Which one of these is not like the other?

January 5th, 2014 · 116 comments

Writes Meg in New Jersey: “We just buried my Mom today. After Mass and luncheon we came home and unpacked cards from the funeral home. This is from my brother’s office.” Can you tell who didn’t bother to read the card before signing it?

Which one of these is not like the other?

related: My condolences on your birthday

FILED UNDER: New Jersey · Oops?

116 responses so far ↓

  • #1   FeRD bang

    And she died on her birthday! How sad.

    Jan 5, 2014 at 2:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   silverlining

      But convenient for people trying to figure out her age!

      Jan 6, 2014 at 2:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   melizer

    That would SO cheer me up!

    Jan 5, 2014 at 2:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Wench

    Wow. Don’t know whether to laugh or cry at how oblivious some people are.

    Jan 5, 2014 at 2:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   The Beast Among Us

      I know of a few people in my office that would definitely do this, as they choose not to care about anyone other than themselves.

      Jan 9, 2014 at 5:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Meg walker

    He’s still waiting for cake in the breakroom!

    Jan 5, 2014 at 2:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Mo

    Happy B Day = Happy Burial Day


    Jan 5, 2014 at 3:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   kermit

      That’s supposed to be B? I thought it looked like a D.

      Although I think it’s also kinda inappropriate to wish somebody a happy D-Day, even if they are a veteran.

      Jan 5, 2014 at 3:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Will

    Sean knew that they’d need a laugh on a day like that. Or he’s an idiot. One of the two.

    Jan 5, 2014 at 3:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Divawriter

      Sean is either:

      (1) A real passive-aggressive jerk who was just trying to be an ass;

      (2) Someone with a misplaced sense of humor;

      (3) An idiot.

      I vote for a combination of all three.

      Jan 5, 2014 at 6:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   H for Toy

    Attention all mobile users: This PAN is NSFSOTPSBYSSTYNFL (not safe for sitting on the porch smoking, because you’ll snort smoke through your nose from laughing).

    Jan 5, 2014 at 3:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   FeRD bang

      H for Toy smorted! Let’s all point and laugh, children!

      Jan 5, 2014 at 10:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   H for Toy

      It’s so cold today, I think I’m going to quit. Both smoking and laughing.

      Jan 7, 2014 at 9:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   Haterade

      Best of luck on the first one. (^_^) That’s one obnoxiously difficult beast to slay, or at least it was for me.

      Jan 7, 2014 at 10:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.4   H for Toy

      Yeah it is. Mr. for Toy and I are quitting, but one at a time, because when we try at the same time, it ends with ugliness and chain smoking.

      Jan 7, 2014 at 11:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.5   Raichu

      Good luck to both of you!

      Jan 7, 2014 at 1:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.6   H for Toy

      Thanks :)

      Jan 7, 2014 at 6:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.7   Beatus Mongous

      Flush your body with vitamin C (grapefruit juice among other things) in order to get rid of the lingering nicotine. Use cinnamon toothpaste and mouthwash right when you wake and chew cinnamon gum whenever you crave, as mint just makes the craving stronger.

      Jan 9, 2014 at 5:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.8   Lita bang

      Good luck H. You can do it. :D

      Jan 9, 2014 at 9:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.9   H for Toy

      Thanks for the tips, Beatus. I can do that, as long as I don’t mix the grapefruit juice with the cinnamon gum.

      Jan 10, 2014 at 12:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   MightyMouse

    Though I’m also intrigued by Jim’s “deepest thoughts”. I’m imagining him musing on the temporal paradox. Which, you know, cool, but appropriate for the occasion? Not so sure.

    Jan 5, 2014 at 4:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   it's naptime

      Anyone else remember “deep thoughts by Jack Handey”? Good times.

      Jan 5, 2014 at 6:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   MarfieDog

      Oh my yes. I sent one of the Deep Thoughts cards to my dad for Father’s Day probably 15 (or more?) years ago. It’s still on my parent’s refrigerator.

      Jan 5, 2014 at 6:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   kermit

      Did they also make one with “superficial thoughts”?

      It’s seems a bit incongruous to have one for deep thoughts and leave out the superficial market.

      Jan 5, 2014 at 7:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.4   The Elf

      Yeah, but who’d send that. “So sorry for your loss. You’re in my shallowest thoughts.”

      Jan 6, 2014 at 6:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.5   kermit

      Elf, I invite you visit the successful(?) business of someecards[dot]com. There’s money in snark and professionally-done PA cards.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 6:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.6   The Elf

      …. That site is amazing. You have changed my life.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 11:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.7   kermit

      Does this mean that I am now allowed to move into the Library of Congress and write with a vice-presidential fountain pen?

      If yes, yaay!
      If no, booo—urns!

      Jan 6, 2014 at 1:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   John Reese

    What baffles me is that he wrote it not an inch from the word “loss”…what a boob!

    Jan 5, 2014 at 4:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   redheadwglasses

    Miss Manners says it’s poor etiquette to have numerous people sign a sympathy card. When one starts circulating in the office, I reach in my drawer and pull out a pre-purchased card and send my own.

    Jan 5, 2014 at 5:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Tard

      A group sympathy card is only appropriate when the people signing are part of a very tight-knit group, I agree.

      I’ve received two (parents, one at a time) and they WERE appreciated, but the group was tight.

      Jan 5, 2014 at 5:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   assiveProgressive bang

      When my brother died my co-workers sent me a group sympathy card. I appreciated their messages. We are a pretty tightly wound group. I mean tight-knit.

      Jan 5, 2014 at 10:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   The Elf

      That seems like one of those etiquette rules that are unnecessarily hidebound. I don’t see anything wrong with the group card, though it is best if it is just circulated among the nearest coworkers.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 6:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   kermit

      To be fair, it’s socially acceptable to dismiss birthdays/weddings and act blasé about it, (because most people get more than one birthday).

      It’s not socially acceptable to behave the same way about deaths, because you only get one funeral – unless the zombie apocalypse comes true at some point in the future.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 6:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.5   Lythande

      On the other hand, a group cards collects all the vague sympathies from coworkers you don’t know particularly well and congeals them into one solid expression of empathy approximately equal to that of a single friend.

      Generally speaking, if there’s a card circulating, it’s for someone I know perhaps to speak to but not to have an actual conversation with; I will sign a card for them with something neutral and unobjectionable, but I would not feel comfortable giving them an individual card, or even saying it to them directly, because they’re about a rung above strangers. In that case, it’s group card or nothing.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 7:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.6   AssiveProgressive

      Vague Sympathies would be a great band name

      Jan 7, 2014 at 12:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.7   The Elf

      Opening band “Deepest Thoughts”.

      Jan 7, 2014 at 6:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Jami

    Dear Sean,
    Life is not a sitcom and you are not Drew Carrey.
    Next time, read what you’re signing.
    Though I am tempted to slip Sean a “sell your soul to me” contract in the form of a card and see what he does.

    Jan 5, 2014 at 6:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   The Elf

      Sure, it’s not like he’s using it.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 6:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Tard

    Hmmm… Now, wait a minute.
    The person supposedly posting this says she “just buried my mom today” yet is posting a humorous picture on PAN?

    Having buried two parents, four grandparents, the parents of several friends and one best friend (plus five dogs so far), I say it’s very unlikely someone who buried her mom THAT DAY is posting to PAN.
    I spent each day looking and acting like a WWI shell-shock victim.

    Or the world is full of sociopaths?

    Jan 5, 2014 at 9:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Fiona

      So because someone doesn’t respond to grief the way you do their a sociopath? I lost my dog (my very best friend for 12 years) on Friday & my great grandma in August. I was on humorous sites & watched comedic movies the same day. I’m not a sociopath, I just need a break from my devastation & a reminder that I will be happy again eventually, even though it doesn’t feel like it now. I’d guess it’s the same for the submitter.

      Jan 5, 2014 at 9:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Fiona

      *they’re (can’t edit on my mobile for some reason)

      Jan 5, 2014 at 9:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   Meg walker

      Tard- She did and I did. Judge if you must, but to my credit I didn’t post pix of the accident caused by my mothers’s cleaning lady who took out my son’s car and the fence while backing into a parking spot @ the funeral home. (Yes, really happened) Effups like these provided a moment’s respite and were simply too good not to share. I think Mom would rather see us laugh in’ than cry in’. Peace.

      Jan 5, 2014 at 9:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.4   Tard

      Seriously, it was you?

      I was trying to be funny, actually, but I guess people handle it differently. I turn into a slobbering zombie for three days, then a weepy weasel for a month, then I’m just depressed for six months, then nearly normal after a year. Then someone else would die, pretty much every year for 5-6 years.

      Jan 5, 2014 at 9:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.5   ramentastic


      Some people want to find the humor in situations, because as shitty as it is to lose a loved one, your life is still moving on. I’ve had that year, the three family members passing away kind of year – you look for the funny. At least we did. It helps you get through it.

      At the very least, Sean may have provided a moment of laughter. (oh I bet his face when he realizes his mistake will be HILARIOUS!)

      Jan 5, 2014 at 11:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.6   Lita bang

      Count my family in the group of people who want to find that elusive humor.

      Did you know it’s extremely hard to hide a bout of snorty laughter during the middle of a graveside service? (If anyone really wants to know the story, I don’t mind telling. It really was pretty hilarious.)

      Jan 6, 2014 at 12:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.7   Jessi

      Lita, I don’t know if you’re a fan of British sit-coms, but your comment reminded me of “The Giggle Loop” from the tv show Coupling, haha!

      For what it’s worth, I think Heinlein said it best: “We laugh because it hurts.”

      Jan 6, 2014 at 2:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.8   Haterade

      Or as my mother would always say, “Sometimes if you can’t laugh, you’ll cry.” (It’s been a year today.)

      Jan 6, 2014 at 3:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.9   The Elf

      People grieve differently. My family passed the time at my Grandma’s viewing by telling dirty jokes. Grandma would have totally approved.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 6:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.10   H for Toy

      When my grandma died (not the Polish one), my mom, dad, and aunt were the ones to make the funeral arrangements. As the funeral director solemnly extolled the virtues of a particular casket, that included pink satin interior, brass handles and a fine mahogany finish, my aunt pipes up, “does it come with cruise control?” That’s pretty much how the entire 2 full days of viewings went, because that’s how my family interacts. I like to think my grandmother was laughing along with us, like she always did.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 9:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.11   The Elf

      I’m sorry for your loss, Meg, Tard, anyone else here who has lost someone close. Even if you find comedy in the sadness, it’s still sad.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 1:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.12   Tard

      I didn’t have family support, can see now that’s at least part of the difference.

      I forgot my two sisters, they died before me, too, hut I didn’t have to bury them. I’m left with a niece and nothing else.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 1:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.13   Snicklefritz

      My brother proceeded to sing the Dueling Banjos song from Deliverance during our uncle’s funeral every time the minister said the word deliverence. It took everything in me to keep from bursting out laughing. For some reason we find death and funerals funny. Weddings – those we cry at.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 2:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.14   The Elf

      That would make a *huge* difference, Tard. Huge.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 2:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.15   H for Toy

      I’ve just recently adopted two full grown men, Tard. I’m happy to adopt a third, if you would like a nice, if somewhat crazy, family.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 3:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.16   jazzgirl205

      In 1995, a dear friend died of AIDS. He requested that I attend his funeral dressed as his widow. As I sat there in full regalia with black picture hat, black suit, and beaded gloves, I was crying real honest tears. The minister then said, “The thing about —– was that he never told a lie.” There I was, his red lipsticked beard at his own funeral. Everyone under 35 looked up in shock. I kept my composure until I met a few close friends at a restaurant after the service (minus the immediate family).

      Jan 6, 2014 at 5:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.17   The Elf

      I’m glad you were able to do this one last thing for him, but I’m sorry that it was necessary.

      Jan 7, 2014 at 6:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.18   jazzgirl205

      Thanks, Elf.

      My own husband did not attend because he said he felt superfluous. He did meet us afterwards, though.

      Jan 7, 2014 at 9:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.19   Raichu

      I think maybe she was searching for some kind of humor and/or social connection. And like many said, everyone grieves differently.

      Jan 7, 2014 at 1:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.20   Zairrin

      When my grandmother died, she died at home, lying on one of those inflatable mattresses that occasionally inflates and deflates a little bit, to prevent bedsores and the like. Which, coincidentally, happens to look a little like breathing.

      So, the doctor comes to the house to confirm the death, while my mother (who is also a doctor), myself, and my surrogate aunt look on. However, the doctor takes one look at her and says, “She’s still breathing!”
      My mom replies, “No she isn’t! She’s dead!” Back and forth, they argue about whether or not she’s alive. (Note: my mother had already gone and confirmed the death before the doctor arrived. The other doctor declared her alive while standing in the doorway, seeing only the movement of the bed.) For ten minutes, “She’s breathing!” “She isn’t!” “Is too!” “Is not!”.

      Finally, I turned to my aunt and declared, “She’s not QUITE dead!” Silence. The doctor looks horrified, as the three of us crack up. She hurriedly signs the death certificate and leaves, looking scandalized as we continued quoting Monty Python, standing over our dead family.

      After, my two brothers and my cousin were riding to the graveyard together in Cousin’s car. It was sad and solemn, so they decided to play a little music. Guess what comes on the radio? Metallica’s “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” For some, laughter really IS the best medicine.

      Jan 8, 2014 at 7:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Fiona


    Jan 5, 2014 at 9:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   The Elf


      Jan 6, 2014 at 11:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   H for Toy

      *pat on the back

      Jan 6, 2014 at 12:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   assiveProgressive bang

    In defense of the moron, I never know what to write on those group greeting cards, and I’m sure I’ve said my share of inappropriate things.

    Jan 5, 2014 at 10:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Iwill FindU

      I really hate group cards, along with never knowing what to write I’m always worried my dyslexia will kick in and I’ll write something I didn’t mean to without realizing it. Maybe I should anyway just for shits and giggles. I just sign my name and am done with it.

      Jan 11, 2014 at 6:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Redheadwglasses

    My dad, dying of lung cancer at home, faked his death. Three times. Laughing his head off each time. 12 hours before he actually died.

    Some families are just that way.

    (Boyfriend has begged me not to repeat that behavior.)

    Jan 6, 2014 at 2:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   TRT

    As a work place card, surely the default comment should be “Good luck in your new position! You’ll be missed.”?

    Jan 6, 2014 at 6:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   The Elf

      Which would have been so much more horrible! I guess we should be glad he went with “happy b-day” if that was the alternative!

      Jan 6, 2014 at 6:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   Paula K

    10 to one the guy wasn’t paying attention & is used to signing cards shoved under his nose intended for someone’s birthday..Same with the person walking around getting the card signed & not looking at what people wrote. I’m the person who was always walking around with the card… Anyways, I would have laughed if it was me.

    Jan 6, 2014 at 8:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Rachel

      I hope there weren’t two cards circulating and he mixed them up. Some people are awfully touchy about their age, and sincere condolences would not be appreciated.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 11:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   Paula K

    And Lita, yes-PLEASE share!

    Jan 6, 2014 at 8:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   LadyIslay

    My husband sometimes signs group Christmas or Thank-you notes with “Happy Birthday” intentionally just to see if the recipiant is paying attention. I’ve never seen a group sympathy card before. If I found out that he said “Happy Birthday” on something like that, he would probably be in need of a sympathy card of his own.
    I do confess that I once signed a thank-you card completely wrong. It was from a choir. I didn’t know the names of all the choir members. I was handed a card and a pen and said, “here, this is a card for John and Jane.” I assumed we were thanking them for hosting a party at their house, so I said something to that end in my note. (Thank-you for hosting the dinner… you have a lovely home… blah blah blah). Turns out we were thanking *another* couple for singing with us that season (which seems completely odd… I mean, I was the featured soloist that season, and no one gave me a card!).

    Jan 6, 2014 at 10:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   The Elf

      I sometimes sign cards to my husband with “happy anniversary (can’t you think of something?)” because we both love the old BBC production of I, Claudius.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 11:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   The Elf

      Yay! I’m not the only one who knew the reference! I was worried there for a while that maybe I’ve seen it a few too many times…..

      Jan 7, 2014 at 6:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   Quite Contrary

    This card represents the handwriting styles of every office in the country. From the 60-something spinster in the lower left hand corner to the middle aged look and dress alike white men (I’m looking at you Chip and Steve) to the “please dear god, let me find a husband” chick in the lower right hand corner.

    Jan 6, 2014 at 11:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Izzy

      Did you forget any sexist stereotypes? You can tell from a 60-yr-old’s writing if she’s married? What tipped you off?

      Jan 6, 2014 at 7:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.2   Izzy

      So QC’s revolting comment gets 12 likes?? Lots of bitter, angry, loser males on this site I guess.

      Jan 7, 2014 at 2:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.3   H for Toy

      And a couple happily married women who have totally worked in that exact office before. Though, I think my 60-something lower left was divorced, actually. Lighten up Iz. It’s comedy.

      Jan 7, 2014 at 2:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.4   The Elf

      Nope. Just thought it was funny. I mean, it’s pretty clear the comment was not meant seriously.

      And if we’re trotting out stereotypes, why do Chip and Steve have to be middle-aged white men with a corporate look? Middle-aged white men can’t be rebellious? “Chip” and “Steve” can’t be any other race but white? A younger or older person would have been more creative with a response? Oh, but I see. Only worth calling out stereotypes when they’re against women, right?

      Jan 7, 2014 at 4:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.5   Izzy

      Are you really comparing the description “corporate-looking” (since when has that been a derogatory male stereotype?) with mocking women for being old “spinsters” or over 30 and “desperate” for a man? The note wasn’t even about that. This is typical MRA crap and there wasn’t even a shred of evidence for it in the card. Just hearing the mention of women without male partners makes you laugh? Why?

      Jan 7, 2014 at 6:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.6   The Elf

      It’s the idea of attaching office stereotypes to the card that was funny. The fact that it was without evidence added to it. I’m sorry that you didn’t get the joke.

      And yeah, “look alike and dress alike” was clearly an insult in the post. It implied subsuming of personality to corporate culture. I think I’d rather be assumed to be an “old spinster”!

      Jan 8, 2014 at 8:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.7   H for Toy

      There is evidence that Chip and Steve might both be Patty Duke.

      Jan 8, 2014 at 8:22 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.8   The Elf

      It’s a miracle (worker)!

      Jan 8, 2014 at 11:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.9   Izzy

      Office stereotypes, and both female stereotypes are based on them being desperate or sadly having given up on getting a man. What is this, the 1950′s? Yeah, sure you’d rather be called an old spinster or desperate young spinster than someone who dresses like everyone else in the office (who even cares about that?) which I am pretty sure is not a stereotype anyway. You are just lying now, Elf.

      Jan 8, 2014 at 3:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.10   Izzy

      Also, those aren’t office stereotypes except maybe on tv, I mean can you even explain the one about the old spinster? It’s like the mere mention of a woman who is single makes people laugh. That’s why it is sexist.

      You forgot the mention of cats btw. That’s always charming, even though I know equal numbers of men, women, married and single that have cats. I’ve heard people even say women who are making online dating profiles shouldn’t mention they have cats or they will seem desperate. Yeah better to have a dog to sleep with and lick your face. That’s not weird at all.

      I’ve worked in a lot of offices and those examples are pathetic. Really sorry to see them on this site.

      Jan 8, 2014 at 3:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.11   The Elf

      Well, we can agree to disagree on the relative funniness of office stereotypes applied to a sympathy card on a humor site with a comment section known for off-color commentary.

      I don’t disagree with your points regarding stereotypes, the origin of those stereotypes, feminism, and all that jazz. I just think you’re taking this waaaaay too seriously and that you might have mistaken the purpose of this site. I prefer to save my outrage for *actual* societal pressure against single women.

      Now, if you excuse me, my horde of cats require feeding.

      Jan 9, 2014 at 8:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.12   Izzy

      Not trying to drag this out but my point is they are not funny at all and you haven’t explained why they are. And “it’s just a joke” “where’s your sense of humor” is used against women all the time, so I am not too impressed with your feminist credentials. Do you think racist and anti-gay jokes are fine also? I don’t think that is the “point of the site”-the best comments are a lot more real and personal not hackneyed and mean stereotypes.

      “actual societal pressure” against single women frequently comes in the very form of this kind of cruel humor (hence the advice about mentioning cats on singles sites- an example of jokes leading to real effects). Why should single women constantly be the object of these jokes- you think they should just take it in good fun? Really?

      Anyway it looks like my comments have picked up some likes also so I am not alone in my opinions here.

      Jan 12, 2014 at 3:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.13   Snowflame

      Okay….so the lower left hand corner is the sixty-year old divorced man who insincerely claims to be married to his job at every opportunity, the lower right hand corner is the quiet thirty something guy who’s absolutely desperate for a girlfriend but inevitably says something awkward and grossly inappropriate every time a girl even looks at him, and Chip and Steve are actually Sarah and Jenny who dress alike, sound alike, and act like they’re the only ones in the office who actually do any work. Anyone like those stereotypes better?

      Jan 12, 2014 at 4:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.14   Izzy

      ” I prefer to save my outrage for *actual* societal pressure against single women.”

      I’m curious to know what “actual societal pressures against single women” outrage you. How do you express this outrage? And why don’t you consider constant “jokes” and snide remarks as societal pressures? I’ve pointed out that the stereotypes aren’t even true (eg cats) so where do they come from and what purpose do they serve? Something to think about.

      And no, I don’t think the stereotype of the awkward/nerdy/creeper guy is funny either. Another one that is overdone and unnecessarily cruel to the extent that there is any validity to it -believe me the extroverted creeps are far more destructive to society and deserving of our disdain. Why don’t we laugh at them more?

      As far as Snowflame’s other examples- not sure these are stereotypes at all but still not funny to me but could be to others who recognize them. The point is that when the same negative stereotypes about the same people are repeated constantly it’s both abusive and unfunny. The best humor has an element of surprise.

      Jan 12, 2014 at 11:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.15   The Elf

      The “why haven’t you gotten married yet” comments from parents and friends are an example of actual societal pressure against singles women. Men too, but that doesn’t seem to bother you as much.

      The assumption at work that so-and-so can stay late (or work a holiday, or cancel a vacation) and get it done because he/she doesn’t have a family to go home to is another. The societal discouragement towards dining alone, seeing a movie or a show alone, or vacationing alone is pressure against singles. So is setting up “couples only” and “double date” invitations and dropping single friends. Worthy of outrage.

      Single mothers, lambasted for not marrying the fathers of their children, that’s worthy of outrage. In a similar way, preventing single women from adopting or discouraging them from using sperm donors just because there’s no man in the picture, that’s worthy of outrage.

      Making a joke? Not so much.

      Jan 12, 2014 at 2:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.16   kermit

      Oh, for the love of shovelled parking spaces, Izzy.

      The whole effing reason it’s funny is because there is little to no basis to those back stories that QC made up. And it also pokes fun at those people who claim they can read personality from handwriting.

      Some humor relies on the element of setting up an expectation and then surprising the listener. That’s why puns and wordplay are funny. That’s why a guy who sidesteps a banana peel and falls into an open manhole is funny. That’s why a Red’s dad pretending to be dead when he was close to dying is funny.

      Way to suck the joy out of a joke by making us explain it to you.

      Jan 12, 2014 at 4:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.17   Lita bang

      Kermit, I kinda love you a little right now.

      Jan 12, 2014 at 5:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.18   Izzy

      “Men too, but that doesn’t seem to bother you as much.”

      I just took a stand against the “30-yr-old loser nerd too shy too talk to women” stereotype. The other examples were hardly disparaging.

      Nearly all your “outrageous” examples are about singles, not specifically single women. yet men are not mocked anywhere near as much for being single. Can you explain that? You are deluded if you don’t see this and if you deny that the constant mockery has no effect. Why would questions from parents or disapproval from (someone?) over doing things independently be so devastating, yet being the constant brunt of spinster and catlady jokes be harmless fun? Makes zero sense. Yet couples wanting to hang with other couples is a cause for “outrage” LOL.

      Just admit you were wrong already!

      Kermit, that was pathetic. You are grasping at straws now. Really, not so hard to concede that you were wrong.

      Jan 12, 2014 at 11:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.19   Izzy

      should be “you deny that the constant mockery has *an* effect”

      (comment editor did not work)

      Jan 13, 2014 at 12:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.20   kermit

      Questions from family and friends about one’s lifestyle choice/circumstance can be hurtful because those are people who know you, and whose opinion carries a lot more weight than the flippant comments of strangers.

      Wow, you must be a blast at parties, Izzy.

      Note to self: Go to someecards to order “Just admit your were wrong already!” cards to send at Christmas and birthdays.

      Jan 13, 2014 at 12:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.21   kermit


      Only a little?

      *shovels snow back into Lita’s parking space*

      Jan 13, 2014 at 12:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.22   Lita bang

      Now that I’ve had time to consider it, it was quite a bit. Oodles. Bunches. Parking spaces full!

      Can I have my shovel back now?

      Jan 13, 2014 at 4:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.23   The Elf

      Izzy, I really don’t care enough to continue this debate. I didn’t care a few posts ago, but I thought we could at least conclude it. Pretty clear now that isn’t going to happen. I’m sorry you don’t get the joke. We can agree to disagree on the relative funniness of that joke.

      Oh, and concluding that everyone who thumbed the comment about the office stereotypes must be “bitter, angry, loser males”? Thanks for tipping your hand early in the game.

      Jan 13, 2014 at 10:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.24   Izzy

      “Wow, you must be a blast at parties, Izzy. ”

      I can be, but what does that have to do with anything?

      “Thanks for tipping your hand early in the game.”

      Talk about not getting it. :) I think you missed the point of that comment.

      I know it’s hard to admit it when you’re wrong maybe the ecards project will help. Therapy through humor works sometimes when the truth of one’s own hypocrisy is hard to face.

      Good Luck, Elf!

      Jan 15, 2014 at 2:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   Pascale

    I like to think that Sean was doing the classic my-message-is-going-to-be-the-funniest-in-the-office move and has desperately tried to one-up everyone else. He’s probably sitting at his desk right now waiting for the high-fives to roll in

    Jan 6, 2014 at 11:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   mitte

    I’ll be the devil’s advocate here.

    I’m really tired of having greeting cards shoved in my face all the time at work. Having to write something clever or cute in order to wish this or that to people I’ve never even talked to: it seems a little hypocritical to me. And of course I don’t care much about receiving these stupid cards either.

    So it’s perfectly possible that I become at some point that person who signs cards in a completely absentminded way and end up wishing a happy appendisectomy to Pete when I was actually supposed to congratulate Laura on her new car.

    It’s not that I’m stupid, it’s just that I don’t care about people I don’t really know. Nothing personal.

    (I’m exaggerating a bit, but you get the sentiment)

    Jan 6, 2014 at 3:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   joy

      that’s why america/the world is falling apart: people not caring about people they don’t know. just sayin’.

      Jan 8, 2014 at 5:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   Katimomkat

    My father who died a few years ago, had a very wry sense of humor, which, at his memorial service, many of the people who told personal stories of their memories of him mentioned. My brother, who gave one of the 3 official eulogies, began his speach with an example of my Dad’s humor. Dad loved to rock fish along the California coast, and we kids loved to climb down the rocks to collect mussels for his bait. One day, when my brother was about eight, and very proud of his “mussel hunting” skills, my father said to him, “yes son, you are a real Master baiter.” Of course, my brother, being too young to understand the joke, later proudly told my Mom that Dad said he was a real Master baiter. This story elicited a wave of laughter among the attendees. It’s how our Dad would have wanted it, and it was good to have a comic relief in between our tears.

    Jan 6, 2014 at 5:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #24   mutzali

    I’m from a family of 7 kids. When we lost Vince to AIDS, we had a wake at my sister’s house. One of Vince’s friends asked another of my brothers, “Which one are you?”. He answered “Well, I used to be #6, but I just moved up a slot!” She was obviously disgusted with the “irreverence”, but the rest of us agreed it was a Vince-worthy answer.

    Jan 6, 2014 at 6:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   TRT

      Kind Hearts And Coronets. :)

      Jan 7, 2014 at 5:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #25   Lita bang

    Heh, alright, the story of my grandfather’s funeral. :)

    See, ol’ grandpa B was, to put it bluntly, very rich and very mean. He was very fond of throwing fits and cutting my mother, aunt and uncle out of his will if they even dared to blink wrong in his direction. As might be expected, this spawned some rather bad blood, and I believe at the time of the funeral my uncle D had been estranged from grandpa B for years due to all this mess. Honestly, we didn’t even expect him to show up to the funeral.

    He did. He even behaved, to the eyes of anyone who wasn’t actually family.

    He was helping the rabbi (Jewish service) fill in the grave after the service, and he was the one to lay the sod piece atop the grave. He tamped it down numerous times with the shovel, then handed the shovel off to the rabbi and began tamping it very firmly down with his feet.

    Which is when my mother leaned over to me and whispered “He’s probably making sure the bastard is going to STAY dead and buried.”

    And that’s how I ended up hiding a fit of snorty laughter in the middle of the service.

    Jan 6, 2014 at 7:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Lita bang

      …Fill in the grave before the service. *Before*. Sorry about that, pain meds make me oog.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 7:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.2   Tard

      My mother wrote everyone in her family out of the will about two years before she died. She sent everyone a copy along with a personal handwritten “fuck you “note. The wording in the will was unlike anything I’ve ever read in the legal document.

      The funeral was at Arlington national Cemetery
      and the only people who attended were the priest, the funeral director who handles her ashes and my niece who received the entire (large) estate. She
      later admitted she only went in case there was a
      secret clause that prohibited her from receiving the estate if she did not attend the funeral (really).

      My father died seven years before, was in the same
      grave at the cemetery, over 200 people came to his funeral.

      Jan 6, 2014 at 7:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.3   The Elf

      Wow, seriously? I…. I don’t even to what to say. That’s just some crazy family feuding.

      Jan 7, 2014 at 6:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.4   ramentastic

      When my grandmother died she had extracted a promise from my father to put a small film-cartridge filled with my grandfathers ashes in her casket with her (which is totally illegal!) Up for the challenge, my dad promised … so at the viewing I’m walking my 2yr old around, checking for cameras (yes, there were cameras), and then dad and stepmom and I go up to the casket with my squirmy 2yr old who provided a distraction as dad managed to secrete said film-canister under grandmas arm. That was funny enough, but I really lost it the next day at the service when the pastor kept saying “You can’t take it with you,” … well, she took grandpa.

      Jan 7, 2014 at 10:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.5   Poltergeist

      I’m confused. Why would your grandmother’s request be illegal?

      Jan 9, 2014 at 10:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.6   kermit

      Because laws around burials are generally idiotic and written by people who smell too much fromaldehyde.

      In some (most?) places it’s illegal to bury your dead pets in your own back yard. I assume they came up with this law because the mafia tried to claim one of their human victims as a pet.

      Jan 9, 2014 at 10:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.7   ramentastic

      In our state it would count as having multiple bodies in one grave which is against the law.

      Jan 13, 2014 at 11:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #26   AssiveProgressive

    Are these people too PC to pray for Joe and his mother? “I pray that your mother will not be banished to the eternal flames of hell — Peace be with you”

    Jan 7, 2014 at 12:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #27   Me

    I am Sean.. So many of these things go around the office asking for money, etc. Sometimes you just get used to writing happy bday for whoevers turn it is.

    Jan 22, 2014 at 1:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #28   Tavia

    This happened at my office, too! Thankfully we caught it before it went out.

    Jan 27, 2014 at 3:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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