Raging against the (vending) machine

August 28th, 2013 · 19 comments

Writes Katy in Tampa: “The vending machines in my office are old, and they eat someone’s money at least once a week. The vending machine guy told us to put a sticky on the machine saying how much money you lost and he’ll refund it when he comes to fill the machine. Apparently the machine was hungry this week.”

Um...You might want to stop putting money in here!  Just a thought.

So, that was two weeks ago. Katy just wrote again with a follow-up: “Since the vending machine company has ignored our pleas to fix the machine, the notes just keep on coming.”

  I didn't lose any money, I just want to feel included. I didn't lose any money also, but I need to make my car payment - $275.00 Skip

related: The Candyman Can’t

FILED UNDER: money · office · smartass · Tampa · vending machine drama

19 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Eileen

    Love Skip’s audacity. Nice try, buddy. :)

    Aug 28, 2013 at 6:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   The Elf

      And poor Scott. He just wants a little attention, damn it. All day long, work work work in his lonely cubicle. No one ever drops by to chat. Then it’s home to the empty house to edit his kill list.

      Aug 28, 2013 at 9:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Raichu

      Skip’s note was my favorite. :D

      Aug 28, 2013 at 1:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Ely North

      I also like the little scribbling below his name. I can’t tell if he fancies himself a king whose signature demands a regal flourish or if he’s got some kind of heart-breaking neuromuscular disease.

      Either one could explain his abject loneliness.

      Aug 28, 2013 at 2:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   spacenomyous

    does the vending machine guy know everyone in the office, or is he just going to tape quarters onto the post-its.

    Aug 28, 2013 at 7:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Kipling

    Know why they say not to tip the machine?
    Because you can score a ton of FREE candy!!

    Aug 28, 2013 at 7:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Jetboy

      I wouldn’t tip the machine either but only because it doesn’t give good service.

      Aug 28, 2013 at 9:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   The Elf

      Or be crushed. But, hey, FREE CANDY.

      Aug 28, 2013 at 9:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   Tard

      Look behind a machine like this, they are almost always bolted to the wall behind them.

      And I’m the reason why.

      Aug 28, 2013 at 2:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Ace of Space

    A Louisville Slugger to the front of the machine would solve everyone’s problems.

    Aug 28, 2013 at 10:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   pooham

    Jason writes like a girl.

    Aug 28, 2013 at 11:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Kristin

      I would stick my middle finger up at you, but I am a lady. And also, this could be an office of engineers? My husband is a civil engineer and in college he was graded on the neatness of his printing. Whole classes were dedicated to teaching the engineers to be able to print neatly on the drawings. Pretty sure everything is computerized now, but that’s a lesson you don’t unlearn, like riding a bike.

      Sep 2, 2013 at 6:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Red Delicious

    A simple “Out of Order” sign might encourage someone to fix things. I mean, if no one’s putting money in, and no one’s buying candy, then a certain someone isn’t making any money off his machine. And if that certain someone isn’t making money off his machine… then maybe he’ll get off his fat lazy ass and just fix the damn thing already. I mean… it’s logic, but… perhaps that would be asking too much.

    Aug 28, 2013 at 1:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   BrookeDiz bang

    Fer godssake, demand a new machine!

    Aug 28, 2013 at 1:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Raichu

    Now, if only they had someone with a free candy jar on their desk…they might not need to use the vending machine!

    Aug 28, 2013 at 1:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   redheadwglasses

    Ridiculous. When I was married, my spouse had a side vending machine gig (it started out as a hobby of collecting antique vending machines), and he never would have allowed things to get this bad. Red Delicious is absolutely right. Stop putting money in the machine. Cut off the cash cow’s udder and make the guy either fix the machine or replace it. Or heck, tell him he has one month to do either, or his machine is gone and someone else will be invited to take over.

    Those were the days — we never lacked for quarters, even though we didn’t take our laundry to the laundromat!

    As a side note, he got an Art Deco 1930s condom machine with the logo “Black Cat.” Very cool. He mounted it on the bathroom wall (we had a big bathroom – 12×12) and loaded it with bazooka gum.

    Aug 28, 2013 at 3:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   jdaniel

      Ouch. Cutting off the guy’s udder seems a little aggressive.

      Aug 28, 2013 at 4:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   The Elf

      Okay, I just about spewed my coffee after reading that one. A condom machine loaded with bazooka gum? Don’t get them confused!

      Aug 29, 2013 at 9:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Gladystopia

    Somebody should hang a tape measure around the vending machine. Two birds with one stone: no more vending-machine problems AND no more obesity epidemic.

    Who says PAN never taught important life lessons?

    Aug 31, 2013 at 12:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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