note was meant to be in a “fun-loving, semi-sarcastic but in a good way” tone…Thus the happy face and fake crying at the end
May 17, 2012 at 2:29 pm rating: 90
#15
Amanda
I wonder what would happen if we all joined the group and didn’t go to any functions. Would there be spontaneous combustion on the part of the administrator?
May 17, 2012 at 2:47 pm rating: 90
#16
Uninspired Required Name
That lady sounds like a nutcase. Better off without those psychos.
May 17, 2012 at 3:05 pm rating: 90
#17
sally
A couple of years ago, we moved to a new area, and I joined a meetup.com group for stay-at-home moms with small kids.
The organizer wanted to keep the group small but active, and I was totally down with that. I went to events all the time, rarely missed one. I saw these people at least once a week. Loved the group. Considered them my friends.
Well, then I go and have my second child. He was sick when he was born (he’s fine now) and his doctors warned me not to have him around other kids too much for the first few months, until he was older and stronger. You know, so he wouldn’t get sick before his body was ready to handle it. And my meetup group actually cut me loose for not coming to events. The organizer knew why I hadn’t been coming around lately – I talked to her personally and explained it (again, I thought she was my friend). In fact, she was on the short list of people I called when my son went to the hospital. But she reiterated that she wanted to keep the group active and wanted room on the roster for someone who would come to events.
I haven’t really seen any of that crew since this happened. I’m still kind of sore about it, obviously. Folks take their damn meetup groups way, way, way too seriously.
Anyway. As soon as my kid was healthy enough, I went back to work. The people here are better.
May 17, 2012 at 3:44 pm rating: 90
#18
ziblue
It’s so very smug.
Why does one suspect the person writing it has been just dying to find an excuse to write that note? Either to this particular target, or to any other likely recipient?
Also: twiddles, dammit.
May 17, 2012 at 5:11 pm rating: 90
#19
Greg House
You’re better off without them-she sounds a little obsessive/psycho about this group thing…
May 17, 2012 at 6:25 pm rating: 90
#20
amelzor
I wonder where I can join a thumb twittling meet up?
May 17, 2012 at 6:25 pm rating: 90
#21
Pandy
Didn’t know you could “twittle” your thumbs.
May 17, 2012 at 7:59 pm rating: 90
#22
The Elf
The first clue to the group’s tone should have been in the name Generation Y (NOT)??!!
May 18, 2012 at 6:24 am rating: 90
#23
Inker
Considering that w(h)elping is something that b*tches do, this note doesn’t surprise me at all.
Reminds me of a series of emails I got once…I have a direct sales business and someone emailed me about joining the business, to which I didn’t reply immediately as I was in the hospital. So when I got back, I found a series of increasingly huffier messages about how I hadn’t replied immediately and if this was my idea of customer service yada yada yada…I simply replied and said I am sorry but was having a operation for cancer. Never got a reply, but I hope this woman really felt like sh*t after that…It’s way too easy to assume that people are not human and don’t have times when they can’t make meetings or reply to emails the same day they get them.
May 18, 2012 at 6:37 am rating: 90
#24
Ashley
Anyone who uses the “word” “welp,” should be fired as a group administrator. Who came up with this crap?
May 18, 2012 at 10:44 am rating: 90
#25
neeneigh
This exact same thing happened to me. Fascist Meetup-ers!
Also, it’s “twiddles”, idiot.
May 18, 2012 at 11:00 am rating: 90
#26
yolanda
Rude, simply rude way of saying it. I understand never making it to meetings. Sure, you want to go, but not “right now” because at this moment, which is when the meeting is planned, you simply are too tire. Too tired to socialize with complete strangers. Too tired to be the new guy in the room. You really want to socialize more, but it’s never at a time when you’re both rested and relaxed as well as have free time. So it never happens.
May 18, 2012 at 11:21 am rating: 90
#27
Lily
If anyone wants to start a “twittling”-thumb meetup group, I’d definitely join. And come to meetings. Wouldn’t want to make anyone *tear!
May 18, 2012 at 2:49 pm rating: 90
#28
Joe Blow
When we first moved to a new city, we joined a Bulldog specific meetup group. The owners expected you to pay them per person attending for “hosting” meetups at free local dog parks that they simply announced using the automated system. Then, when you went, they were total jerks and barely even acknowledged that you were there.
In summary, meetup.com people are weird.
May 18, 2012 at 4:41 pm rating: 90
#29
Toom
I’ve been reading PAN for…two? Three years? And this is the first entry that’s made me wish there wasn’t a policy of blocking writers’ names, because all I want to do now is send “Hey buddy, fuck yooooouuuuu!” over and over again until I die of old age.
May 19, 2012 at 7:30 am rating: 90
#30
Charlie
I get a kick out of people who compress words in their tweet (ie mths for months) in order to conserve on characters, but then throw in superflous stuff like four o’s in “soooo,” three ???’s and so, so many …..’s.
May 19, 2012 at 11:27 am rating: 90
#31
Not Jen
The sad thing is that the note-writer wants to start a career in marketing and promotions (yes, I looked up the Meetup group). Egads.
May 19, 2012 at 2:44 pm rating: 90
#32
Another Jen
So we know it’s not a Grammar Fans Meetup group. Good riddance!
May 20, 2012 at 10:56 am rating: 90
#33
Hannah
Joining a meetup group =/= RSVPing to events.
I’m a member of like 5 or 6 groups and have never attended an event. I haven’t gotten any meetups. Nobody gives a shit.
Bizarre behavior.
May 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm rating: 90
#34
Snoofy
LOL – I joined a few of those meetup groups a while back when I was new to a city. I never ended up going to any of them, even though I kept meaning to, and RSVP’d as a maybe once or twice. Then I forgot about the site. Suddenly began to get all of these PAN emails which made me really glad I steered clear. Thanks for confirming my hunches, meetup groups.
May 27, 2012 at 3:46 am rating: 90
#35
Gybe
I agree with many comments here. This email is a little harsh. But I organize a group on Meetup so I can kind of relate to it. There are so many after years of being a member, still yet to show up. But I’m hoping that someday they will?? What annoys me the most is the ones that RSVP every single time “NO”. Why did you join my group if you can’t come every fricking time?
May 28, 2012 at 3:12 am rating: 90
#36
RubyRuby
I’m going to put serious money on this being a mothers group. I have only ever seen this particular flavor of passive-aggressiveness in groups of mothers of preschool children, but I’ve seen it every single time that I have interacted with this type of group.
Jun 5, 2012 at 10:49 am rating: 90
#37
Anonymous
Meetup.com groups are a goldmine for passive-aggressive emails. I lost count of the number of hosts who out-right demanded that everyone rate the group after one meeting. Maybe because we didn’t want to be rude and tell the whole website that it was boring? One time I left a positive review, and the woman running the meetup changed the entire theme of the group to something annoying. Now, she still uses my positive review for every group she hosts.
Sometimes these groups are a good way to meet cool people, but it’s totally random who will show up and who will be crazy. Also, the crazy ones will try to monopolize the conversation. Pray that the crazy one is not the host.
Jun 18, 2012 at 3:57 pm rating: 90
#38
Carolinguia
I thought the purpose of meetups was to have a standing back-up plan until you got your social life in order, like just after a move or a break up, for example? It is reasonable for me to prefer the freedom to organize my social calendar as I see fit, and to have the freedom to bail and reschedule if I get sick, have an emergency at work, or something way more awesome and fun comes up. Maybe it’s not for me, after all.
Jun 25, 2012 at 11:17 pm rating: 90
#39
jen
I ws booted recently from one for not changing my profile picture.. I was like Really? Whatever. The whole group wasn’t my type of people anyway. Leaves ME open to find a better group.. that isn’t so petty to kick someone out over the fact they haven’t changed a freaking picture. lol
Jun 27, 2012 at 12:34 pm rating: 90
#40
Jessie
So you never showed up to our meetups, which means you must HATE US! And by us, I mean me! And by me, I mean the poor lady whose only problem was that WAHHHH Daddy never loved me! …. and other fine examples of humanity.
Sep 23, 2012 at 12:13 am rating: 90
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