Are we better off now than we were four years ago?

September 11th, 2012 · 44 comments

I never got around to it then, so I figured now was as good of a wibbly wobbly timey wimey as any to take a nostalgic look back at the best-loved notes of 2008. Which one is your favorite?

(Just click any of the images to see the original post with backstory and close-ups.)

Please clear any unused time off the microwave when you are finished.  Some of us have O.C.D. and leftover time drives us crazy.  -Thanks!

Tiffany fed me no thanks to you. Do you want me dead? just feed me to the cat.

Molly's Pet Peive: Drippy Faucets. Please turn them completely off when you are done. Thanks. Julie's pet peeve: spelling errors! If you want me to take you seriously, make an effort! Molly's 2nd pet peeve: having to tell ppl to turn the faucet off in the first place

"Cheers, Mate!" is not an acceptable tip in Texas

Jesus DIED for you. Please silence your cell phone pager for Him before entering. Thank you!

You don't know me...and to be honest I don't think you want to...but there is an issue that I need to address with you...and I'm not gonna be passive-aggressie about it. It has come to my attention that you have taken the white board that I gave Emily!!! And that angers me!!! I am not a child and I don't play childish games so let me put this as simply as I can...don't take shit that doesn't belong to you!!! I am writing this to you telling you to give Emily her shit back before I have to take matters into my own hands and get people involved that don't need to be in this...The next step in this little game is to go to our housing authority and I don't think you really want them to know about your skeeze-ball boyfriend living with you...or having to deal with the penalties and fines that come along with your ignorant acts! So stop being a cunt and give us the board back immediately. Thanks :) Your Secret Admirer

MELBA!!!! Your Letter Upset Your Friend. And For no good reason. Mind Your Own BUISNESS [sic]

katlama require drummer for regular gigging. previous applicants may apply again...except Graham

HELLO LADIES Potluck is on Friday!!!!!! The theme is Mongolia BBQ and I will be bringing ribs and hats if you would like one please let me know. Please sign up below for what you would like to bring. If you don't want to "bring" something but still want to eat potluck then please pay $5 to Casey in Human Resources. Some ideas of what to bring are fortune cookies, paper plates, fruit cups, things with no sugar because some ppl are diabetic, to, shrimp, salad, rice, diet drinks because some people like them to. Some things not to bring are cake and forks because we have some leftovers for the birthday potluck. Please sign below and say what you are going to bring!!!!!!! If you have an idea for a theme please talk to Casey in Human Resources. Thx, Sandra

Hello ladies, This is the last time I will remind you: If you have to

Wishing you a warm and wonderful Christmas. Have a great holiday season + happy wishes for the coming year. Vetta  P.S. please get your garbage off the fire escape

Do not forget to say hello to our special employee of the month Janet G. She may be slow, but she trys.

related: Funniest notes of 2009

PLUS: Some very deserving runners-up…


FILED UNDER: Most Popular Notes · most popular notes of 2008

44 responses so far ↓

  • #1   havingfitz

    I really want some background story on the whole whiteboard thing. Who is Emily? Why would someone steal her whiteboard? And what does the boyfriend have to do with anything???

    Sep 11, 2012 at 3:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Joanne M.

    Oh, the Christmas card wins, hands down!

    Sep 11, 2012 at 3:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Kaz

    “Previous applicants may apply again…..except Graham”


    Sep 11, 2012 at 3:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Ühltje

    Another vote for “except Graham”

    Sep 11, 2012 at 4:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Mishee

    Thx Sandra for the memories!

    Sep 11, 2012 at 4:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Eb

    Most of these are great (“except Graham” is my favorite too), but I don’t find that one about the Mongolian BBQ potluck worthy. The tone is pleasant enough.

    Sep 11, 2012 at 4:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Tesstarosa

      The Mongolian BBQ note may have a “pleasant enough” tone but the writer’s inability to use the proper form of “too” and telling people they can’t bring sweets or regular soda is ridiculous. It’s fine to let people know you’ll be serving the leftover cake so they know there will be a sugary dessert item, but to demand that they not bring something else (like cookies or brownies) is bad form. And, instead of demanding that any soda/beverage brought to share be diet why not request that a combination of regular and diet be brought. Seriously, how many diabetes actually work here? The writer implies they can’t eat sweets (so they won’t eat the cake) and apparently there is no water available to drink in this office.

      Sep 11, 2012 at 4:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   Sheena

      I don’t see any demanding of sugar free stuff, it just sounds like they’re trying to give suggestions of different things to bring. It sounds like you can bring whatever the heck you want except the couple things they already have anyways.
      It look a typical and normal office note to me personally.

      Sep 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   H for Toy

      Did you read the whole backstory and all the comments, Eb? It’s well worth the time :)

      Sep 12, 2012 at 7:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.4   Jami

      @Sheena – It specifically says “Things with no sugar” and basically demands that only diet Coke be brought.

      Sep 12, 2012 at 9:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.5   Sheena

      It says nothing of the sort. It lists diet drinks in their list of *some* ideas of what to bring because “some people like them to[o].” It never says only bring diet drinks, the only thing it says not to bring is the couple items they already have.

      Sep 12, 2012 at 10:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Jami

    “Except Graham” is the best.

    The potluck one just makes me want to bring all sorts of sugar filled treats and drinks. I mean geez, if you know you can’t have it, don’t eat it. Don’t deprive others who might want it.

    I’m allergic to artificial sweeteners, if I worked there does that mean I can get Diet Coke banned from potlucks?

    Sep 11, 2012 at 4:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Edith

    Rainbow Secret Admirer. Having clicked through, apparently the writer WAS Emily, pretending to be some unknown, threatening other person (but still unable to resist the rainbow hearts and changing color font). She sent this and other such notes to her poor roommate all year, because of a missing whiteboard. It’s not passive aggressive, but it’s so batshit crazy it wins all the prizes.

    Betta Fish for runner up, because “Just feed me to the cat” is awesome.

    Sep 11, 2012 at 4:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   kdf

    except Graham. that was a nice one. very subtle.

    Sep 11, 2012 at 5:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Dot

    I think its the clip art that really drives this home. Like the church one, why is that emoticon crying and licking a cell phone? Just crazy

    Sep 11, 2012 at 6:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Jesse

    Extra time on the microwave annoys me too. Is it really that difficult to hit Cancel (or whichever button zeros out the timer) after you’re done using it?

    Sep 11, 2012 at 6:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   The Elf

      The note writer is both lazy and obsessive. It’s a great combo.

      Sep 12, 2012 at 10:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Zorin

      One could argue that it’s just as easy to press “Clear” *before* you start using it. :)

      Sep 13, 2012 at 9:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Ed

    We are far better off than we were four years ago.

    Sep 11, 2012 at 6:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Ed

      Sigh. I intended to reference Garry’s academic epidemic from 2012/06/27, but apparently, links aren’t allowed – not even to this same site.

      Sep 12, 2012 at 5:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Seanette

    I liked the fish. Hope Tiffany wound up with custody. :)

    Sep 11, 2012 at 6:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   Dala

    I loved the ‘Jesus died for you, so shut off your ringer’ sign, with ‘except Graham’ as a runner up.

    Sep 11, 2012 at 7:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   juju_skittles

    It’s like choosing between your children. You’re not supposed to love better than the other – they are different and you love different things about them. PAN has cheered up many a lunch hour for me when I may have otherwise had to have pointless chat with someone like “Thx Sandra” (or God forbid, Graham) and for that, I thank you.

    Sep 11, 2012 at 9:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   The Elf

      Amen. There are so many classics here, it is hard to choose. But like all parents, I have a secret favorite.

      (Pssst. Don’t tell the others that it is you, Thx Sandra.)

      Sep 12, 2012 at 10:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   shepd

    What kind of a toilet can handle poop but not throw up? What can you possibly eat that goes in bigger than it comes out?


    Sep 11, 2012 at 10:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   Rina

    I’m all for the fish one. Hopefully the fish still got life in him.

    Sep 12, 2012 at 2:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   Daniel McBane - Funny Travel Stories

    All I know is don’t touch Emily’s f***in’ white board! And Graham sucks.

    Sep 12, 2012 at 7:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Snicklefritz

      It’s gotta be the fish – but only because he was reading “Lamb – the gospel according to Biff”. That makes him alright in my book.

      Sep 12, 2012 at 8:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   Daniel

    What a bunch of pricks.

    Except Graham.

    Sep 12, 2012 at 8:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   Holly

    LOVING the Doctor Who reference!

    Sep 12, 2012 at 9:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   ddk23

    Now I just want follow up on Emily/the whiteboard, and Sandra’s notes. Did Emily get her whiteboard back…..did Sandra leave any more notes? What did the party hats look like…how much throw up is put in the trash per week at Sandra’s office…..I want to know!

    Sep 12, 2012 at 9:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   Me in NC

    Poor Graham!

    Sep 12, 2012 at 10:03 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   Courteny

    I’m a fan of the one about throwing up in the trash and taking the bag out and throwing it outside. If the lady or ladies in the office are bulemic, I’m sure they don’t want anyone to know they have an eating disorder. That’s why they make an effort to eat in front of their co-workers and then throw it up in the washroom after. Which is why shepd that the vomit is larger than the actually digested poo. Not that I fake eat in front of my co-workers and use the bathroom after…

    Sep 12, 2012 at 10:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   shepd

      Well, that would explain it.

      Still, double disgusting. :) Not that I don’t enjoy disgusting once in a while…

      Sep 12, 2012 at 8:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #24   Pie

    I wonder how poor Casey in Human Resources is doing these days.

    Sep 12, 2012 at 11:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   The Elf

      She is doing just fine in prison after being convicted for the murder of Sandra.

      You see, Sandra’s body was found drowned in a toilet in the womens ladies room, which was overflowing because it just couldn’t handle any big jobs. This disproved the theory that women were scientifically known to be cleaner than men, but at least there was plenty of privacy for the act since men had to use the locked men’s room on the first floor.

      There was some sort of hat shoved in Sandra’s anus, with two rib bones nearby indicating that they were used as some sort of primitive speculum to assist in the hat placement. A $5 bill was found wrapped around each finger. A six pack of “Peaches – No Sugar Added” fruit cups had been stacked ceremoniously on the tank top along with a religious icon, appearing as some sort of offering to a St. Pauline Visintainer, the patron saint of diabetics. An extremely large garbage bag full of “throw-up”, apparantly collected after many months of Friday potlucks, was fascined to her left foot with a staple remover. No one was quite sure whose vomit that was; it is a well-known fact that you can’t dust for vomit.

      Although these details indicated a level of premeditation and unbridled rage that caused the jury to give Casey In Human Resources the harshest possible sentence, short of death, it also gave her enormous street cred in prison.

      Casey now has her own little gang, including several bitches to do her bidding. That’s just how she rolls. Though she will be behind bars for life, she sleeps easily knowing that one PAN menace has been eradicated forever.

      Sep 12, 2012 at 11:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.2   Tesselara

      Reading the comments makes me wonder where the old regulars are like Canthz_b and Claw (the perv)

      Sep 12, 2012 at 11:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.3   H for Toy

      And Timo, too.

      Sep 12, 2012 at 2:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.4   The Elf

      See aforementioned bitches.

      Sep 13, 2012 at 10:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #25   kjdsfakj


    Sep 12, 2012 at 8:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   kjdsfakj

      I love it, and if you have a problem with it, mind your own Booo-iiiiiiiizzz-ness. Also, I’ve been drinking.

      Sep 12, 2012 at 8:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #26   xnamkcor

    Dear Melba,
    Your Letter Was Upsetting.
    Love Your Sauce.

    Sep 28, 2012 at 5:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #27   raichu

    “I’m not gonna be passive-aggressive about it…” *proceeds to write an entire passive-aggressive page*

    Oct 2, 2012 at 9:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #28   mninvt

    except Graham

    Oct 13, 2012 at 10:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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