Entries Tagged as 'car'

Parking spots in Boston? It’s snow joking matter.

February 24th, 2015 · 153 Comments

This year, one Boston neighborhood tried to ban the time-honored practice of using space-savers to reserve a parking spot after shoveling it. But old habits die hard…and somewhat violently.

When it comes to space-saving, says our submitter from Boston, “I get it. I respect it!” But after two of her own “space savers” were stolen, she figured the rules were off. One night, she says, “As I was looking for open parking , I pulled into an unclaimed space, thinking, what luck! No chair in sight!” Too good to be true, it turns out. When she returned to her car, she found this. (Thoughtfully kept dry in a plastic bag, I assume.)

You must be new to Boston or just a complete cock sucker because a chair in the space means I worked my ass off shoveling for hours. You're lucky I'm nice, most people would key your car.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Boston…

related: Shoveling and sniveling

extra credit: The social ethics of parking spot savers [wbur.org]

Tags: Boston · parking · snow

But…but…I’m late for bingo!

September 11th, 2014 · 41 Comments

Zee spotted this warning in the basement parking garage of her small senior citizens‘ building in Indiana, where, she says, “a few of the residents prefer posting anonymous notes to dealing with their issues directly.”

*PLEASE* SLOW DOWN SPEED IS 10 MPH NEXT TIME I WILL PUBLISH YOUR NAME AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!

…and other residents, not so much.

If you know their name, why not talk to them directly - or to the board - instead of leaving a passive-aggressive note?

related: That means you, young man in the blue Subaru!!

Tags: driving · Indiana · old folks · rebuttals · you know who you are

Yours truly, Benz

March 24th, 2014 · 46 Comments

Mercedes-Benz owners, as we’ve seen before, don’t often try to disprove their reputation for douchebaggery. But, as Jane in Ithaca reports, nothing stirs up self-righteousness quite like residential on-street parking!

I'm forced to park like an asshole when other assholes park like assholes. Welcome to on street parking. Yours truly, Benz

related: Your parking job brings one word to mind…

extra credit: BMW drivers really are jerks, studies find [marketwatch.com]

Tags: parking

Can’t you go back to parking down by the river?

March 5th, 2014 · 67 Comments

Writes Jack in Seattle: “A friend of ours is a professional tile setter and general handyman. Sometimes he stays over and parks his work van on our block. We found this note on his windshield one morning after Sunday brunch. It’s so typically ‘Seattle’ it’s hard to be offended.”

No offense but this van looks hella creepy at night.  can you park it in front of someone else's house from now on.  I'd really appreciate it.  Thanks :) -easily creeped out neighbor

Meanwhile, Charon noticed that this van-owner in Couer d’Alene, Idaho did get offended, “apparently because he owns a creepy van and people pointed out that it was creepy.”

hey lady I own a home next to the school, I like this van, and now I've been profiled for driving home. I work at the Hayden Library, my wife nurses the dying, you owe us an apology.

P.S. Van owner: Maybe “I own a home next to the school” wasn’t the best way to get your point across here?

related: I don’t know you, and this is crazy…but your boyfriend’s hot, and your parking’s lazy.

extra credit: the 10 creepiest vans [jalopnik.com]

Tags: Idaho · kinda creepy · parking · Seattle · smiley

I don’t know you, and this is crazy, but your boyfriend’s hot, and your parking’s lazy.

February 3rd, 2014 · 80 Comments

Writes Candice in Kansas: “I woke up to this on my car this morning. I don’t not know if I should be pissed they are creepin’ on my man or to just laugh uncontrollably.”

(Dear notewriter: Notice she didn’t say “…or stop parking there.”)

Hi, I don't really know you, in fact, I don't at all! You live upstairs and have a hot boyfriend/maybe just a roommate or friend with an adorable puppy. One time, however, you did give me a dirty look, but I've gotten over it. I write this to beg you to stop being lazy with your parking. I get it, t's cold. Life sucks and who wants to park in back. But where you parked now is blocking cars from getting in the drive. You totally are an inventor because you invented some new LAZY GIRL SPOT that's 4 feet from the door! I think you're a brilliant inventor but maybe move back 10 feet. You're not the only person alive! p.s. SORRY NOTE SORRY I love your boyfriend

related: She’s mine. All mine!

 

Tags: Kansas · kinda creepy · neighbors · parking

Greetings from the Polar Vortex

January 8th, 2014 · 126 Comments

Writes Steve in Boston: “This note cracks me up because it is, on the one hand, a request for more civility and, on the other hand, a not so thinly veiled threat.” (How so very Boston!)

By City of Boston law, I am entitled to save this spent after having spent an hour of backbreaking work shoveling. I hope you with respect your neighbors next time, you piece of shit. Love, Vigilante Justice P.S. Happy Holidays!

related: Can you dig it?

extra credit: Boston’s “parking chair” law [washingtonpost.com]

Tags: Boston · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · parking

Drivers of Walmart

November 1st, 2013 · 61 Comments

Sarah spotted this lovely handpainted sign just down the street from Walmart in a small town in Washington state.

Slow down dumbass. WalMart is open 24 hours!

Meanwhile, in another small town across the country, Megan in Virginia spotted this car in her local Walmart parking lot.

A 'man' driver did this!

related: That means you young man in the blue Subaru!!

Tags: car · driving · most popular notes of 2013 · small town living

Begging for a backstory

October 28th, 2013 · 38 Comments

Carolyn and her husband were intrigued by this message on a car they spotted at a roadside farmer’s market in Maryland. “We desperately wanted to know who the driver was and who wrote it,” Carolyn says. “Unfortunately, we never got to see either before we left.”

Bad Driver good girlfriend tho

So, what do you imagine the story is here?

related: What does your car say about you?

Tags: driving · Maryland · public shaming

Gee, I’m glad my car could ease your conscience

September 9th, 2013 · 76 Comments

Courtney’s friend Tom found this note — from our newest contender for douchecanoe of the year) — on the windshield of his Toyota FJ Cruiser.

Hi, I hit your lower passenger side bumper on my way into the spot next to you. I guess that is what happens when you drive a gas-guzzling wanna-be Jeep — so I don't feel so bad.  Hope you have insurance!

related: Yeah, I dinged your car, but you kinda deserved it

Tags: car · don't blame us · Park City · parking · questionable logic

I hope…

August 22nd, 2013 · 50 Comments

Lately, whenever I read a note like this, I can’t help but think of this bit by Louis CK:

Exhibit a) Spotted independently by both Kendy and Jane on the front gate of a cottage in a small English village. Writes Kendy: “I was surprised that in such a peaceful little place there were thieves bold enough to steal a child’s toy — and equally bold locals willing to publish their death wish to said thief!”

To the person who stole my 4 year old grandaughter's paddling pool, I hope you drown in it.

Exhibit b) From an office in Texas

To the lowlife who's been stealing people's lunches: I hope you develop chronic hemorrhoids.

Exhibit c) Found by John in Atlanta on the windshield of his car — which was parked just fine, he adds!

Dear Motherfucker, You park like an asshole I hope your kids get addicted to drugs. (Heart) Jack

Exhibit d) Also from Atlanta, specifically the campus of Georgia Tech — Justin says this was posted by every bike rack in the vicinity of the Electrical Engineering building. (So he ripped one down, took it home, and scanned it.)

Did you take a red Specialized bike from Van Leer on 1 Feb at noon? FUCK YOU. I hope you have an aneurysm and rot in a ditch. I am going to spend the rest of my days tracking you down. I will find you. You will never sleep again. No god will save you. I am coming for you.

related: Wishin’ and hopin’

Tags: parking · stealing