Our submitter in Fort Collins, Colorado was a bit taken aback at the site of this local business’s breakroom. “The level of commitment dedicared to naming and creating backstories for the appliances was…mindboggling,” she says.
Indeed, my mind has been boggled.
![Hello! We are the [redacted] break room appliances provided by [redacted] and we would like to introduce ourselves. Hello, I'm Mike the Microwave and I am the newest appliance to join the [redacted] Break Room team, replacing Monroe who retired. Hey there, my name is Collin and I'm the Coffee Machine. Howdy, Dante the Dishwasher here! Hi, I'm the big guy in the corner, Ramone the Refrigerator. Most of us have been here for a long time and we are thankful that [redacted] has provided us for your convenience and use. However since we are aging, we need a bit more TLC so each of us has written a little synopsis of how you can help us maintain our integrity and continue to work as best we can. We appreciate you being considerate of all persons who wish to use us. Thanks and please HELP us with our individual needs.](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5465/9134893369_ea7d70a06d.jpg "Hello! We are the [redacted] break room appliances provided by [redacted] and we would like to introduce ourselves. Hello, I'm Mike the Microwave and I am the newest appliance to join the [redacted] Break Room team, replacing Monroe who retired. Hey there, my name is Collin and I'm the Coffee Machine. Howdy, Dante the Dishwasher here! Hi, I'm the big guy in the corner, Ramone the Refrigerator. Most of us have been here for a long time and we are thankful that [redacted] has provided us for your convenience and use. However since we are aging, we need a bit more TLC so each of us has written a little synopsis of how you can help us maintain our integrity and continue to work as best we can. We appreciate you being considerate of all persons who wish to use us. Thanks and please HELP us with our individual needs.")
related: The Needy Little Dishwasher
93 responses so far ↓
#1
zenvelo
I had something smart ass to say, but Connie the Computer said, “no fucking way!”
Jun 25, 2013 at 6:00 pm rating: 90
#2
Geek Goddess
So where is the comment from Ramone the Refrigerator? And why do I think that he is some kind of kitchen enforcer?
Jun 25, 2013 at 6:11 pm rating: 90
#3
Kristy
I can’t be the only person who finds the appliances individual personalities adorable (if not just a bit excessive)
Jun 25, 2013 at 6:11 pm rating: 92
#4
Beatus Mongous
Those are some ugly cabinets.
And a toaster oven with a paper towel underneath it is a fire hazard.
Jun 25, 2013 at 6:18 pm rating: 90
#5
Beatus Mongous
Nice rack, Dante.
Jun 25, 2013 at 6:22 pm rating: 91
#6
Kyle
I find 5 pages of that font to be even more annoying than 5 pages of Comic Sans, yet I too feel incomplete without knowing all that Ramone has to say.
Jun 25, 2013 at 6:24 pm rating: 90
#7
Milhouse
So, what, the toaster oven doesn’t get a name??
I smell lawsuit.
Jun 25, 2013 at 6:30 pm rating: 90
#8
hoot toot
The fact that the microwave’s name was changed makes me suspect that this is more than just PA break room drama … at least one person in this office is very fond of these characters. I wouldn’t be surprised to find comic strips featuring the appliances hiding out in their cubicle somewhere.
Jun 25, 2013 at 6:30 pm rating: 90
#9
Rene
What the shit?
Jun 25, 2013 at 6:30 pm rating: 90
#10
Beatus Mongous
Someone should replace Ramone’s sheet with the lyrics from Frig-O-Rator by Roq’in Zoo.
Jun 25, 2013 at 6:33 pm rating: 90
#11
FeRD
Boggled?!? My mind has been frickin’ Troubled, by the depths of this Trivial Pursuit.
Jun 25, 2013 at 6:38 pm rating: 90
#12
Nublet
Why do offices even have dishwashers? I have never figured this one out. One person, one plate, one fork, spoon, mug. I think you can handle that much in the sink, right? I guess not, seeing all the notes in all these offices. But why make it even MORE complicated with a dishwasher?
Jun 25, 2013 at 6:47 pm rating: 90
#13
ElleDubs
They need stickers ala http://laughingsquid.com/wp-content/uploads/Fridge-Monster-Stickers.jpeg
Jun 25, 2013 at 6:53 pm rating: 90
#14
redheadwglasses
TLDR.
Jun 25, 2013 at 7:08 pm rating: 90
#15
Nunavut Guy
Not sure how much the person who wrote these notes gets paid,but I think the time spent writing these probably cost the company a couple of hundred bucks in lost time.
Jun 25, 2013 at 7:50 pm rating: 90
#16
Poltergeist
Retired my ass. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO WITH MONROE?!
Jun 25, 2013 at 8:24 pm rating: 90
#17
weed store
lol do they work at the weed store selling weed
Jun 25, 2013 at 11:33 pm rating: 90
#18
Ziaheart
I’m a bit surprised that Mike is the new addition replacing Monroe. I would have thought that Mike would have been the first choice of name for a microwave, rather than Monroe.
Jun 26, 2013 at 12:27 am rating: 90
#19
anna P
someone please explain to me the point of cleaning your dish that’s already clear of extra food before putting it in the dishwasher?
Jun 26, 2013 at 2:17 am rating: 90
#20
micky44
Why are all the appliance names Masculine?
Jun 26, 2013 at 6:57 am rating: 90
#21
The Elf
Depending on the office in question, the office break room can either be a heavenly delight, a purgatory where you wait our your sentence of heating your lunch chatting with people you’d rather not know, no-man’s land, or the ninth circle of hell.
Dante, you are appropriately named.
Jun 26, 2013 at 7:05 am rating: 91
#22
Erin
I can’t tell if I’m charmed or horribly depressed but this was a great way to start my morning.
Love,
Erin (Dictated via Katie the Keyboard)
Jun 26, 2013 at 9:38 am rating: 90
#23
Dane Zeller
So…do I have to read all of these notes?
Jun 26, 2013 at 11:38 am rating: 90
#24
yolanda
Black marker on each sign: “TLDR”
What is this, a little light reading with your lunch?
Jun 26, 2013 at 11:48 am rating: 90
#25
Gina
All I can say is I’m glad that’s not my break room.
Jun 26, 2013 at 1:22 pm rating: 90
#26
Frank Chickens
I showed this to my android Marvin. He just gave me a withering look and sighed.
Jun 26, 2013 at 1:55 pm rating: 90
#27
Jaylemieux
It would be nice if people didn’t need this level of instruction to take care of others’ property, but that’s not the world we live in. Woo notewriter!
Jun 26, 2013 at 5:07 pm rating: 90
#28
kacky
If I was their boss, I would be pissed that someone wrote all of that on company time.
Jun 26, 2013 at 6:20 pm rating: 90
#29
lucky henry
“sight”, not “site”.
Jun 26, 2013 at 8:02 pm rating: 90
#30
The Elf
Hello! I’m Knut the Knife, and I’m great at helping you serve a birthday cake! But you need to treat me right and wash me immediately afterwards OR I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU. Thanks!
XXXOOO,
Knut
Jun 27, 2013 at 11:43 am rating: 90
#31
Nope
Sigh. Doesn’t rinsing off dishes in the sink you know, kinda defeat the whole purpose of having a dishwasher? If I wanted to do that, I could just wash the dishes by hand. It’d be the same thing more or less. The point of a dishwasher is to clean dirty dishes not to further clean ones which are already clean. Do you rinse your clothes before you put them in the washing machine? No of course not, because that’d be ridiculous, just like cleaning dishes before putting them in the dishwasher is. And if you’re concerned about stuck on food, either get people to put their dishes in sooner or just throw the dishes away and buy new ones. Or better yet get paper plates or the like. It’s not worth the effort to try to clean stuck on food.
Jun 27, 2013 at 12:19 pm rating: 90
#32
47of74
THX Sandra strikes again?
Jun 28, 2013 at 10:48 pm rating: 90
#33
Raichu
Wow, those are obnoxious.
Also it makes me sad that people need to be told things like “wipe down the microwave if you make a mess” and “rinse gunk off your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher”. Does nobody learn these things growing up?
Jun 30, 2013 at 11:02 am rating: 90
#34
Stephanie
People in my office can’t remember to refill the paper towel dispenser and wiping the microwave turntable also seems too taxing for them. I don’t blame this office for these reminders, but they’re so wordy, no one’s going to take the time to read that!
Jul 3, 2013 at 5:14 pm rating: 90
#35
The Elf
When did taking pictures of passive aggressive notes become “wildlife photography”? Spam more appropriately next time!
Jul 17, 2013 at 6:40 am rating: 90
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