Here it is: a look back at your favorite notes of 2012, from heartbroken kids to self-righteous vegans and everywhere in between. (Just click on any of the notes to see the original post, with context.)
But first — drumroll please — our two leading candidates vying for the title of 2012 douchecanoe of the year!
Of course, you could also vote for a third party candidate. Which write-ins are missing from the race? Cast your votes in the comments!
![Mom, Dad I love you but you can't cut my hair if you do I will never forgive you I love my hair and guess you don't love me enough to do what I want for a change [drawings: "my heart," "buckets of my tears"]](http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7170/6607548191_7515f1a65c.jpg "Mom, Dad I love you but you can't cut my hair if you do I will never forgive you I love my hair and guess you don't love me enough to do what I want for a change [drawings: \"my heart,\" \"buckets of my tears\"]")
related: The Most Popular Notes of 2011, including 2011′s Douchecanoe of the Year
68 responses so far ↓
#1
Purr Monster
This is hard! Can we pick two? If so, my choices are Edin “Taken” Coffee rant and Commando who’s Missing his Underwear.
Dec 30, 2012 at 4:58 pm rating: 90
#2
Roto13
I still want to punch that vegan idiot in the face more than I want to take my next breath.
Dec 30, 2012 at 5:00 pm rating: 90
#3
lady
Wow, that first note about the deck is just…wow. The clear winner.
Dec 30, 2012 at 5:01 pm rating: 90
#4
IHAQ
I’m going for the vegan moron, that person needs a kick in the face!
Dec 30, 2012 at 5:05 pm rating: 90
#5
LeeAnn
The obnoxious vegan girl was much more douchecanoe-y than them all. I propose she spend some up close quality time with a proponent of the other side…. like a hungry tiger.
Dec 30, 2012 at 5:08 pm rating: 90
#6
Anne Marie
Obama Milk!
Dec 30, 2012 at 5:13 pm rating: 90
#7
holycrapboredom
The vegan for sure. Aren’t there a couple of posts about how awful she is?
Dec 30, 2012 at 5:14 pm rating: 90
#8
Zen
Ooooo I particularly like the last two. Can’t choose just one though…
Dec 30, 2012 at 5:19 pm rating: 90
#9
Paula
Ohh Emm Gee!!! The letter about the deck is from the world’s largest douche of all history!!!
Dec 30, 2012 at 5:29 pm rating: 90
#10
onlittlecatfeet
Oh, crappy deck is the winner, no question. Apart from the fact that the letter writer is Just. So. Wrong. about everything, he went to so much trouble!
Dec 30, 2012 at 5:39 pm rating: 90
#11
redank
The decaf note with line references from Liam Neeson’s “Taken” was not bad as he/she is applying this threat to coffee. But my vote goes to crappy deck letter.
Dec 30, 2012 at 5:48 pm rating: 90
#12
Yenny
Deck for sure. It was over-the-top mean!
Dec 30, 2012 at 5:51 pm rating: 90
#13
TKD
The deck hating douche-canoe wins.
Dec 30, 2012 at 6:35 pm rating: 90
#14
NonnyMus
It’s hard to decide, but for me, the food donation douche edges out the deck building critic because it’s obvious that the food donation douche has a whole douchebaggy political philosophy.
I also get the impression that the deck critic is a teenager and who wasn’t a douche while in their teenage years?
Dec 30, 2012 at 8:05 pm rating: 90
#15
Jacobi
Hands down, the deck nazi
Dec 30, 2012 at 8:05 pm rating: 90
#16
snatchbeast
Douche deck hater, for sure.
Though who builds octagonal decks?
Dec 30, 2012 at 8:13 pm rating: 90
#17
Ashes
I’m voting for octagonal deck.
Although, I must admit as a Canadian it was tough to pass up what might be my only opportunity to ever vote for Obama.
Dec 30, 2012 at 10:13 pm rating: 90
#18
Rita
I vote for the deck note.
Dec 30, 2012 at 10:19 pm rating: 90
#19
Sir Puke
The donation bozo. He really should be taken down a peg or three.
Dec 30, 2012 at 11:50 pm rating: 90
#20
orogomait
I honestly think the ‘deck letter’ should be disqualified – it seems that the writer is suffering from a mental illness.
Dec 30, 2012 at 11:52 pm rating: 90
#21
Ali Longworth
Deck dick gets my vote.
Dec 31, 2012 at 1:15 am rating: 90
#22
Emily
I like 2nd floor we can see you shagging!
Dec 31, 2012 at 6:12 am rating: 90
#23
The Elf
I see great potential in Buckets of My Tears. One day, she will write the great office fridge manifesto.
Dec 31, 2012 at 6:58 am rating: 90
#24
redheadwglasses
The deck one is my favorite by far. I remain convinced that it was written by a man in the neighborhood who has gotten tired of his own wife nagging him about building a deck as nice as the LW’s deck.
Dec 31, 2012 at 7:30 am rating: 90
#25
notsosaintly
I’m disappointed in both the deck letter and the Obama letter. While the one who wrote the Obama one is fed-up and misguided and doesn’t have a heart, the one who wrote the deck letter is just mean to the core. I vote for the deck-letter asshat.
Dec 31, 2012 at 8:35 am rating: 90
#26
KD
I’m voting for the deck.
Dec 31, 2012 at 8:37 am rating: 90
#27
Fireseeker
I vote for the Deck.
Dec 31, 2012 at 9:40 am rating: 90
#28
JN
This is like Sophie’s Choice. Why must you make me choose?!?!
Dec 31, 2012 at 10:13 am rating: 90
#29
TM
Asshat!
Dec 31, 2012 at 11:33 am rating: 90
#30
Apartment Dweller
GET AN ASHTRAY is hilarious
Dec 31, 2012 at 12:32 pm rating: 90
#31
Audax
Obama milk!
Dec 31, 2012 at 12:53 pm rating: 90
#32
SoupySales
Deck-hater is the PANniest, but I admire the creativity and message of “Get an ashtray.”
Dec 31, 2012 at 1:00 pm rating: 90
#33
Ditka
There are many strong candidates in the race to be sure. (That’s a change, eh?) For me, it’s between the deck-head and the vega-sshole. I think I’m leaning toward the deck-head, but only because of the sheer amount of jerkitude that went into constructing that monstrosity. I just… Yeah. It’s just so mean.
Dec 31, 2012 at 1:04 pm rating: 90
#34
LadyIslay
I like the deck note for the prize. My runner up would be the card from Steve about closing the cupboard because if it came with flowers, that’s just precious and makes me want to go “aww!”. The Obama/Almondmilk note, on the other hand, makes me want to stab someone in the face for their ignorance. The vegan cat thing is not quite so stab-inspiring as it is smack-upside-the-head inducing. It is so awesome that it almost seems fake.
Honourable mentions for the creative use of cigarette butts and dead flies in PA notes.
Dec 31, 2012 at 3:29 pm rating: 90
#35
Lil'
I think the deck guy is d-bag of the year, but I have a write in for second – “Admit it, you hate us.” Remember the witch from the meet-up group? She should get at least an honorable mention.
Dec 31, 2012 at 3:29 pm rating: 90
#36
Dan
I vote for the deck asshole.
I also want to beat the snot out of the vegan cat owner.
Dec 31, 2012 at 4:50 pm rating: 90
#37
Poltergeist
Deck douche takes my vote. I truly hope that the deck builder found out who wrote the note and beat them senseless with a 2×4.
Dec 31, 2012 at 5:06 pm rating: 90
#38
Ace of Space
I vote for the dickless deck douche. End of story.
Dec 31, 2012 at 8:14 pm rating: 90
#39
Kathy Kathy Kathy
The thing about the deck is that the whole neighborhood was filled with the sound of power saws and hammering for a whole year.
Jan 1, 2013 at 6:31 am rating: 90
#40
ShellyB
Obnoxious Vegan Girl. She not only created the problem herself by not doing research and getting a pet that would accommodate her lifestyle, she then used her lifestyle to blame others for her own problem. For someone who supposedly cares about other living creatures, she shows a decided lack of compassion for the cat in question (by refusing to feed it a proper diet) and to the poor soul afflicted with her questionable friendship.
Jan 1, 2013 at 10:30 am rating: 90
#41
BBJ
Oh, it’s so hard. I mean, for pure douchecanoeishness, I think the guy griping at the Boy Scouts about Obama is right up there, but the deck letter is so poetically bizarre.
But the hysterical threats about the stolen underwear just makes me laugh, and laugh and laugh…
Jan 1, 2013 at 3:35 pm rating: 90
#42
evadagbjort
I’m having trouble deciding between Obama’s problem and the vegan for douchecanoe, but I think the charity-hater wins. As for the note on putting decaf in the regular coffee pot, however, that is an evil bloody thing to do and I’d back the note writer on whatever she feels she needs to do.
Jan 1, 2013 at 5:47 pm rating: 90
#43
DaveGI
It’s got to go to the deck hater. He inserted himself into something that was none of his business, and he was wrong about what he said. The deck in question looked great! But beyond that, the sheer amount of vitriol and personal insults he poured into that note raised douchebaggery to new heights.
Vegan-girl was being a douche about a problem she caused herself, but it doesn’t rise to the same level. Plus her douchebaggery was aimed at a friend, who presumably has had other experiences with her in the past. It wasn’t an anonymous attack like the deck letter.
Jan 2, 2013 at 4:06 pm rating: 90
#44
The Elf
These comments are Not Debbie’s.
Jan 2, 2013 at 6:40 pm rating: 90
#45
Kingault
Deck Man for sure.
Jan 2, 2013 at 8:34 pm rating: 90
#46
Merri
The letter about the deck is a masterpiece.
But I’d like to nominate for an honorable mention the note from March 1st about the stolen underwear that ended ‘I am going to sand paper fist f*ck your a**hole. Get ready for a world of pain, motherf*cker.’ – even though they jettisoned ‘passive’ and just went with ‘aggressive’.
Jan 2, 2013 at 9:38 pm rating: 90
#47
prepress goddess
OK, the deck guy, but I **STILL** really like the “Hey I just met you/ and this is crazy/ but blocking our driveway asshat” one… can’t help but laugh every time…
Jan 3, 2013 at 6:28 pm rating: 90
#48
meri
Buckets of tears, please. And may Dad never ‘burn her feelings’, still my favorite PAN of all time.
Jan 3, 2013 at 11:39 pm rating: 90
#49
Jessica
vegan asshole. that poor cat!
Jan 23, 2013 at 6:08 am rating: 90
#50
Mary
Vegan asshole, hands down.
Feb 13, 2013 at 3:59 pm rating: 90
#51
Lease
Vegan girl, hands down, she’s so spectacularly awful, I can barely believe it.
Feb 14, 2013 at 5:28 am rating: 90
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