Just a reminder, folks: updating your newsfeed = not actually the same thing as genuine social interaction.

related: Because you’re not really knocked up until Facebook says so
extra credit: Facebook is bad and makes you feel bad [newyorker.com]

Here’s how Connie explains the situation: “I’m selling my house and moving to a new town. I’ve had an outdoor cat for almost five years, and she doesn’t do well indoors. Since it looks like I’ll end up in an apartment for the first year, I’m trying to find a new home for her. I made the mistake of asking a coworker who is passionate about his pets — seriously, he loves them more than people — and I thought he was just having a little fun with me when he bashed me for ‘throwing her away.’ I laughed and just told him to ask around and let me know.”

Here’s how Connie’s coworker chose to do that:

related: Sorry, my friends don’t eat cat.

extra credit: The saga of the passive-aggressive “lost cat” poster 

You might recall this epic note — the obnoxious vegan roommate who “forbade” her roommate from bringing animal products into the apartment. Our original submitter writes in to say that since that showdown, she decided to move out (in favor of a more omnivore-friendly living environment).

“After almost five months of zero communication,” she reports, “my ex-roomie started texting me out of nowhere. It appears her vegan fanaticism is still putting her at odds with others.”

related: My self-righteous vegan roommate

From Austin, Texas: a last-ditch attempt to get rid of a houseguest who took “Mi casa es su casa” a bit too literally…

related: Couchsurfing Greg gets pissed

So, like, “our friend got really drunk and stayed in our room, but when she got up to pee, she opened up the door to our suitemate’s room instead of the bathroom and peed on the rug,” writes our submitter in California. “It was apparently his favorite rug and since he’s spoiled, he asked her to get him a new one.”

Um, okay. “Spoiled,” or not, I’m gonna have to side with the dude here. Offering to clean/replace the rug seems like the very least Drunky McDrunkface could do, no?

related: You’re not wrong, Walter.

So, Dana was hanging out at a friend’s place with a bunch of people, and — as many people do these days — was texting back and forth with her significant other in the midst of the conversation. Our submitter didn’t give any indication that this was a formal dinner party or anything like that, but apparently the host was so enraged by Dana’s breach of etiquette that he or she left the room to type, print, and sign this note, and then — due to the lack of an available notary public — handed it directly to Dana.

related: We’re ALL busy, man.

…it just takes a true frenemy to actually say it.

related: Busy, but not too busy for the important things in life…like Farmville.

So, these two crazy kids (both of whom still live with their parents, according to our submitter), had a lil’ accident. A really exciting one! So exciting they decided the best way to share the news was en masse, via Facebook status update! So be excited for them, dammit!!!

related: Children are such a blessing.

Thanks for not buying me the Diaper Genie I registered for!!!

…especially when the invitation is extended via your Facebook wall to everyone you know.

Or (oopsies!) almost everyone you know.

related: Your Facebook friends…just not that into you.

extra credit: STFU, Parents

Facebook: always there to remind you of all the fun you’re not having.

related: Socializing (you’re doing it wrong)