Sentence structure could use some improvement

October 30th, 2012 · 29 comments

Several months ago, Kenney in Sydney moved in with some new housemates. Last week, he happened to park in a different spot in the driveway. (“We had been asked to not park in the garage as it was used as a gym/personal trainer studio.”)

“The next morning,” he says, “I found this ‘anonymous’ note — despite having just talked with the person responsible, without any mention of their concern.” By way of a response, Kenney decided to give the note the red pen treatment.

Dear Housemate's Please take under consideration that the parking arragement tonight was not Thought out properly we have a garage that one car could go in & instead Driveway looks like a parking lot please think of all housemate's living under this rood not just yourself Thank you. !  12/28 42% A clean document with some folds, sentence structure could use improvement along with grammar. Would love to discuss your results to improve your persuasive letter writing ability! D+

related: I give your passive-aggressive note a C-

FILED UNDER: Australia · most popular notes of 2012 · parking · rebuttals · roommates · spelling and grammar police · Sydney

29 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Kenzie

    Best response I’ve seen in a while!

    Oct 30, 2012 at 7:15 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

  • #2   Greg House

    Great reponse!

    Oct 30, 2012 at 7:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Grammar Popo

    42 is an F, not a D+. Otherwise, hilarious.

    Oct 30, 2012 at 7:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   xxgirlie

      We don’t have F’s in Australia :)

      Oct 30, 2012 at 8:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   lee

      Yes we do.

      Oct 30, 2012 at 9:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   ano

      Depends on where you attend as the F is only a recent addition to Australian marking system as of 2005.

      Scale is:
      F (2005 onwards) or Z or UG (ungraded) or N/A or N for unfortunate university students

      Oct 31, 2012 at 3:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   Kirsten

      I am an Australian primary school teacher, and we don’t have F’s. We have an A – E marking scale. I’m not sure about high schools though. University marks are 1 – 7.

      Nov 3, 2012 at 8:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.5   El Jefe

      How do you spell “fuck” in Australia without F’s?

      Nov 12, 2012 at 9:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Ely North

    This just reminded me that I hated every English teacher I ever had. Except Mr. Beer. He was a pretty cool guy.

    Oct 30, 2012 at 8:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Mark

    It would have been better if the response did not consist of a comma splice and sentence fragments.

    Oct 30, 2012 at 8:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   She

    That reminds me of the time I corrected and returned a response to an online dating ad.

    Oct 30, 2012 at 8:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Sir Puke

      It is tempting to write about the spelling errors.
      Under the section titled “Interests” a lady listed “proper grammer”.
      It’s about 50-50 for a lady to describe herself as a “Women” and not a “Woman”.
      Please don’t get me started on the ad with: “I am so tired of the bar seen.”

      Oct 30, 2012 at 10:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   Kimberly

      A guy I had been texting with confused to/too, of/off and know/now. He also had no use for question marks but liked extra periods. And capitalization? No way! Capitalization is for losers! We no longer text.

      Oct 31, 2012 at 2:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   t-rex

    Best response to this letter would be, “The personal trainer is paying more money per month for use of the garage. If you would like to outbid him for use of the garage, you may. Bidding will start at $400/month EUD added to the monthly bill for rent. If you cannot outbid this, the current contract will stand. Thank you for wasting our time. ~ Housemates.”

    Oct 30, 2012 at 9:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Otterpops

    It does get funny at some point, right? Wake me up for the punchline, thanks!

    Oct 30, 2012 at 10:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Alice

    The response contains a really glaring comma splice. If you were reading it out loud, how would you? As two sentences, or as a single rambling thought? This is why comma splices are evil.

    Oct 30, 2012 at 10:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Polly

    Sorry boys. If your communication is at this sorry level, there’s no hope for a happy house sharing situation. I see a break-up on the horizon.

    Oct 31, 2012 at 12:26 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   tch tch

    Yourself or yourselves? The letter is addressing multiple housemates.

    Oct 31, 2012 at 6:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Mel K bang

      You’ve spotted a typical PAN characteristic. Always start out as if the note applies to everyone in the house/office/dormitory. +10/10

      Oct 31, 2012 at 4:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   oi

    What I am curious about is how did he arrive to the total score of 28?

    Oct 31, 2012 at 8:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Tesselara

      Me too!

      Nov 1, 2012 at 9:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Purr Monster

    I love it, as I myself am an editor!

    Oct 31, 2012 at 9:17 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   Wait..what?

    His response is pretty typical of the way a teacher would grade the page. Sentence fragments. And such, you know?

    Awesome response. Grammar Nazis rule!!

    Oct 31, 2012 at 10:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   HK

    I hate to be such a contrarian—particularly since I myself am an avid fan of grammar—but it seems to me that the note writer makes a reasonable request here. This is an informal note—not an essay or school assignment—so it’s stupid to correct his grammar and return the note to him. Feeling defensive for having been called out on my bad behavior, I would have corrected it, but then kept the letter for myself to look at from time to time to make myself feel bigger, even though I was the transgressor.

    Oct 31, 2012 at 2:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Vulpis

      It’s reasonable to tell someone to park in the garage that they had specifically been asked *not* to park in, due to it being put to a different use?

      Oct 31, 2012 at 6:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   Ajax

      @ HK
      *even though I were the transgressor

      Oct 31, 2012 at 9:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.3   Kupo

      It sounds to me like they’re suggesting that the whole not-using-the-garage thing be re-considered by all of the housemates. Doesn’t sound unreasonable at all to me, though I don’t know the full context. If someone else took the closest spot to the door and now this guy is pissed because he usually gets that spot, maybe it’s passive-aggressive after all. *shrug*

      Oct 31, 2012 at 10:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Bulala

    Is it just me, or did the note writer practice writing the word ‘thought’ in the lower-right corner before adding it to the body of the note?

    Nov 6, 2012 at 4:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   Mark

    If the ‘corrector’ is adding a full stop after “thought out properly”, then the ‘we’ immediately following should be ‘We’. Just sayin….oh and they forgot to capitalise ‘please’ after ‘lot’ also. So would that be an F for the wonderful editor of this note?

    Nov 9, 2012 at 6:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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