Have your people call my people.

November 6th, 2012 · 34 comments

Writes our submitter in Canada: “Of the 12 people living the house, only three do any sort of cleaning or washing up. This was the result of several months of accumulated angst.”

Dear household, I am suck of you discusting [sic] c*nts not washing up after your selfs [sic] you have one day to learn before you find your dirty dishes in bed with you. This includes pots, pans, cups, and tea pots. If you have a problem with that I am happy to discuss. Sincerely, Haarlem  Haarlem, I like the way you think, let's discuss this further. Get your people to call my people and we'll do lunch. Love, Ben

related: I did the dishes. Where’s my cookie?

FILED UNDER: Canada · cleaning · dishes · not-so-veiled threats · rebuttals · roommates · runaway run-on sentences · smartass · spelling and grammar police

34 responses so far ↓

  • #1   TKD

    Wait a minute, why don’t we just have our people do the damned dishes? Isn’t that why they are working for us anyway?

    Nov 6, 2012 at 2:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   SeeYouInTea

    I am with Haarlem (weird name). I do love the censoring of the word “cunts” with a cute little pink heart. Ben is dick.

    Nov 6, 2012 at 2:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Lindsay S.

      That could just as easily (and more believably, given the situation) read “cocks”.

      Nov 6, 2012 at 6:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Slerte

      or “clots”

      Nov 7, 2012 at 1:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   shwo! bang

    8th March 2012: Ben wakes up to find ALL the dirty dishes in his bed.

    Nov 6, 2012 at 3:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   SirenSong

    What’s really telling is what the ‘dirty dishes list’ doesn’t include: silverware, measuring cups, empty-jars-that-you-can-totally-reuse, spatulae…

    Haarlem will continue to wash any and all of those!

    Nov 6, 2012 at 3:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Belinda

    The way I read it, Ben is agreeing with her and is actually asking her out.

    Nov 6, 2012 at 3:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Megan

    I call BS. The handwriting on both notes is the same.

    Nov 6, 2012 at 4:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   SeeYouInTea

      Uh, not they’re not. The Ys, Is, Ls, are all completely different. Everything is not a conspiracy, I promise.

      Nov 6, 2012 at 4:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   redheadwglasses

      Just the first two words of Ben’s note: “I like” show that four of the letters he used are nothing like the same letters written in the other note. (I, L, K, and E are different.)

      I’m not going to bother with the rest of the list.

      use your damn eyes, people

      Nov 7, 2012 at 11:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   onlittlecatfeet

      It’s the same handwriting: ‘Haarlem’, ‘discuss’.
      It’s ALL a conspiracy.

      Nov 7, 2012 at 5:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Dan

    I had a roommate in college that never did the dishes. He went out with his girlfriend one night and when they came back drunk and horny, they found his bed his bed piled with dirty dishes, pots, pans and whatever had been growing in them for the past week.

    Nov 6, 2012 at 4:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   TRT

      Yeah, I saw this done when I was in halls at uni too. It is a very effective method of encouraging people to stop being inconsiderate slobs. If you want to be a slob, get your own space.

      Nov 7, 2012 at 4:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   kermit

      The true sign of a slob is a slob who has their mother trained to come over occasionally and clean up their room and do the dishes for them. That’s true slob dedication!

      Nov 7, 2012 at 4:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   CupKat

      I had a roommate in college who would do that. No joke. There were four of us living there, and when it was her turn that month to clean she’d have her mother over and “ask for help” with her chores (read: watch TV while her mother scrubbed the shower). At first I felt bad for her, but hey, you raised her, lady.

      Nov 7, 2012 at 7:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.4   kermit

      I believe you CupKat; I had a similar room-mate. Parents who raise those kinds of kids don’t have my sympathy either. If they can’t clean up their own shit and make themselves a marginally healthy meal by the time they’re in college, that’s a paddlin’.

      Nov 8, 2012 at 10:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.5   raichu

      Recently I heard a story about a guy who mailed his laundry home when he filled a box of it, and his grandma would wash, iron, fold it and mail it back.

      My mom showed me how to use the washer when I turned 12.

      I weep for humanity.

      Nov 13, 2012 at 11:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Gajic

    All this note made me think of is “jazz hands!”

    Nov 6, 2012 at 4:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Phizzle

    discusting? What are we, 7?
    (also, yes, both notes appear to have the same handwriting.)

    Nov 6, 2012 at 5:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Schroedinger's Cat

      Or – Haarlem being a rather odd/foreign/Dutch name – a non-native speaker *gasp* But no, that wouldn’t be possible of course. Everybody speaks English everywhere.

      Nov 13, 2012 at 2:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Janie

    I think that Ben is one of the other three. That’s impression I got. And it is NOT the same handwriting. Look at the capital letters and the lower-case ys.

    Nov 6, 2012 at 10:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Stupid Non-Name Name

    discusting selfs Haarlem……impossible to take seriously.

    Nov 7, 2012 at 6:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   The Elf

    12 people in one house! It’s just a matter of time before there’s only 6, if you get my drift. I’d serpentine if I were you, Ben.

    Nov 7, 2012 at 9:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Kwyjor

    The correct strategy is to get everyone to agree to chip in to hire a dishwasher. Then, once you’ve hired and paid the dishwasher, everyone will owe you money that they will never pay you.

    Wait, that’s not correct.

    Nov 7, 2012 at 10:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   The Crazed Spruce

      And here I figured the strategy was to get everyone to promise to chip in money they’re never going to pay on an automatic dishwasher that nobody’s going to pitch in to install so they can load it with dirty dishes that nobody’s going to run through.

      Nov 7, 2012 at 11:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   TKD

      Actually Crazed, even if there is an automatic dishwasher, no one will actually put the dishes in it and press the buttons to get the dishes clean. At least that is the way it has worked in any place I’ve lived with an automatic dishwasher. Clearly the best place for dirty dishes is piled in the sink and on the sideboard.

      Nov 7, 2012 at 1:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.3   Ash

      TKD, that’s how my roommates seem to think, except that none of them will ever own up to doing it. There’s a growing pile of dishes by the sink that’s been there for weeks, but if you ask who left them there the answer is always “Not me!” So who was it then? A ghost? Or is someone repeatedly breaking in just to use our dishes and leave them by the sink?

      Nov 7, 2012 at 3:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.4   arschloch

      That’s along the lines of the ex-roommate who swore she was not the one emptying the ice cube trays & putting them back in the freezer, even after I watched her do it.

      And then she’d complain that we never had ice cubes.

      Nov 7, 2012 at 5:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.5   TKD

      Ash, Not Me must sure get around. That is who keeps doing these things at my house. Who left the dishes out? Not Me. Who can’t refill the ice cube trays? Not Me. Who put the toilet paper on the holder backwards? Not Me. Who left this note written in Comic Sans? Not Me.

      Oh if I could only get my hands around Not Me’s throat…

      Nov 8, 2012 at 9:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.6   The Elf

      Don’t forget Not Me’s little sister, Ida Know.

      Nov 8, 2012 at 11:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.7   redheadwglasses

      Ugh. Now you guys just sound like a bad Family Circus panel!

      Nov 8, 2012 at 12:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   meeee

    This photo is so wonky. Part sharp, part clear. Kinda looks fake but I can’t imagine why someone would put forth the effort to photoshop a passive aggressive note so I’m gonna go with wonky camera.

    Nov 8, 2012 at 11:34 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   FeRD bang

      Yeah, I think it suffers from Photoshop effect not in the sense that it’s an altered/faked image, just that it’s showing the damage of far too many image-processing filters. I have a feeling there was quite a bit of “correction” between the original photo and what was submitted. Those pixel halos around the notes’ text and the magnets scream “I was oversharpened! Badly!”

      Nov 23, 2012 at 4:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Squeak

    Both the Haarlems are identical in writing. The ‘y’ is disguised in most of the words but the ‘you’ in both notes is identical.

    And if you don’t think they are the same, then I wish had been the attendance secretary at my high school.

    Nov 27, 2012 at 5:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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