Point (not) Taken

January 21st, 2013 · 49 comments

David in Nottingham, England says that one of his neighbors has been continually leaving bags of junk in the building’s common area, despite the fact that the communal waste bin is located just a few feet away on the other side of the door.

David says the first (un-photographed) notice said something along the lines of, “Come on man, we’re not animals.” The management company then wrote a letter to all tenants — again, to no avail. Apparently, the only recourse left was to get Liam Neeson on the phone.

I don't know who you are or why you keep leaving bags of crap here, but if you don't stop doing it I will find you, and I will kill you.

Meanwhile, in Allentown, Pennsylvania:

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my package go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will hit you, REALLY hard.

related: Dear Whoever Stole My Amazon Package

FILED UNDER: garbage · most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · Nottingham · shameless meme-mongering · U.K.

49 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Confessions from the Hairdresser

    The first one seems a little extreme.

    Jan 21, 2013 at 1:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   TKD

    Apparently stealing is not as bad a crime as leaving garbage near the bin. Garbage leaving bastards!

    Jan 21, 2013 at 1:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Gretchen

    The way to solve the mystery is to tip the rubbish out, find some of their junk mail, and identify who they are. Then put the rubbish back in the bag, and hang it from their doorknob.

    People too stupid to use a rubbish bin are generally too stupid to remove evidence of their identify from the rubbish they’re dumping.

    Jan 21, 2013 at 1:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   H for Toy

      Do we have to put it back in the bag? Can’t we just pile it in front of the door?

      Jan 21, 2013 at 2:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Dixie Chick

      Yeah, I believe Officer Obie covered this technique in busting Arlo Guthrie in “Alice’s Restaurant”–”Kid, we found your name on an envelope under a half a ton of garbage, and we was wanting to know if you had any information about it for us.”

      Arlo’s reply? “Officer, I cannot tell a lie. I put that envelope under that garbage.”

      Jan 21, 2013 at 2:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   redheadwglasses

      My friend’s friend — a business owner with a small Dumpster — recently found a bunch of garbage in his Dumpster, so much so that he didn’t have room for his business’s trash. He investigated and found that the garbage all belonged to a certain household in another town nearby.

      He called the cops in both towns and found out his rights: He had every right to re-bag the garbage that he’d opened, and to deliver it to the dumper, and she would have no legal recourse against the business owner. So he did that, but of course added other gross stuff — nothing with his name/address on it of course — to help make it more interesting for her. And the cops in her town even showed up when he did this to make sure he was safe.

      And then they issued her a ticket for illegal disposal of garbage on someone else’s property.

      Jan 22, 2013 at 11:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   Walter

      Found “household” trash in our business dumpster, found some mail with an address, took picture with a note about the $1,000 fine for littering, sent to the address, and said that if they did not send me $50, I would turn over the evidence to the police. $50 came the next week. Most unwanted trash at our business is from local condos with their own dumpsters.

      Jan 22, 2013 at 12:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.5   Meaghan

      When I was a teenager I once cleaned out my room and gave my dad like three bags of garbage. Now, he works for a university and puts all our household garbage in their dumpster and they don’t care. But this time, I guess he got freaked out by the amount of garbage I had, and the idea of it sitting in his car all weekend until he went to work on Monday, so he drove into town and put it in some random business’s dumpster. Then I got a very angry phone call from the owner! She had found my mail in the garbage and assumed I had left it there. I had no idea! She threatened to call the police if it wasn’t removed by dark. I called my dad and made him drive over from where he was (an hour’s drive, one-way) to go and retrieve the garbage.

      Feb 1, 2013 at 2:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Roto13

    Taken is like five years old. Can we get a new movie meme now?

    Jan 21, 2013 at 1:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   gti1039

      Taken 2 is only about 5 months old.

      Jan 21, 2013 at 2:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   Jami

      I vote for using Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Though I’m not sure how yet. But we should meme it. If only because Rufus Sewell is hot.

      Jan 21, 2013 at 6:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   The Elf

      Best reason for a meme yet.

      Jan 22, 2013 at 7:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   H for Toy

      Just for you, Jami


      Jan 22, 2013 at 9:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.5   H for Toy bang

      I tried to create a meme just for you, Jami, but the link is taking forever to post here…

      Jan 23, 2013 at 1:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.6   Jami

      Aw, you’re so sweet, H. I’m sure it’ll show up eventually.

      Jan 23, 2013 at 2:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.7   Jami

      Yay! It showed up! Thank you, H! Nothing quite as funny as PAN inside jokes! ;-)

      Jan 24, 2013 at 1:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.8   H for Toy bang

      Right? It’s a meme that really wouldn’t make sense outside of this conversation :)

      Jan 24, 2013 at 5:26 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.9   Jami


      We could make it a thing here on PAN in the spirit of “It was fucking delicious.” Like “I’m Team Notewriter because Rufus Sewell is hot!” Or “Shut up, because Rufus Sewell is hot!”

      Used sparingly, of course. Too much and it would get annoying. Because Rufus Sewell is hot. *winks*

      Jan 24, 2013 at 9:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Smokey

    I feel you have every right to kill those who steal packages!

    Jan 21, 2013 at 2:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   STFUyou

      Yes, it’s pretty F’ed up to steal someone’s Amazon package. They are spawns of satan for doing it.

      Jan 22, 2013 at 6:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Junk Drawer Kathy

    Apt F has really lovely handwriting. Nice and blocky. I love it.

    Jan 21, 2013 at 2:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   ClearlyDemented

    I think in the back of every American’s mind, there’s at least a seed of thought that, if ever we just couldn’t take the prolific rudeness and stupidity of our culture, there’s a safe haven in Europe, where people are civilized. Being that I suck at learning languages, that refuge would have to be England. When I see things like this happening there, it really depresses me. I can only hope this person is a native American (not to be confused with a Native American.)

    Jan 21, 2013 at 2:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Justin

      CLEARLY you have never been to Europe. And I can DEFINITELY tell that you have never been to pretty much every city in Greece or Naples, Italy, where, because of the unreliable nature of their trash services and the general filthiness of the locals, trash lines the waterways and streets, often times in enormous, smelly piles.

      Jan 21, 2013 at 3:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Purr Monster

      Maybe you should visit England and see what the locals are REALLY like!

      P.S. I like Liam Neeson. He lives near me.

      Jan 21, 2013 at 3:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   Pit Pat

      I lived in Ireland for a year, and I couldn’t believe the amount of litter, both in and out of Dublin.

      Jan 21, 2013 at 4:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.4   ClearlyDemented

      Well, thanks for crushing the little that was left of my dreams, folks. I actually have been to England, but only for three weeks. I guess those accents have just fooled me into believing they’re move evolved.

      Jan 21, 2013 at 11:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.5   dizit

      Dear Clearly,
      There exist places even IN the USA where the streets and public places are clean as well as lovingly cared for by the inhabitants. True, most of these places are well off the beaten path and usually not heavily populated. If you don’t have to work in a city or large town, find yourself one of these little pieces of paradise and live the life you so apparently want to live.

      Jan 22, 2013 at 12:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.6   ClearlyDemented

      Not really about the cleanliness, more about the disrespect of other around you. I live in a fairly clean city and hail from a fairly dirty city. But in both places, there are people who leave their shopping carts wherever they’ve decided they’re done with them. I don’t think moving to the country is what I’m looking for; I’d bet there’s a lot of orphan shopping carts in those parking lots as well.

      Jan 22, 2013 at 7:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.7   Jessi

      @Clearly, people are assholes all over the planet. Also, your initial post confuses me. Why would someone born and raised in the U.S. but with roots in, say, India be thinking, “Ah, at least there’s always Europe!”

      I know this is an assumption on my part, but are you of white European ancestry by any chance?

      Jan 23, 2013 at 4:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   bob loblaw

    I once posted a note like that from Apt F when I thought someone had stolen my Amazon Box.

    Shortly thereafter one of my neighbours brought it over — seems the courier guy left it there when I wasn’t home.

    So it might be all so Liam Neesony to go off the fucking deep end on this, but you can end up looking like an areshole.

    Jan 21, 2013 at 3:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   dizit

      I’d have assumed that, before writing the letter, Apt. F (or rather the person who inhabits Apt. F) would have checked with the neighbors to see if the postal people had, indeed, left it in someone’s care…but then, maybe that’s just the way I think, and the occupier of Apt. F, having spent “a long career” acquiring the skills necessary to seriously harm the assumed perp had suffered one or two too many blows to the head and is no longer able to think clearly.

      Jan 22, 2013 at 12:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   Nobody You Know

      It wasn’t a long career, it was a long “carrer.”

      Jan 22, 2013 at 7:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Pasty

    Wait, stop. Cornish pasty? Whoever is leaving their trash in the hall has FUCKING GOOD TASTE.

    Team trash-leaver. All the fucking way. I would murder someone for a cornish pasty. Totally.

    Jan 22, 2013 at 3:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Pasty

      Then again, I may or may not be completely drunk out of my mind right now. But still, pasties sound delicious, and I wish I had one.

      Jan 22, 2013 at 3:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   The Elf

      Damn it, now I’m craving rutabaga.

      Jan 25, 2013 at 9:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.3   MamaPajama

      Cornish pasties — something worn by Cornish strippers?

      Jan 25, 2013 at 10:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   PowerPaw

    It’s the “hit you really hard” part that makes the second one gold. Love it.

    Jan 22, 2013 at 10:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   nurgleth

    I don’t understand how that amazon thing could happen. Where I live (Berlin), you’re not allowed to just leave the package on the doorstep unless the receiver has specifically agreed for it to be left at that specific place. So really, if it got stolen from there: your own fault. But afaik Amazon doesn’t even allow for either option, they only allow for the package to be directly delivered to you, with your signature.

    Jan 22, 2013 at 6:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Lenny!

      Well here in the States it’s a tad bit different for us folks. Depending on the type of delivery service Amazon uses (UPS or the US postal service is usually the case), they will just leave it wherever the fuck they want no matter if you answer or not. Luckily for my neighborhood UPS guy, he waits a tad longer than normal delivery guys do and if we’re not home, he tries to hide it in a place where no one can see it from the street.

      Jan 22, 2013 at 7:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   YersiniaP

      Here in Austria, they’re not allowed to leave the package without getting your signature either. If you’re not home, they’re supposed to leave you a note to come and pick it up at the post office.
      That doesn’t mean they don’t sometimes leave it on the doorstep (of my ~house~, not apartment!) on the main street of my small town, or stick one corner of it awkwardly into the slot of my mailbox because, I assume, they are to lazy to find the preprinted note.

      I finally made an arrangement with the ladies who work at the bakery next door, and stuck a note on my mailbox to leave all packages at the bakery.
      Now the regular mailman at least leaves my bulkier mail there, but the guys who help out during summer apparently cannot read a note or follow their company’s guidelines.

      Anyway, long rant short, I did have packages disappear form the steps, of course, but Amazon always sent them a second time, after checking with the postal service if the package had been properly delivered. You know, with signature and all.

      Jan 23, 2013 at 6:15 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   nurgleth

      @Lenny!: But isn’t that against the law or something? D: I can’t imagine your stuff is not protected at all from lazy delivery guys, that’s horrible!

      @YersiniaP: Yeah, before I posted I checked with google to make sure I wasn’t talking shit and apparently there are many people who have their packages left at the doorstep. Scary!
      But in that case I’d be more mad at the delivery guy than at the person stealing it, because it was his responsibility to safely deliver it to me. “Opportunity makes the thief” and all that.

      Jan 23, 2013 at 7:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   TRT

      @YersiniaP. That’s using your loaf.

      Jan 23, 2013 at 8:26 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.5   PowerPaw

      As far as I know, in the states, Amazon only requires a signature in specific situations. I think I’ve only had to sign for items worth over $50 that are also electronic items. Personally, I hate the signature business because UPS, FedEx, and USPS are all incapable of ringing my doorbell or knocking. They simply walk up, slap the “couldn’t deliver” note on my door and walk away. So every time I either have to have my husband watch like a hawk (since he works from home) and run after them, or I have to wait an extra day for delivery. Which, regardless, means it gets dropped on my doorstep like it would have been if I didn’t have to sign (they just pick up my signed piece of paper and drop the package off). I’d rather just skip the signature hassle. I’ve never had a problem of a stolen package, personally. And if neither of us worked from home? Every single have-to-sign package would always have to wait an extra day because nobody would be there. Just not worth the signature business.

      Jan 23, 2013 at 11:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.6   nurgleth

      Huh. I could understand if it’s something you need really quick, but everything else I’d rather have to sign and wait for a day than risk it getting stolen. (Also I’m not sure I understand, you leave your signature outside so the delivery guy can pick it up and leave your package on the doorstep? That sounds so odd to me, haha.)

      Like if a friend sent me a package with personal stuff, that couldn’t simply get replaced, right? Also if stuff from say amazon gets stolen it would be even more of a hassle to try and get them to re-sent the item than to simply wait a day.

      For packages you need very quick we have package stations, you can ask for your packages to be delivered there and simply pick it up any time you want. So here there really is no need to take that risk willingly.

      Buuuut I guess I’m just being a very stereotypical German right now *cough*.

      Jan 23, 2013 at 7:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.7   Risha

      @nurgleth – It all depends on if you’re using USPS or one of the delivery companies, and the options that the sender uses.

      Generally speaking, any of them will attempt to deliver a package, and then depending on those options, either leave it or leave a sticky note on your door. Depending on the options presented on the note in turn, you may be able to sign that sticky and have them leave the package anyway. Otherwise they’ll try to deliver one or two more times.

      After that and/or after the delivery truck gets back to their warehouse, you can pick it up yourself. Of course, that’s generally during business hours, meaning I need to leave work early and drive all the way across the city. I don’t usually have the time and money to skip a couple of hours of work on the off chance someone decides to steal a $10 tee shirt I ordered.

      Jan 23, 2013 at 10:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.8   ano

      Some Posties are just lazy.

      I was expecting a new tablet once. It was express post, to be signed on delivery and if no-one was there to take it to the post office for pick up.

      Unfortunately the postman who does our area of the town is incredably lazy. I even caught him at it once. He will walk up to your door, put the pack age on the doorstep, fill out the form saying no-one answered the door and leave.

      Long and short of it, I was at home all day waiting for my tablet and he just left it on my doorstep in full view of the street. It’s a good thing I was going to get my true mail and saw it there. I was so angry, because it had all the signs on it saying it was a sign on delivery or if no-one there, to take it to the post office. Y’know, so it’s not at risk of being stolen.

      (a drawing tablet. That i needed to use to complete paid artwork for.)

      Jan 25, 2013 at 12:34 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.9   The Elf

      At least he left it. Sometimes, that is the best solution. Depends on where you live and the liklihood of it being swiped.

      We had a problem – multiple times now – where the FedEx driver SAID no one was home, but in reality he just didn’t bother. This was sign on delivery stuff. The first time it happened, my husband found the “no one was home” sticker on the door (which was true) and called me. I stopped by the distribution place on the way home from work, but the driver was still out so I couldn’t get the package. Fine, that’s totally understandable. So I spoke to the manager and he assured me that the driver would be by tomorrow. Then I spoke with my husband, and he made arrangements to take the day off work. He didn’t leave the house all day and made sure he was in a place where he could hear the door knock. Then I came home, and together we spent the rest of the evening waiting for this package. At 8pm, I finally called the distribution center. They said the driver attempted to deliver it, but couldn’t because no one was home. Oh really?

      The first time was bad enough, but it’s happened two more times since then, each time with us arranging to be home on the delivery day and the driver saying “no one was home”. This only occured with FedEx. The UPS delivery man and the Post Office mailman always seem to be able to make the delivery. Ours is a quiet street with lots of elderly retirees. Funny how no one saw a FedEx truck on the street those day. Funny how we didn’t hear a door knock, despite literally waiting by the door. Yet, “no one was home”. Riiiiiight. If you can’t make the delivery, that’s fine. I don’t mind having to go pick it up from the center. But don’t lie to me about it!

      And this is why I use UPS these days, if possible.

      Jan 25, 2013 at 9:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   redheadwglasses

    I used to take packages in front of people’s condo doors (secured building with only 17 units) because other owners in the building would steal them! I figured, at least if *I* take it, I know I’ll get it to the person when he gets home.

    Jan 23, 2013 at 11:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Anonymous

    I knew a guy who took a package off of someone’s porch. It was stamped with Apple and contained a new Ipod inside. Of course, he blamed Apple for labeling their boxes, the delivery guy for leaving it, and the owner for not picking it up quickly enough. He blamed everyone else for the “temptation” that caused him to steal this item.

    It’s amazing that there are people like this out in the world…

    Jan 23, 2013 at 8:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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