Clarissa in Portland, Oregon dutifully passed along this e-mail from her boss. I normally don’t like to encourage this sort of thing, but, well, ’tis the season for shameless self-promotion. So, uh, take from Mel?
“Seriously, I have their calendar and I love it.” —Melanie, Administrative Projects Coordinator
related: Ceci n’est pas une note passif-agressif
extra credit: The PAN 2013 Page-a-Day Calendar. Seriously.
28 responses so far ↓
#1
infanttyrone
Melanie’s father says please don’t say nothin’ to make her start cryin’ and stay
And the operator says forty cents more for the next three minutes…
Apologies to Dr.Hook
So, if you call & have that nice, long chat with Pops…
are you going to hear a rant about infectious cooties ?
or some gibberish based on a misreading of Atlas Shrugged ?
Nov 23, 2012 at 4:43 pm rating: 90
#2
t-rex
Dear Boss:
Buy a dishwasher. Stainless steel not black.
Nov 23, 2012 at 4:58 pm rating: 90
#3
Poltergeist
Melanie seems like a cool boss. I’m moving to Portland.
Nov 23, 2012 at 5:35 pm rating: 90
#4
Julia
Team Wash Your Own Dishes.
I hate washing dishes as much as anyone else, but it has to be done, it doesn’t take that long, and it’s not that big of a deal. Just do it.
Nov 23, 2012 at 6:05 pm rating: 90
#5
Brian H
Only allow paper plates, plastic utensils, and disposable cups.
If that doesn’t work shut down the kitchen. Pull out the fridge, shut off the faucets, screw down the cabinets and drawers.
If it’s that much of a problem then it doesn’t belong. It’s a business not a dorm.
Nov 23, 2012 at 6:56 pm rating: 90
#6
germangirl
Get TWO dishwashers, obviously. Now you can just move the dishes/cutlery from one into the other – and whenever the ‘used-dirty’ one is full, run it!
Nov 24, 2012 at 1:36 am rating: 90
#7
anonymous
STEPHEN ROOT IS A KLINGON!
Nov 24, 2012 at 10:30 pm rating: 90
#8
Pandora
What if there are only personal dishes and cups, so everything is marked with a name? Then it would be clear whose dishes are dirty.
Yes, it’s childish, but so is not doing your dishes.
Nov 25, 2012 at 12:47 pm rating: 90
#9
OCnative
Am I the only one who ever just throws nasty dishes in the trash? Been there more than two days? Buh bye.
Our office sink tends to stay clean now.
Nov 26, 2012 at 2:36 pm rating: 90
#10
My name is Princess!
Melanie’s last name must be “Malfoy”. “Wait until my father hears about this!”
Nov 27, 2012 at 8:48 am rating: 90
#11
Slerte
Dear Boss,
Hire a cleaner.
Nov 27, 2012 at 12:13 pm rating: 90
#12
Amy in Toronto
I’m one of those odd persons who doesn’t mind doing dishes. In fact, I find it quite cathartic to do them. Ironing, on the other hand, is a task I despise so much that I’d rather be cleaning toilets.
At my workplace, we have a small shared kitchenette. I will often leave my used breakfast bowl and coffee mug to soak for a few hours on the counter until my oatmeal is no longer dried and stuck to the bowl, to make cleaning easier. On many occasions, I have returned to the kitchenette to wash my dishes and found them already washed and sitting on paper towel to dry. I have left notes for this Dish Washing Fairy with offers of Halloween candy and other treats for doing me a favour, but have never met this mysterious person.
In turn, whenever there are dishes left soaking on the counter next to our sink, I pay it forward and just wash them all (it’s usually less than 5 things unless there’s a potluck going on in the office). We tend to have a very civilized office in terms of kitchenette etiquette. On the other hand, our women’s bathroom is on a whole other plane of existence. Apparently, people go primal in there and lose their minds along with all sense of decency. I have no idea why.
Nov 29, 2012 at 1:59 pm rating: 90
#13
Jennifer
Amy in Toronto seems to have the right mindset (and also, the best kind of colleagues). To start with, OP’s weird childhood-stemming zero tolerance for NEVER washing another person’s dish is a little awkward and I think Melanie seems like a little bit of a difficult person for it. I think washing your own dishes should always be the protocol but if there ever are some dishes left from others, I would absolutely and happily wash them, provided that I would be treated to the same kind of flexibility and kindness should I ever happen to leave a cup or porridge bowl in the sink. I think naming your own cups and plates is silly and common sense and consideration for others should make the dish-system work in any office (provided there is nobody there that is really weird about dishes-like Melanie-or never washes them).
Nov 30, 2012 at 7:50 pm rating: 90
#14
Annoyed
Our floor has not one but TWO breakrooms. Someone choses to either wash their dishes in the sink in the ladies room – or they’re bathing in the sink, based on the amount of water they leave on the freakin counter. It’s a POND.
Dec 6, 2012 at 3:18 pm rating: 90
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