Before you cry “FAKE!” — I would have filed this away in the “too-good-to-be-true,” pile, had not Deniz in Ontario stepped forward to admit that he is the mad man behind this posters. Explains Deniz: “I made this flyer because I had had enough of this STUPID CAT wrecking my flowers and window screen, but in the end all it accomplished was making my boyfriend think I was crazy. Oh, and I put my real phone number on it (stupid).”
I’ve gotta say, Deniz, you had me at “photo of similar looking cat.” This is my favorite crazypants submission in a long, long time.
Adds Deniz: “The STUPID CAT still remains at large. I have given up on planting flowers.”
related: Beware of barking mad cat lovers!
87 responses so far ↓
#1
Red Delicious
I’m on pins and needles here wondering what it would mean to “not be nice.”
Sep 19, 2013 at 4:34 pm rating: 90
#2
Hillary
Whose cat is this?
“Photo of similar looking cat” hahahah
Sep 19, 2013 at 4:39 pm rating: 90
#3
mutzali
Sounds like it’s time for a super-soaker kept close at hand. Doesn’t hurt the cat. Pisses it off. Retrains it.
Or go the sporting goods store (even Walmart)and buy powdered coyote urine to sprinkle around your plants once every couple of weeks. YOU can’t smell it, but they can. It keeps the squirrels out of my vegetable garden, and keeps my cats from sleeping on top of my pepper plants!
Sep 19, 2013 at 4:48 pm rating: 90
#4
Gonzo the Clown
Link doesn’t work.
*golf clap*
Sep 19, 2013 at 4:50 pm rating: 90
#5
Jami
Three words.
Feral cat trap.
Bait with some sort of pork product, wait, catch cat, find out if there’s a tag on the collar and confront owner, or turn cat over to animal control. (And no, they will NOT automatically put the cat to sleep. I’ve talked to them personally. They do everything in their power to find the owner and if they can’t they turn the animal over to a shelter.)
Sep 19, 2013 at 4:55 pm rating: 90
#6
Raichu
This sounds like it was made just for PAN.com. I mean it’s right up the same tree as indoor/outdoor cat, and it’s hilarious.
Sep 19, 2013 at 5:40 pm rating: 90
#7
warns
I can understand being frustrated that somebody’s outdoor cat is messing with your plants or trying to get closer to your cat, but threatening the animal means you shouldn’t have a cat in the first place.
If you knew cats, you’d probably know there are ample natural and synthetic materials that cats won’t go near, that doesn’t involve you threatening violence against somebody else’s pet.
Sep 19, 2013 at 6:55 pm rating: 90
#8
Nunavut Guy
Indoor vs outdoor cat debate? You guys DO love me!
It’s like Christmas in September.
Sep 19, 2013 at 7:27 pm rating: 90
#9
sunshynegrll
The awful truth about powdered coyote urine: it’s really produced in factories where captive, roadrunner-beaten coyotes are tube-fed cheap beer 24/7, in tiny cages where the animal can’t even find a private place to go #1. The urine is collected in troughs, dehydrated, packaged, and sold to WalMart. All so your flowers can be ‘cat-resistant’ (at the cost of being covered in dog piss.)
Sep 19, 2013 at 8:49 pm rating: 90
#10
You don't want to know
Why isn’t he just squirting the cat with a squirt gun full of water or a super soaker?
Sep 20, 2013 at 12:29 am rating: 90
#11
ClarinetBoy12
When I lived in Western Australia, there was a guy with the same problem. He waited till the cat came in, grabbed it, shaved its fur off one side, etched the words “BLOODY NUISANCE” into it with a razor blade, and tossed it back over the fence.
Not recommended – but it worked.
Sep 20, 2013 at 12:41 am rating: 90
#12
soupprincess
Just sprinkle some cayenne around your flowers, and put some tin foil on the window sill.
Sep 20, 2013 at 1:31 am rating: 90
#13
The Elf
The “similar looking cat” is a dilute tortie. Good luck getting a tri-color to do anything. That mutant orange gene tends to also create Tortitude In Abundance. You think mere water will deter a tortie, once she’s got her bitch pants on? Ha!
Sep 20, 2013 at 8:10 am rating: 90
#14
Rene
I’m team Note Writer. I’m a cat person, but some people have cats & have zero shits to give about what kind of havoc the cat could be inflicting upon the neighborhood. White cayenne pepper is also a good deterrent for unwanted critters. Sprinkle it around your “territory”.
Sep 20, 2013 at 8:51 am rating: 90
#15
Moomin
In the UK we always find it very strange (read slightly mean) that anyone would keep a cat indoors.
Sep 20, 2013 at 8:58 am rating: 90
#16
Pestle
Orange juice in a spray bottle. My grandfather used to spray his nasty old cat when she clung to the screen door. (What’s funnier than a mentally ill cat hanging onto a screen door?)
It didn’t stop her from coming back to do it again, but it gave him deep satisfaction.
Sep 20, 2013 at 12:30 pm rating: 90
#17
KMZ
DENIZ, are you in Mississauga? I think I may know the cat.
Sep 20, 2013 at 4:39 pm rating: 90
#18
Tard
I’m not a cat person, but I am an animal lover and we have always just sprayed the cat with some water. Works great.
Sep 20, 2013 at 4:57 pm rating: 90
#19
Poltergeist
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?
(photo of similar looking man)
If you see him, don’t hesitate to shoot! He pocketed my chicken wings!
Sep 20, 2013 at 6:38 pm rating: 90
#20
Ga
Snicklefritz
Almost fell off my chair laughing so hard at your comment
Sep 21, 2013 at 4:30 pm rating: 90
#21
Madrias
And yet again, I’d advocate the use of an air-cannon and a soaking wet sponge. Doesn’t have to be pressurized to lethal velocities to get the point across, and works well at deterring cats. Gotten the pests of the neighborhood to leave the damn trash can alone, and gotten to be a bit of a crack shot with a lightly modified potato cannon.
Sep 23, 2013 at 11:48 am rating: 90
#22
Joe
You could go the route we did. Neighbors kept feeding the stray cats and refused to stop. The cats would proceed to make a mess of our front porch and property (whether it was poop, puke, dead birds or dead kittens, it was not a stretch to say it was not tolerable). Our other neighbor had a live animal trap they let us borrow. A bit of chicken and catnip would get them in the trap. In the morning before work I’d drive them across the river and let them loose in the next state over. Humane, doesn’t put them in a shelter and hell if they’re ever finding their way back across a giant body of water.
Sep 23, 2013 at 4:58 pm rating: 90
#23
Alice B Goode
My kitten (8 weeks old) walks with a slip leash (a slipknot and a long piece of string).
She may not be very happy about it, but she’s relatively content.
At first they always flop over and play dead. Eventually they get the hang of it. Most cats will never walk the way a dog does on a leash, but some do!
I am pro indoor-kitty. Cats definitely benefit from outdoors and fresh air but at what cost.
Deniz- Don’t give up on gardening!! GET THAT CAT, lol.
Sep 28, 2013 at 2:46 pm rating: 90
#24
Mic
Our neighbors have a similar ‘stupid cat’. She taunted our two indoor kitties ALL the time. I came home one day witnessing my neighbor putting our screen back on our window. Apparently, her cat climbed on it and fell backwards.
We got pigeon/bird spikes to put on our window sill – and that darn cat has not been back since. I highly recommend it.
Sep 30, 2013 at 3:01 pm rating: 90
#25
Daisy
8 months late to the conversation, but this is one of the funniest things I’ve seen Ina while…
The cat picture all by itself made me laugh, as it looks like the cat is posing for a yearbook photo. (A little Anthony Michael hall?) Then I missed the “photo of similar cat” caption until I saw the comments and I had tears streaming I was laughing so hard. Thank you crazy pants!
May 13, 2014 at 9:57 pm rating: 90
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