Dear late-night cat: plz discipline ur lady. kthxbai.
related: Please walk your elephant quietly!
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · cats · most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · noise · Oakland
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95 responses so far ↓
#1
Chinchillazilla
my cat has been missing for a week. if anyone leaves me a note like this i will murder them. that is all.
Oct 22, 2013 at 9:22 pm rating: 90
#2
Nobody's Moggy
Ah, the midnight caterwaul of the irresponsible cat owner. Both of the following should occur: 1) the cat should be caught and collected by animal control and done with as is necessary and; 2) the police should be contacted as to the owner disturbing the peace and irresponsible pet ownership.
Oct 22, 2013 at 9:27 pm rating: 90
#3
Midas
I just want to find myself a gold fish!
Oct 22, 2013 at 9:32 pm rating: 90
#4
Sachi
I think that the neighbours should keep a ready supply of water bombs in the fridge to lob at the crazy cat lady when she starts calling out at 12, 1 or 2 am on a nearly daily basis. Maybe write on them “Bad Kitty”. She’ll learn.
Oct 22, 2013 at 9:48 pm rating: 90
#5
grave
i had a neighbor that did things like this almost nightly. we all lived in a two story apartment building with a common area in the center. she would come out between 1 and 3 am, screaming for a cat that wasn’t even hers. it was a communal cat. so it could have been in anyone’s apartment that was volunteering to take care of it. this broad was beyond crazy. if you have any kind of manners you just stfu. i wish common sense was actually common.
Oct 22, 2013 at 9:50 pm rating: 90
#6
TKD
Somebody has to start it.
Indoor cats.
Oct 22, 2013 at 9:53 pm rating: 90
#7
Wonkette
I live in a neighborhood where coyotes are common visitors after dark. To make sure my cat (who has since passed and not been replaced) came home before dark, I fed him first thing I the morning and at sunset. If he came home late, he didn’t get to eat. He was a food whore, so he always came home on time. In fact, he would come running at the sound of the back door opening and I never had to stand outside hollering at him and disturbing the neighbors. Some cats can be trained.
Oct 22, 2013 at 10:14 pm rating: 90
#8
Quite Contrary
Any cat owner who behaves in a way that warrants this sign does not deserve the honor of being called a “cat lady.”
Oct 22, 2013 at 10:26 pm rating: 90
#9
crfender
I ate my gold fish.
Oct 22, 2013 at 10:38 pm rating: 90
#10
Roto13
Missed opportunity to give her the title of “The Midnight Cat Lady.” 0/10.
Oct 22, 2013 at 10:41 pm rating: 90
#11
shwo!
Only possible response to the cat lady: All the neighbors dress in cat costumes and silently emerge from the shadows and converge on her in the middle of the street.
Oct 22, 2013 at 11:55 pm rating: 90
#12
Wendy
Oh. That could be almost be me. I often open the backdoor and whistle for my cats after 1am. (They usually come running). I was hoping the neighbors would think it was just some crazy bird
Oct 23, 2013 at 12:09 am rating: 90
#13
Gronk
Your cat was f*cking delicious
Oct 23, 2013 at 2:26 am rating: 90
#14
Taco Cat | taC ocaT
Goldfish is one word, THAT’S what we should be talking about.
Oct 23, 2013 at 6:03 am rating: 90
#15
Lil'
All the neighbors should get super soakers and spray her every time she screams out for the cat, and keep doing it until the behavior changes. They must spray her exactly when she does it otherwise it won’t work.
Oct 23, 2013 at 7:15 am rating: 90
#16
knitchic
If I were that cat I wouldn’t want to go home to screachy lady either.
Oct 23, 2013 at 8:15 am rating: 90
#17
My name is Princess!
The cat probably found a better rug to pee on.
Oct 23, 2013 at 8:37 am rating: 90
#18
The Elf
It’s not the cat lady. That’s the cat calling in high loud voice. She’s misplaced her human.
Oct 23, 2013 at 8:48 am rating: 90
#19
Jami
Dear Submitter,
I’ll take your cat lady over the drunks who walk down the street talking loudly about the Kardashians and other reality dweebs. At least I’d know who to call the cops on. (Or should that be “whom”? I can never tell.)
Oct 23, 2013 at 9:14 am rating: 90
#20
Kwyjor
One of the many boggling things about this post is the notion that there are cats who will come when they are called. It strikes me as just slightly less ludicrous than yelling at the TV during a sports game.
Oct 23, 2013 at 9:35 am rating: 90
#21
warns
I’m usually in favor of the responsible outdoor owners, this lady does not sound like one. If you’re gonna leave your cat out at night, leave it out at night, don’t make a fuss about it on the daily.
Of course as usual, I think whoever is peeved could always speak to the “cat lady” face to face since she doesn’t seem hard to find, and chances are it will end better than it seems it’s heading for now.
Oct 23, 2013 at 11:48 am rating: 90
#22
Ace of Space
4) Consider I will come outside and beat your ass.
Oct 23, 2013 at 2:44 pm rating: 90
#23
Jolly
To be fair, if you have an indoor/outdoor cat, calling it is, in fact, how you get it indoors for the night. Why you would wait until 1am to call your cat inside for the night is beyond me, though.
Oct 23, 2013 at 6:37 pm rating: 90
#24
angelswings07
Whats up with the indoor/outdoor thing. Seriously, cats are not just as happy stuck indoors as they are outdoors. They just aren’t. And there are few cats that can be happily trained to walk on a harness. Also, a cats life is significantly shortened by it being outside at night, not in general, but at night, because that’s when they are most likely to get into fights, or hit by cars because being nocturnal they sleep a fair amount of the day away.
Anyway, I would kill my neighbour if they did this. Easiest way of preventing it? Feed your cat at the same time every evening. If they don’t come back, they miss out. They learn quick. My two are home every night by 6pm and I can shut them in without having to scream their name across the neighbourhood.
Oct 23, 2013 at 8:52 pm rating: 90
#25
MickeyButters
I used to let my kitty Zeus roam my city neighborhood. He usually came in at night but sometimes got distracted, I guess. So I had a special call for him.
ZooBEEEEEEEE come hEEEEEEre! (think suEEEEEE like for pigs).
Worked like a charm. He’d come running home from where ever he was in the neighborhood.
It was just a quick squeak, though, not telling the cat’s name in the middle of the night.
Oct 26, 2013 at 6:37 pm rating: 90
#26
anon
I thought of the various cats mom had over time, and there was only one incident I can recall where one of them was missing longer than overnight. It had been spooked by a late afternoon thunderstorm while outside. Mom put out fliers on our street and two adjacent ones. A neighbor on the next block found it about a week or two later. It had bolted across the street and over the back fence, then taken refuge in the house basement.
Oct 27, 2013 at 11:16 am rating: 90
#27
Obat Herbal
I would put the dog in front of her room so that crowded all night
Oct 29, 2013 at 11:11 pm rating: 90
#28
Kitty
I adopted a stray cat who showed up on my doorstep a couple months ago. He comes when I call, but only responds to “kitty” not the name I chose for him. I was afraid at first that he’d always want to escape back outside but he hasn’t. He comes to the door, looks outside and turns around. I guess, after experiencing what it is like to be an outdoor cat, he’s decided it’s better indoors.
Oct 30, 2013 at 9:24 am rating: 90
#29
paula
Dumbass. First of all us cat ladies have to put up with your children screaming at all hours.
Those of us who have worked night shifts have to be woken up constantly by day time noise.
If you can only afford to live in a built up area then I suggest ear plugs.
Nov 4, 2013 at 2:07 pm rating: 90
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