“People steal other people’s food and drink so often in my office that security put up a notice,” says our submitter in Florida. “Apparently, the sign isn’t working.”
Instead, the notes left by the victims have turned into an ongoing office-wide joke.
And the latest contribution…
related: Those heirloom tomatoes had sentimental value!
23 responses so far ↓
#1
Lis
Just to screw w/the offender, I think I would put a new, red Gatorade in the refrigerator, after I ran an imperceptible bead of superglue around the edge of the cap. B)
Aug 6, 2012 at 9:37 pm rating: 90
#2
JK
For a second there, I thought it said that people were stealing food and drinking in the submitter’s office. World’s worst speakeasy.
Aug 6, 2012 at 9:42 pm rating: 90
#3
Captain Hampton
It’s funny because it’s theft!
Aug 6, 2012 at 10:14 pm rating: 90
#4
AussieGuest
Maybe it was a horcrux?
Aug 6, 2012 at 10:29 pm rating: 90
#5
Andrew Price
Ouch. I feel really bad for the notewriter. Being mocked straight after having something stolen is horrible. Nothing would make me want to quit faster.
Aug 7, 2012 at 12:38 am rating: 90
#6
kermit
The Gatorade answers to the name “Wally”?
Well, there’s your problem, man. Any drink that answers when called is bound to get away from you the moment any passing tramp trills its name.
Aug 7, 2012 at 12:39 am rating: 90
#7
andrew
Next day, you go in, take a red gatorade and put in there – when the owner of the previous one thinks it’s been “returned” and decides to drink his delicious boomerang of a drink then leave a note saying “Hey, some jackass stole my red gatorade too!” just to make them feel just as bad.
Although they wouldn’t, because let’s face it – it’s only stealing if someone else does it to you, it’s a joke or “whoops!” if you do it to them.
Aug 7, 2012 at 12:50 am rating: 90
#8
maughta
It’s the fact that our grammarian in the first picture got it so WRONG that’s killing me.
Aug 7, 2012 at 2:14 am rating: 90
#9
ANkh
Missing, Presumed Drunk.
Aug 7, 2012 at 2:15 am rating: 90
#10
AussieGuest
I’d just go around the office singing this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkASCPy5F_o
I’m sure someone would get so sick of me singing that would buy me a new one. Or even several if I threatened to keep singing
Aug 7, 2012 at 3:10 am rating: 90
#11
Thunder McKing
If only we really could sweat red when we drink red Gatorade like in the commercial, then he could pull the fire alarm and figure it out while they all wait outside in the summer heat. Of course, he would have to first determine which ones were bleeding from injuries sustained during the stampede.
Aug 7, 2012 at 9:50 am rating: 90
#12
Nope
Wally the Red Gatorade for President 2012!
Aug 7, 2012 at 10:23 am rating: 90
#13
Eileen
What’s next, name tags for the drinks? Wally Gatorade, meet Millie Milk and Sally Sprite.
Aug 7, 2012 at 4:48 pm rating: 90
#14
Sir Puke
How about a dash of Syrup of Ipecac? Not a lot, just a dash.
Aug 7, 2012 at 5:48 pm rating: 90
#15
Robin
Am I the only person that got the Hanna Barbera Wally Gator joke?
Aug 7, 2012 at 11:09 pm rating: 90
#16
Aussie Guest
I would just go around the office singing this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=payVbK9a6zs
Someone would surely would ‘find’ Wally after I had sung it for 5 days straight right?
Aug 8, 2012 at 2:40 am rating: 90
#17
Aussie Guest
and then I would ‘destroy’ it so I could defeat Lord Voldemort
Aug 8, 2012 at 2:43 am rating: 90
#18
Terri
Public beratings don’t work, because food thieves emerge from a shameless circle of Hell. I used to work somewhere with an unrepentant food thief. After the one time my food was stolen, I took to leaving notes on my food that said things like, “Dear Food Thief, I spit in this. Enjoy! XOXO….” Suffice to say nothing of mine was stolen again.
Aug 19, 2012 at 3:20 pm rating: 90
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