The attack:

And the riposte:

related: Have your people call my people

Thanks to the magic of analytics, I’m able to see the unique search queries that bring people to this little website — and unique they are! (For many people, Google seems to serve much the same function as a Magic 8 ball.) If you’re feeling voyeuristic, take a peek below at some of the more, shall we say, interesting questions that somehow led people to PassiveAggressiveNotes.com over the past year.

—if you dig in indiana far down enough will you hit diamonds
—what does an orange grow up to be
—do they eat cupcakes in africa
—can coffee creamer hurt you?
—can cereal kill you
—what the fuck is rice

—is there a penalty if your tooth is put under yoru pillow late
—my mom always drags me to a barber for a hair cut why??
—how do you run away from your mum forever
—how do u get into your babysitters pants
—how to ask a girl who doesn’t know you to sign your yearbook
—what happens if you dont wash your hands after masturbating and can you get stds from it

[Read more →]

Clarissa in Portland, Oregon dutifully passed along this e-mail from her boss. I normally don’t like to encourage this sort of thing, but, well, ’tis the season for shameless self-promotion. So, uh, take from Mel?

“Seriously, I have their calendar and I love it.” —Melanie, Administrative Projects Coordinator

related: Ceci n’est pas une note passif-agressif

extra credit: The PAN 2013 Page-a-Day Calendar. Seriously.

“I’m sure they didn’t actually paint the toilet seats,” says Brett in Syracuse. And yet, he says, when he saw this sign posted by a former co-worker, “I couldn’t stop laughing about the idea that that’s what got her.”

Perhaps a few signs like this (as spotted by Madeline at her university’s art studio) would have made for a proper rebuttal?

related: Ceci n’est pas une note passif-agressif

“My office just got a new style of paper which has caused quite the stir,” says our submitter in Seattle. “It’s made from forested trees, or something like that, so obviously we can’t wait to use it.”

related: Nothing fosters community like shared network printers!

This note was spotted by Sara at the downtown Alamo Cinema Drafthouse in Austin, seemingly written by an employee channeling Amy Poehler’s character in Wet Hot American Summer.

Seriously guys, amirite?!?

related: Now finish up them taters, I’m gonna go fondle my sweaters

Is it executive exceptionalism at work here? Supreme lack of self-awareness? A wicked sense of humor? You decide.

Exhibit a) from Reva in Reedsburg, Wisconsin

Exhibit b) from Peggy at the University of New Brunswick

Exhibit c) from Jess in San Francisco

related: Please respect my fellow employees and stop leaving notes

Now, if you wouldn’t mind taking a moment out of your busy schedule of sport and/or shopping to bestow a bit of charity on those you live with?

(Cheers to our submitter Victoria, her mates at Oxford, and their disgusting flatties.)

related: ceci n’est pas une note passif-agressif

Alice in York, U.K. spotted this little work of art in the kitchen she shares with — yikes — fourteen other people.

Now, you wizened old troublemakers might skim past this as a throwaway…but thanks to this month’s Passive-Aggressive Notes gallery show at London’s kk outlet, little gems like this are — at least for a few more weeks — getting the treatment they deserve!

So if you’re in London this month, check it out! or, you know, don’t. Whatever.

extra credit: More photos from the opening at kk outlet

LJ, a student at Mississippi State University, was up late one night writing a paper when her roommate asked her to stop — the noise of her typing was keeping her up. “I had a paper to write and i didn’t think I was making enough noise to warrant moving my workstation outside, so, I stayed put,” LJ says. “After she threw a huffing, puffing, tantrum and left to sleep in the lobby, I finished my paper and went to bed.”

The next morning, she awoke to a bathroom filled with notes like this one:

LJ decided to respond by giving her roomie a little taste of her own medicine. (Whether the irony was intentional or not, I’m not quite sure.)

Ah, the joys of dormitory living!

related: oh, the irony