So, this is what you’ll see if you visit Whitehouse.gov right now. Sigh.

related: Governor of California to State Senate: “Get Stuffed.”

extra credit: John Boehner’s Shutdown [nytimes.com]

Courtney’s friend Tom found this note — from our newest contender for douchecanoe of the year) — on the windshield of his Toyota FJ Cruiser.

related: Yeah, I dinged your car, but you kinda deserved it

As if the clients pissing in the trash cans weren’t enough…the owner of this tanning salon in Boston also can’t afford spellcheck.

related: In case you were wondering why we’re closed

At Westside Market in New York City, a cheesemonger gives his final two (hundred and ninety-nine) cents:

related: Don’t blame us — blame the crazy lady!

extra credit: Meet The Mysterious Cheesemonger Behind The Quotable Fromage [gothamist.com]

extra extra credit: A Collection of Curiously Eccentric Cheese Labels [nymag.com]

“One of our local parks has a busy tea shop that’s popular with walkers, cyclists, families and people exercising their dogs,” says Clive in Brighton. “I don’t blame them for getting fed up with demanding dog owners, and I suppose a note is one way to communicate, but in rhyme? And, worse, rhyme this bad?”

related: A polite notice to the owner of this marvelous vehicle

No, the London riots aren’t really “funny,” but Rachael wasn’t the only one who found the note of gallows humor in this notice — from a U.K. Subway sandwich shop — to be worth a second glance.

Coincidentally, on the very same day, Rebecca in Cincinnati snapped a photo of this sign — which seemed to me like something straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale. Despite the dramatic wording, Rebecca says the chaos at hand here was actually a missing replica T-Rex tooth from a display at The Creation Museum (where she was guilt-tripped into going by her less irreverent extended family).

related: Are you ready for your Rapture party?

Okay, so I’ve gotta give Scott credit here. I know I’m not the only driver who’s had the frustrating experience of returning to your parked car to find some mysterious new dent or scratch with the perpetrator long gone and no note in sight. Or perhaps you’ve been on the other side of things, and justified not leaving a note because the idiot had parked too damn close or in an non-legal parking spot or whatnot.

And yet, says our puzzled submitter, “I was pulled fully into a parking space, well within the white lines, with space on both sides. Why does he try to ‘kind of’ make it my fault?”

(I’m guessing it’s because he’s “kind of” passive-aggressive.)

Of course, I’d say that’s still preferable to receiving a note from someone who’s “kind of” a total asshole…

related: Your parking job brings one word to mind

…the proprietors of this Toronto bar will leave you pondering some different questions instead.

Meanwhile, as Will observed, a Shell station in Austin apparently abides by a similar “honesty is the best” policy.

…as does a shopping center in Tyler, Texas, where Erin spotted this explanation (on a 100-degree July day).

Similar venting was on display at a store in Ironton, Ohio. (“For the record, I cannot validate whether or not the ‘oner’ was an in fact an asshole,” says submitter Meagan.)

And smetimes, of course, brutal honesty isn’t enough.

So really, why bother with an explanation at all?

related: Closed for good! Remember that the cheese loved you more than you loved it.

Writes Rebecca in Staunton, Virginia:  “My college dining hall is pretty awful. The food isn’t very good and the lines are always incredibly long.  So, when we had our Thanksgiving dinner a couple days ago (one of the few meals where the food is actually good and we can serve ourselves), naturally people got over-excited and took more food than the dining hall expected.  The next day, we found this little ‘apology’ taped over the menu suggestion box and on every single table.”

related: don’t blame us