Writes Meg in New Jersey: “We just buried my Mom today. After Mass and luncheon we came home and unpacked cards from the funeral home. This is from my brother’s office.” Can you tell who didn’t bother to read the card before signing it?
related: My condolences on your birthday
116 responses so far ↓
#1
FeRD
And she died on her birthday! How sad.
Jan 5, 2014 at 2:41 pm rating: 90
#2
melizer
That would SO cheer me up!
Jan 5, 2014 at 2:47 pm rating: 90
#3
Wench
Wow. Don’t know whether to laugh or cry at how oblivious some people are.
Jan 5, 2014 at 2:55 pm rating: 90
#4
Meg walker
He’s still waiting for cake in the breakroom!
Jan 5, 2014 at 2:59 pm rating: 90
#5
Mo
Happy B Day = Happy Burial Day
Right!??!??
Jan 5, 2014 at 3:20 pm rating: 90
#6
Will
Sean knew that they’d need a laugh on a day like that. Or he’s an idiot. One of the two.
Jan 5, 2014 at 3:24 pm rating: 90
#7
H for Toy
Attention all mobile users: This PAN is NSFSOTPSBYSSTYNFL (not safe for sitting on the porch smoking, because you’ll snort smoke through your nose from laughing).
Jan 5, 2014 at 3:51 pm rating: 90
#8
MightyMouse
Though I’m also intrigued by Jim’s “deepest thoughts”. I’m imagining him musing on the temporal paradox. Which, you know, cool, but appropriate for the occasion? Not so sure.
Jan 5, 2014 at 4:15 pm rating: 90
#9
John Reese
What baffles me is that he wrote it not an inch from the word “loss”…what a boob!
Jan 5, 2014 at 4:28 pm rating: 90
#10
redheadwglasses
Miss Manners says it’s poor etiquette to have numerous people sign a sympathy card. When one starts circulating in the office, I reach in my drawer and pull out a pre-purchased card and send my own.
Jan 5, 2014 at 5:18 pm rating: 90
#11
Jami
Dear Sean,
Life is not a sitcom and you are not Drew Carrey.
Next time, read what you’re signing.
Though I am tempted to slip Sean a “sell your soul to me” contract in the form of a card and see what he does.
Jan 5, 2014 at 6:22 pm rating: 90
#12
Tard
Hmmm… Now, wait a minute.
The person supposedly posting this says she “just buried my mom today” yet is posting a humorous picture on PAN?
Having buried two parents, four grandparents, the parents of several friends and one best friend (plus five dogs so far), I say it’s very unlikely someone who buried her mom THAT DAY is posting to PAN.
I spent each day looking and acting like a WWI shell-shock victim.
Or the world is full of sociopaths?
Jan 5, 2014 at 9:17 pm rating: 90
#13
Fiona
*they’re
Jan 5, 2014 at 9:36 pm rating: 90
#14
assiveProgressive
In defense of the moron, I never know what to write on those group greeting cards, and I’m sure I’ve said my share of inappropriate things.
Jan 5, 2014 at 10:43 pm rating: 90
#15
Redheadwglasses
My dad, dying of lung cancer at home, faked his death. Three times. Laughing his head off each time. 12 hours before he actually died.
Some families are just that way.
(Boyfriend has begged me not to repeat that behavior.)
Jan 6, 2014 at 2:30 am rating: 90
#16
TRT
As a work place card, surely the default comment should be “Good luck in your new position! You’ll be missed.”?
Jan 6, 2014 at 6:18 am rating: 90
#17
Paula K
10 to one the guy wasn’t paying attention & is used to signing cards shoved under his nose intended for someone’s birthday..Same with the person walking around getting the card signed & not looking at what people wrote. I’m the person who was always walking around with the card… Anyways, I would have laughed if it was me.
Jan 6, 2014 at 8:29 am rating: 90
#18
Paula K
And Lita, yes-PLEASE share!
Jan 6, 2014 at 8:33 am rating: 90
#19
LadyIslay
My husband sometimes signs group Christmas or Thank-you notes with “Happy Birthday” intentionally just to see if the recipiant is paying attention. I’ve never seen a group sympathy card before. If I found out that he said “Happy Birthday” on something like that, he would probably be in need of a sympathy card of his own.
I do confess that I once signed a thank-you card completely wrong. It was from a choir. I didn’t know the names of all the choir members. I was handed a card and a pen and said, “here, this is a card for John and Jane.” I assumed we were thanking them for hosting a party at their house, so I said something to that end in my note. (Thank-you for hosting the dinner… you have a lovely home… blah blah blah). Turns out we were thanking *another* couple for singing with us that season (which seems completely odd… I mean, I was the featured soloist that season, and no one gave me a card!).
Jan 6, 2014 at 10:21 am rating: 90
#20
Quite Contrary
This card represents the handwriting styles of every office in the country. From the 60-something spinster in the lower left hand corner to the middle aged look and dress alike white men (I’m looking at you Chip and Steve) to the “please dear god, let me find a husband” chick in the lower right hand corner.
Jan 6, 2014 at 11:06 am rating: 90
#21
Pascale
I like to think that Sean was doing the classic my-message-is-going-to-be-the-funniest-in-the-office move and has desperately tried to one-up everyone else. He’s probably sitting at his desk right now waiting for the high-fives to roll in
Jan 6, 2014 at 11:30 am rating: 90
#22
mitte
I’ll be the devil’s advocate here.
I’m really tired of having greeting cards shoved in my face all the time at work. Having to write something clever or cute in order to wish this or that to people I’ve never even talked to: it seems a little hypocritical to me. And of course I don’t care much about receiving these stupid cards either.
So it’s perfectly possible that I become at some point that person who signs cards in a completely absentminded way and end up wishing a happy appendisectomy to Pete when I was actually supposed to congratulate Laura on her new car.
It’s not that I’m stupid, it’s just that I don’t care about people I don’t really know. Nothing personal.
(I’m exaggerating a bit, but you get the sentiment)
Jan 6, 2014 at 3:11 pm rating: 90
#23
Katimomkat
My father who died a few years ago, had a very wry sense of humor, which, at his memorial service, many of the people who told personal stories of their memories of him mentioned. My brother, who gave one of the 3 official eulogies, began his speach with an example of my Dad’s humor. Dad loved to rock fish along the California coast, and we kids loved to climb down the rocks to collect mussels for his bait. One day, when my brother was about eight, and very proud of his “mussel hunting” skills, my father said to him, “yes son, you are a real Master baiter.” Of course, my brother, being too young to understand the joke, later proudly told my Mom that Dad said he was a real Master baiter. This story elicited a wave of laughter among the attendees. It’s how our Dad would have wanted it, and it was good to have a comic relief in between our tears.
Jan 6, 2014 at 5:22 pm rating: 90
#24
mutzali
I’m from a family of 7 kids. When we lost Vince to AIDS, we had a wake at my sister’s house. One of Vince’s friends asked another of my brothers, “Which one are you?”. He answered “Well, I used to be #6, but I just moved up a slot!” She was obviously disgusted with the “irreverence”, but the rest of us agreed it was a Vince-worthy answer.
Jan 6, 2014 at 6:16 pm rating: 90
#25
Lita
Heh, alright, the story of my grandfather’s funeral.
See, ol’ grandpa B was, to put it bluntly, very rich and very mean. He was very fond of throwing fits and cutting my mother, aunt and uncle out of his will if they even dared to blink wrong in his direction. As might be expected, this spawned some rather bad blood, and I believe at the time of the funeral my uncle D had been estranged from grandpa B for years due to all this mess. Honestly, we didn’t even expect him to show up to the funeral.
He did. He even behaved, to the eyes of anyone who wasn’t actually family.
He was helping the rabbi (Jewish service) fill in the grave after the service, and he was the one to lay the sod piece atop the grave. He tamped it down numerous times with the shovel, then handed the shovel off to the rabbi and began tamping it very firmly down with his feet.
Which is when my mother leaned over to me and whispered “He’s probably making sure the bastard is going to STAY dead and buried.”
And that’s how I ended up hiding a fit of snorty laughter in the middle of the service.
Jan 6, 2014 at 7:10 pm rating: 90
#26
AssiveProgressive
Are these people too PC to pray for Joe and his mother? “I pray that your mother will not be banished to the eternal flames of hell — Peace be with you”
Jan 7, 2014 at 12:42 am rating: 90
#27
Me
I am Sean.. So many of these things go around the office asking for money, etc. Sometimes you just get used to writing happy bday for whoevers turn it is.
Jan 22, 2014 at 1:08 pm rating: 90
#28
Tavia
This happened at my office, too! Thankfully we caught it before it went out.
Jan 27, 2014 at 3:52 pm rating: 90
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