A Dance Mom Intervention

August 15th, 2013 · 59 comments

I have to give Kim’s daughter credit here for saying what most TLC/Lifetime viewers are shouting at their television screens while watching the antics of the “Momagers” behind all those would-be dancers/ice skaters/gymnasts/pageant queens. I’m with you, kid!

My mom loves dance I don't. My mom should do it instead of me if she likes it so much.

I don't even like dancing. I'm just here because my mom said she would buy me tacos.

related: Never put nature aside for television

FILED UNDER: kids · most popular notes of 2013 · Mother-daughter notes

59 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Eliavy

    Nothing like living through your daughter. Poor kid.

    Aug 15, 2013 at 12:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   The Elf

      For some of the worst “Momagers”, I’d love to be a fly on the wall when the kid finally stands up to Mom and says that she isn’t going to do whatever anymore. The Mom will be crushed! How can her life possibly have meaning anymore?!

      Of course, I’m also eagerly awaiting the inevitable Dugger tell-all from the black-sheep kid (a gay atheist or a lesbian pagan, of course) who hitch-hiked to New York City to be an artist. I just like to see people get their come-uppance.

      Unless it’s me.

      Aug 15, 2013 at 7:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   H for Toy

      I’m sure when the kid finally does, the cameras will be there. That’s ratings stuff right there.

      Aug 15, 2013 at 7:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Snicklefritz

      Elf – I’d love to see one of those Dugger kids wearing something besides khakis/skirts and Polos – perhaps a belly shirt, some piercings or an emo haircut would make those kids a little more believable. Instead they’re like a miniature version of the Stepford wives.

      I’d hate to see your come uppance as well. The earth might just spin off it’s axis and we’d be hurtled into the sun. Who knows – it could happen.

      Aug 15, 2013 at 9:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.4   FeatherBlade

      Hey now, real people wear khaki…

      …I’m sure of it.

      Besides, not everybody has to rebel against their family culture. Some people (and I suspect the Duggars fit into this category – don’t know for sure, never watched the show) get their kicks from rebelling against the typical images of rebelliousness. ^_^

      Aug 15, 2013 at 10:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.5   tpgal

      I wouldn’t count the Duggars in the same category as Dance Mom or even Kate +… I certainly don’t agree with their decision to have so many children, but they have resources beyond their tv show to meet their needs and they seem to have a loving relationship with each other. I have all confidence that when (or if) it comes to light that one of their kids or grand-kids is gay or a *gasp* Democrat that they would respond with the same grace they seem to show about everything else. Their religious beliefs carry them through, and they don’t preach to others in a negative way. They aren’t my kind of people, but I respect them.

      Aug 15, 2013 at 11:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.6   The Elf

      With that many kids, statistically, there’s gonna be a rebel. I do not share your confidence about how such rebellion would be received.

      Aug 15, 2013 at 1:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.7   Snicklefritz

      tpgal – perfectly valid points, but I think you missed mine – I wasn’t denigrating their choices lifestyle or questioning their devotion to their faith or their children. That’s the wonderful thing about this country- you can do, be, worship whatever you choose to. You may be judged, but you can still do it (within the confines of the law). My point is that I want to see one of those kids come home with a piercing, a tramp stamp, or starts listening to death metal, (do kids still listen to that? ) or perhaps watches something that isn’t entirely “wholesome”.
      I think it would be fuckin hilarious.

      Aug 15, 2013 at 2:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.8   redheadwglasses

      I have two friends, married, Penn State grads, heads of alumni associations, they live and breathe Penn State.

      When I hold one of their babies, I coo “Ohio State! michigan! TRADE SCHOOL!”

      Aug 15, 2013 at 9:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.9   Jami

      With the Duggers the kid doesn’t have to be atheist, gay, or get a tattoo to rebel.

      If it’s one of the girls, all she has to do is cut her hair shorter. The girls currently all have long hair “because dad likes long hair on women.”

      Any of the children could start using credit cards – the Duggars don’t use them at all. They pay for everything in full or they don’t buy it. And they find ways to save money.

      Any of the kids could refuse to have children of their own or only have one child and declare that one’s enough. Or just refuse to even get married.

      My mom watches that show. Along with several others I wish would be cancelled for the sake of my sanity.

      Aug 15, 2013 at 9:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.10   H for Toy

      My husband likes long hair on girls too, but my two little girls have short-ish hair. He doesn’t have to deal with the scream-fest every morning, so his opinion is worth zilch!

      Aug 15, 2013 at 10:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.11   Lil'

      I would love to see an episode where one of the girls walks in wearing a pair of pants and the family falls silent before falling to their knees in prayer.

      Aug 16, 2013 at 7:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.12   Jami

      Anyone other than me like to sometimes, when work is slow, daydream about meeting the Duggars and when they start getting nosy about kids and stuff telling them you see kids as a curse and that marriage is a waste of time and freedom? Just me?

      I also like to imagine being a judge on Toddlers & Tiaras and writing down “Parent dressed child like a $2 hooker. Parent needs to be investigated by CPS.”

      And I don’t even watch this crap!

      Aug 18, 2013 at 6:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   susan

    Mad props for the duckface she drew! It really helps accentuate the passive-aggressiveness of the note.

    Aug 15, 2013 at 6:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   H for Toy

    Of course, we don’t know the whole story behind this. This mom may be like my parents. If any of us decided to take up a class, we had to finish the entire year/semester/season. We were never allowed to drop out part way through. I think finishing what you start is a good lesson to learn. Or, she just may be a “Momager.”

    Aug 15, 2013 at 7:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   clarf

      God I wish my parents had done that. I still can’t finish anything. I don’t understand how people get themselves to do it.

      Aug 17, 2013 at 1:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   BarlowGirl

      Yeah, one of the friends of the kid I baby-sit did dance and by the end of the year/season/whatever you call it with dance, she was sick of it and threw a fit when her mother made her go to a competition to support her team, even though she wasn’t competing. (Which I agree with. It’s good sportsmanship.)

      The kid I baby-sit was also pretty fully ready to be done skating, too, I think. (She did Mondays and Fridays skating until five from… probably either October or November to March and then March-April was spring school so she was skating everyday from 3:30 to 5.) It might be a thing that a kid really likes, but that doesn’t mean it’s not hard or long and the day where they missed a playdate because of a competition and then threw a fit probably isn’t the best day to reevaluate that specific sport/activity :P

      Aug 18, 2013 at 7:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   H for Toy

      My mom actually gave me the option to quit taking piano lessons part of the way through one year, when I was 5. She said all I had to do was call my teacher, and explain to her why I didn’t want to play any longer (my explanation was that I didn’t feel like practicing). I didn’t want to call, and I got over it a couple hours later. I took lessons until I graduated from high school.

      Aug 18, 2013 at 5:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   spacenomyous

    unless mom really doesn’t love it and is subjecting her daughter to the same treatment she received when the mom was her age.

    Aug 15, 2013 at 8:11 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   mememe

    Excellent – a model of wise and assertive communication, neither passive nor aggressive.

    Aug 15, 2013 at 9:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Neeners

      Too bad the mom probably won’t pay any attention.

      Aug 15, 2013 at 11:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Roto13

    Nothing in this note leads me to believe the situation’s any different from all of those parents who make their kids take piano lessons.

    Aug 15, 2013 at 10:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Raichu

      In this situation it’s probably not, but I would still love to see one of those poor lived-through children write a note just like this for their mom.

      Aug 15, 2013 at 11:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   jazzgirl205

      Dance lessons at a young age, particularly ballet, help a child move more gracefully and be aware of their body and how it moves. Piano lessons contribute to logical and mathematical thought. It’s not about living through one’s child – it’s about civilizing them.

      If I wanted to live through my dd, I’d have taken her to jazz clubs and have given her torch singing lessons :^)

      Aug 16, 2013 at 7:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   chickey_soup

      Meh. I took ballet, classical hardcore ballet, for 13 years. I was a very graceful dancer. Not dancing I am the clumsiest m-fer you will ever meet. Sure I look graceful when I walk and have good posture but it did nothing to keep me from falling over, tripping on stuff and having walls jump in front of me all the time. It’s a really expensive activity.

      If the plan with dance is to teach grace and body awareness, you’d be better off and richer just to sign the kid up for pretty much any kind of sport.

      Aug 16, 2013 at 2:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.4   redheadwglasses

      I don’t think dance or sports has much to do with it. I’m an excellent athlete, played Division I college softball, lettered in numerous sports, etc.

      And right now I have three huge bruises on my body from running into things. One on each arm (I ran into two car side view mirrors) and one on my stomach (I actually ran into a planter outside a restaurant).

      Yeah, I’ll throw your sorry ass out at first base from centerfield. THen I’ll fall down and chip a tooth.

      Aug 16, 2013 at 3:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.5   Nunavut Guy

      Nice one Red;

      I was always the smallest guy on the team.Made first string on everything I tried (except football…..what a complicated game).I could still rugby tackle a 250 pounder but I can’t play poker without a cheat sheet.

      Concussions really add up.

      Aug 17, 2013 at 8:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.6   Jeanette

      Another clumsy former-ballerina here!

      What dance lessons DO teach you is responsibility and dedication. What they used to teach you was manners as well and how to present yourself. It’s much like sportmenship learned from team sports, but for those of us who can’t throw a ball and don’t care.

      Aug 18, 2013 at 10:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Neeners

    Her mom looks like a blond Angelina Jolie with those full lips. Maybe if her mom had as many kids as Brangelina – her daughter could catch a break. Too many kids to fixate on, she’d be too busy counting them all and making sure they all made it into the car or something.

    Aug 15, 2013 at 11:22 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   H for Toy

      She reminds me a little of the evil substitute teacher from “Miss Nelson is Missing” actually.

      Aug 15, 2013 at 11:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Jami

      But the evil substitute was Miss Nelson in disguise.

      Aug 15, 2013 at 9:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   H for Toy

      Sssh! That was a secret!

      Aug 15, 2013 at 10:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.4   Jami

      Hey, anyone who’s seen Reading Rainbow knows this. It’s about as much of a spoiler at this point as the twist in The Crying Game.

      Aug 15, 2013 at 11:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Ely North

    Hey kid, your mom is hot. What’s her number? You want a little sister?

    Aug 15, 2013 at 11:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   redheadwglasses

      This made me laugh out loud!

      Aug 15, 2013 at 9:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   good night sms bang

    hi cutee, u must follow your mom

    Aug 15, 2013 at 2:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Tuna Tabor

    My parents kept signing me up for swim classes, and I kept failing…. Until they BANNED ME from the pool because my mom screamed at them for failing her baby.

    Looking back, I realize the instructors were terrible and the kids who passed basically already knew how to swim, and my mom was right…. But from that time on, when she signed me up for any lessons, I ran away after she dropped me off. Having never showed, they assumed I had cancelled. Hee hee.

    Aug 15, 2013 at 2:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   JK

      Did you ever learn to swim?

      Aug 21, 2013 at 9:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Quite Contrary

    Does Kim realize her daughter wrote this about her?

    Aug 15, 2013 at 3:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Iwill FindU

    Man I could have never written this note as a kid, all the clubs my mom signed me up for she was a committed long time leader already. So it was more of I don’t care if you hate this club, I’ve committed to this and I’m dragging you along.

    Aug 15, 2013 at 5:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   redheadwglasses

    “Dance” seems to be more popular than ever these days, so I know quite a few dance moms. I copied and pasted the picture into an email and sent it around today. I got some half-joking, half-defensive responses.

    Aug 15, 2013 at 9:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Chinchillazilla

      Keep up the good work.

      Aug 15, 2013 at 11:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   The Elf

      And send in the PA ones!

      I danced as a kid. Loads of fun. But we didn’t have any “Dance Moms”. I mean, there’ll always be somebody who live through their children, but it didn’t seem like a trend like it is now.

      I think the “Dance Mom” phenomena is an outgrowth of helicopter parenting, and as such it’s a pretty new trend. It’s one of the many, many things about being a parent that I just don’t get. You’re with this kid damn near 24/7, why not use that hour dance class as a way to get a break?

      Aug 16, 2013 at 6:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.3   Lil'

      Looking back, I think I would have liked doing something like dance as a kid. We grew up in the country. Waaaayyy out in the country. The school bus picked us up and dropped us off. Our free time was spent climbing trees and exploring the woods. It really was great as a kid, but now as an adult, I wish I could play an instrument – I would even settle for knowing the rules of the most popular sports. A lot of kids claim to dislike something new simply because they haven’t gotten good at it yet. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with making them stick it out for a little while – but I think it’s important to start with something they’ve shown some type of interest in. But their are parents who force their likes on their kids – like my former coworker who very seriously said he would only pay his son’s way through college if his son chose to go to the same university he went to. He even went so far as to decorate his son’s room in that school’s mascot. The kid was four. C’mon.

      Aug 16, 2013 at 8:02 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.4   redheadwglasses

      I had the same childhood, Lil’, as far as living out in the boondocks and having only ourselves, nature, and the occasional bull to chase us for entertainment.

      Aug 16, 2013 at 3:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.5   Lil'

      LOL – the bull! My uncle had a bull in his neck of the (literal) woods. We were always told when we had sleepovers at his house “NEVER turn your back on the bull. It can plow through that fence.” Maybe they were kidding me, but I’m not kidding when I tell you I walked backwards anytime that beast was visible to me. He always looked like he would kill me at any moment.

      Aug 18, 2013 at 12:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   Neeners

    Don’t force kids to dance or you get this later


    Aug 16, 2013 at 12:11 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Zsa

    Elf, I do exactly that. I’ve got my little cutie signed up for classes, camps and whatever else I can find this summer just so I can have some quality time with a book. Yup, I’m THAT mom. Drive her there, sign her in and run like hell.

    Aug 16, 2013 at 9:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Ace of Space

    I’m the parent that signed her kids up for everything I could think of, hoping to expose the kids to somthing they would find interesting in the long run that would stick. Ballet, martial arts, painting, swimming, you name it. My kids just don’t like anything. Shrug.

    Aug 16, 2013 at 11:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Snicklefritz

      I had the same problem with mine. Signed him up for everything sports related. He hated it all as long as there were adults involved. He had no place in his world for overly involved parents. I finally gave up signing him up for things that involved any sort of teamwork.

      Aug 16, 2013 at 2:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   chickey_soup

      Did you ever ask the kids what they might be interested in? Not being a smart ass, just not clear from the “signed them up for everything I could think of”. Sometimes kids will hate everything just because they are being made to do it.

      Aug 16, 2013 at 2:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.3   Snicklefritz

      In answer to your question, the response was that he wanted to sit in front of the tv and play video games all day, and run around the neighborhood lighting fires. (yes, I raised a smartass, and it was very apparent at a very early age)
      The bottom line is that he just didn’t like anything organized, or that had any kind of adult supervision. You sign your kid up for things hoping something will spark an interest. Turns out it was robotics and cooking that struck a chord much later in his teen years.

      Aug 16, 2013 at 3:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.4   justme

      Mine tried everything and didn’t love anything either. He finished every season but never wanted to sign up for another. I think he liked the idea of soccer, martial arts, dance, etc. but wanted to start out as an expert. As soon as he found out he would have to practice to get good at something, his interest waned.

      Now, however, he is a well-adjusted college student who is president of both the fencing and swing dance clubs on campus. He had participated in neither of those before starting college. I guess it just took him a while to find something he liked enough to work at.

      Aug 16, 2013 at 5:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   Tard

    I have helicopter parent friends whose kids are over scheduled to the Max because of course their children are special.

    Imagine being six years old and walking around with a sneer because you have been told your entire life you are better than everyone else.

    The beat down life has in store for these little princes is going be quite the experience for them.

    Maybe not today,
    Maybe not tomorrow,
    But soon and for the rest of their lives.

    Aug 16, 2013 at 3:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   The Elf

      Their uppance will come.

      Aug 17, 2013 at 2:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.2   Holly

      Then there are the kids whose parents tell them they have to be better than everyone, or else. Having been one of those kids, I feel for them.

      Aug 18, 2013 at 2:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   LauraKY

    There are dance moms and then there are competition dance moms. Not in the same category, not at all.

    Aug 19, 2013 at 7:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   Joe

    Count me among the kids whose parents made me finish something once I started it, but never forced me into an activity. My Mom even stood up for me when I said I was done with baseball and my Dad wanted me to continue so he could keep coaching.

    Though this one could be a case of “finish what you started,” I don’t get that vibe from the kid’s words.

    Aug 21, 2013 at 12:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   Toya

    I should have done this to my mom. She put me in cheerleading from elementary to high school because she “couldn’t be a cheerleader in school”. All those Saturdays and days after school wasted because she couldn’t fulfill a dream in the 70s. I also played basketball in high school because she insisted I wasn’t active enough. (I’m nerd. Nerds don’t do sports.) *sigh* Could have been worse. She made my brothers play soccer and baseball from elementary school to high school because they were “pudgy kids”. They didn’t have a summer.

    Aug 27, 2013 at 1:15 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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