Here it is: a look back at your favorite notes of 2012, from heartbroken kids to self-righteous vegans and everywhere in between. (Just click on any of the notes to see the original post, with context.)

But first — drumroll please — our two leading candidates vying for the title of 2012 douchecanoe of the year!

Of course, you could also vote for a third party candidate. Which write-ins are missing from the race? Cast your votes in the comments!

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I’ve spent most of the day curled up reading John Irving’s latest, In One Person (“a compelling novel of desire, secrecy, and sexual identity.”) And yet, since stumbling across this novella — from an office fridge in Maryland — I’ve had but one phrase echoing in my head: “We are not so unalike, [you and I]. I, too, have a deep love of salad.”

related: “Someday when you’re wondering why you’re alone…”

Our submitter in Texas — where we are currently experiencing out annual three days of winter — spotted this note posted yesterday on the office fridge. “I know who ate the ‘chili,’” our submitter claims, “because I heard her comment on how she knew it must be organic because the true owner was a hippie.”

related: Don’t get mad, get creative!

extra credit: The Original Fridge Locker

A certain supervisor thought his assistant, Sandra, was attracting too much idle chatter from other people in the office, so he made this framed notice for her desk. (Because that’s not creepy at all.)

“No word yet on how many contributions he’s received,” our submitter says.

related: The Man is always watching

Thx Sandra!!!

Writes our submitter, Iris: “East London’s Brick Lane is the city’s hipster epicenter. A nearby pub had clearly had enough of being flooded by ironic facial hair and cardigans.”

related: Unattended children will be shot.

extra credit: It’s Movember! 

“We believe in a generous America, in a compassionate America, in a tolerant America…We are greater than the sum of our individual ambitions and we remain more than a collection of red states and blue states. We are, and forever will be, the United States of America.” —President Obama, in his election-night acceptance speech

Meanwhile, in Rochester Hills, Michigan:

Rob says this anonymous note was attached to a canned good collected his son’s Boy Scout Troop. “I’m not sure what type of ‘adult’ deems a canned food drive for the less fortunate as a worthy platform for spewing political vitriol to the Boy Scouts who collected the food, but one can only hope that the next four years brings prosperity for everyone except this self-righteous idiot.”

related post: ¡Bienvenido! Mi casa no es su casa.

extra credit: The 20 Biggest Sore Losers of Election Night [salon.com]

Intel, UPS halt funding to Boy Scouts Over Anti-Gay Discrimination [AP]

Writes Catherine in Melbourne: “I was preparing breakfast in the office kitchen when I opened the fridge and reached for the margarine tub to butter my toast. Ten seconds later, I was fearing for my life.”

related: I Can’t Believe It’s Not (My) Butter

extra credit: Australians Losing Their Taste for Vegemite [time.com]

Several months ago, Kenney in Sydney moved in with some new housemates. Last week, he happened to park in a different spot in the driveway. (“We had been asked to not park in the garage as it was used as a gym/personal trainer studio.”)

“The next morning,” he says, “I found this ‘anonymous’ note — despite having just talked with the person responsible, without any mention of their concern.” By way of a response, Kenney decided to give the note the red pen treatment.

related: I give your passive-aggressive note a C-

Spotted by Gretchen in the resort town of Mount Maunganui, New Zealand:

related: A clue that your whole “half-caf, extra hot, non-fat dressing-on-the-side” thing might be a bit much

I know I’m asking for trouble here, but when John in Missouri passed along this exchange between his father’s neighbor (an “interested animal lover”) and his father (a reluctant one), I just couldn’t resist.

Confidential to John’s Dad: I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

related: The Great Outdoor Cat Debate of 2012