Entries Tagged as 'nonsensical spacing'

Deck you, neighbor.

September 6th, 2012 · 218 Comments

Travis in Minnesota says this note was dropped in his mailbox by some anonymous neighbor who had apparently been fixated on watching him build his backyard deck.

“I was surprised that anyone noticed, let alone went through the trouble to write a full-page complaint,” Travis says. “However, he’s right in that, as one person working on the occasional free night and on weekends, it did take me a full year to complete the project.”

Hello sir, we've been watching you.  We've seen how hard you worked, how long and tirelessly you worked to construct a deck for your family. Let us be the first to give you a back handed compliment by saying

Adds Travis: “I think the strangest part of the note is the challenge to my masculinity. I’m glad that someone finally told me that it’s more manly to pay for someone to do a job for you than to do it yourself. Here I was, all this time, thinking it was just the opposite. Boy, is my face red!”

P.S. If you’re curious, here’s a photo of the deck. I think it’s quite nice.

The deck in question

related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper

Tags: crazypants · just an asshole · just kidding! · Minnesota · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · nonsensical spacing · signed with love · spelling and grammar police · unsolicited feedback · WTF? · your/you're

We all need somebody to hate on

June 4th, 2008 · 152 Comments

“Working in a university library, you get used to a lot of ‘quirky’ personalities,” says our anonymous submitter in Manhattan, Kansas. “So far, this is the only one that has decided to put pathology to paper.”

we all need somebody to hate on

Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · exclamation-point happy!!!! · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Kansas · nonsensical spacing · touching

Post-punctuationism

August 21st, 2007 · 81 Comments

Explains Sarah in New York City: “One lab in the building where I work has covered the walls outside their lab with candid photos of the lab members. Over time, some of these photos got some ‘modifications’ from passers-by, such as a mustache or horns here or there.  (Mature, I know.) Today, I noticed the photos were gone.” In their place…

To the budding Van Gogh of the floor. If I catch you doodling on OUR pictures it will NOT be your ear, I will cut. Come and see me! Love Jessie x7663

UPDATE: Sarah provides a look at the note in context. (Unfortunately, without the original “artwork.”)

To the budding Van Gogh of the floor. If I catch you doodling on OUR pictures it will NOT be your ear, I will cut. Come and see me! Love Jessie x7663

Tags: excessive underlining · graffiti · more aggressive than passive · New York · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · office · signed with love · You call that punctuation?

Don’t hate the playa

August 12th, 2007 · 115 Comments

Our anonymous submitter lives in a 30-story condo building in Chicago. Her father works in the same building, and received this note in the suggestion box.

“I found the letter slipped under my door one day,” she says. “My dad had put it there after reading it with his boss. I’m sure he’s damn proud of his little girl!”

In her defense, our submitter believes the notes allegations to be more than a bit exaggerated. “I have never (that I can remember) regurgitated in the garage,” she says, adding, in the immortal words of Salt n Pepa: “If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight/IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”

This is to inform you that the tenant who lives on floor [redacted] appears to be having drug and alcohol problems.

Tags: Chicago · danger · drizzunk · drugs · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Moms & Dads · neighbors · noise · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police

Refrain/stop/discontinue

July 18th, 2007 · 41 Comments

“This note appeared in the office kitchen on the fridge next to our fancy Keurig coffee machines,” says our submitter in New York City. “The coffee pods are set out on the counter in a display, but when people couldn’t find their flavor of choice, they’d go into the cabinets to find it.”

Trying to understand this sign-maker’s design process (“No, still not clear enough. let’s hit return again, center-justify, underline AND change the color?”) makes my head hurt.

ONCE AGAIN PLEASE REFRAIN (STOP) FROM OPENING COFFEE BOXES THAT ARE IN THE CABINET. THIS MAKES IT DIFFICULT WHEN IT COMES TO ORDERING COFFEE. IF THIS CONTINUES THE COFFEE SERVICE IN THIS PANTRY WILL HAVE TO BE DISCONTINUED. THANK YOU

Adds our submitter: “Sure enough, not long after this note went up, coffee service was discontinued.” (It has since resumed.)

Tags: bizarro spacing · bold-underlined-caps · coffee · fun with synonyms · New York · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · office