Really, some people are just better off living alone.

Presented in order of appearance:

related: What’s harder than changing the toilet paper roll?

At Summer’s office in Austin, there are a few known “soakers” who constantly leave their dirty dishes in their sink. Apparently, the office soothsayer has had about enough of this practice.

(click the image below to enlarge)

P.S. I kinda have a crush on this sign.

related: Things not to flush down the toilet: your hopes, your dreams…your sweaters

Kate in Melbourne caught a glimpse of this note from the street, and it looked so ridiculous that she snuck into the private lot to get a closer look. Adds Kate: “I imagine this person is quite popular with the neighbours.”

(By the way, Kate apologizes for the poor resolution of the photos; she only had her mobile phone with her at the time.)

related: Dear self-appointed parking cop: please direct your anger and self-righteousness elsewhere.

extra credit: This kid parallel parks better than I do [youtube]

Writes Randall, of xkcd fame: “This is a box of rice I found in our apartment’s fridge. I’m guessing it belonged to Tedd.”

That extra “d” sure seems to have given Tedd a bit of unresolved rage, huh?

related: How would you feel if I used up all of your “whatever?”

Writes Carolyn in Brooklyn: “My youngest daughter, Annisa, clearly had a problem with her recalcitrant tooth fairy. This is a series of letters, including an envelope, that I saved from her early years. I have no doubt that her finely tuned negotiating skills were developed as a result.” The best part? Annisa, who just turned 31 on Saturday, is now — no joke — a Director of Human Resources.”

(I really didn’t think this tooth-fairy letter could be topped, but in terms of sheer precociousness — not to mention determination — I think we have a new winner.)

related: Look, Tooth Fairy, here’s the deal.

“When I moved in a year ago, my roommate was an ovo-lacto vegetarian, whereas I was (and still am) an omnivore,” explains our submitter in Brooklyn. “She used to not care about my eating habits, but about four months ago she decided to become a full-blown vegan and has been insufferable since then. Yesterday I went food shopping for myself, and when I came back from work today I found this letter on my bedside table.”

(Yeah, the writing is a little hard to read — just wait for the page to load completely, and then click the images below to enlarge.)

related: Carnivore? Keep being awesome!

Relentless exposure to awful puns hasn’t yet been explicitly singled out as a form of torture, but employees at this office in Australia might be able to make the case that it qualifies as “extreme mental distress.”

Apparently the strategy here was that for every day the kitchen’s cutlery situation went unresolved, up went another note — with progressively groan-worthy puns each time. (It took until “Spatchalator” for someone to cry uncle.)

related: This vending machine doesn’t work…it just sits around collecting unemployment.

Jillian and her roommates in Massachusetts recently found this note — which goes from 0 to 60 in half a page — outside their apartment door. At the time it was left, says Jillian: “None of us were home except the dog, who apparently needs to lose weight.”

But hey, neighbor? Even if they had been home, ignoring a knock hardly seems grounds for jumping straight to burning the mail. Apparently it is not a good month for chilling the fuck out.

related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper

From a convenience store in Florida:

A petting zoo in Virginia:

And a U.S. Army post in Washington State:

(Thanks to Nicolette, Gaby, and Kharissa for submitting!)

related: Is this a thing now?

I happen to have a lot of friends who are teachers, and it kills me when they say things like, “Oh, I confiscated the funniest passive-aggressive note today from a kid in my class. I wish I could give it to you, but I don’t want to lose my job.” (Of course, given the state of education funding in Texas, that’s not mere paranoia talking.)

Luckily, there are enough self-aware parents out there like Carmen (a.k.a. “drunk mommy”) to fill the kids say the dardnest fuckin’ shit category of notes that some of you love and some of you can’t stand.

One of those parents is Sheila in Indiana. Her first grader, Andrew, “has had a rough year,” Sheila says, “and is in trouble for talking too much every single day.” When she gave him a card to sign for Teacher Appreciation Day, this is what he wrote.

Meanwhile, Jessie in Utah says that for teacher appreciation day at her first grader’s school, the kids were all asked to write something they appreciated about their teacher on paper butterflies displayed on the door and wall outside the classroom. The anonymous nature of the project seems to have yielded mixed results.

To wrap things up, I just had to pull out this first grader’s letter from the archives. (And no, like many notes on this site, it isn’t passive-aggressive — or even mean-spirited — just adorably bizarre.)

related: (Not) so nice, (Not) so smart