Entries Tagged as 'nonsensical spacing'
Travis in Minnesota says this note was dropped in his mailbox by some anonymous neighbor who had apparently been fixated on watching him build his backyard deck.
“I was surprised that anyone noticed, let alone went through the trouble to write a full-page complaint,” Travis says. “However, he’s right in that, as one person working on the occasional free night and on weekends, it did take me a full year to complete the project.”
![Hello sir, we've been watching you. We've seen how hard you worked, how long and tirelessly you worked to construct a deck for your family. Let us be the first to give you a back handed compliment by saying "good job on building something half as good as your neighbors in more than 52X the time" We know you've worked very hard on this...structure, and we'd just like to say we're proud of you for FINALLY finishing But we are also very very very disappointed I mean really it literally took you a year you see that glistening shiny white deck over there? Ya that took them a week You should feel ashamed I wouldn't wipe my butt with your deck (your deck a.k.a. butt) just kidding sir, you've done an [sic] spectacular job on this amazing octagonal deck just kidding again! You are not spectacular in any way at all maybe you should consider paying someone who knows what their [sic] doing next time do you know how many jokes we've made about this thing? It took you 12 months! 365 days! 8,765.81277 hours to make this octagon. One good thing we can say about you is how persistent you are! Most people would have given up and called someone competent by this point, but I guess your [sic] special (smiley face) If you find this letter creepy it's ok, your family's been thinking almost everything we've said. We know. Maybe one day you'll grow some real balls and your wife won't complain about your performance anymore. I know we've been harsh, but just know if comes from a good place. It's tough love We didn't mean to be rude, but we're not double checking what we wrote We hope you can take this friendly advice and be a better person for it. You can build from this experience...just no more decks, please. Honestly, we are proud of you. You did it! No joke.. Love, Entire neighborhood P.S I googled crappy decks and I got a picture of yours Hello sir, we've been watching you. We've seen how hard you worked, how long and tirelessly you worked to construct a deck for your family. Let us be the first to give you a back handed compliment by saying](http://farm9.static.flickr.com/8034/7940687646_0279edd160_b.jpg)
Adds Travis: “I think the strangest part of the note is the challenge to my masculinity. I’m glad that someone finally told me that it’s more manly to pay for someone to do a job for you than to do it yourself. Here I was, all this time, thinking it was just the opposite. Boy, is my face red!”
P.S. If you’re curious, here’s a photo of the deck. I think it’s quite nice.

related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper
Tags: crazypants · just an asshole · just kidding! · Minnesota · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · nonsensical spacing · signed with love · spelling and grammar police · unsolicited feedback · WTF? · your/you're
“Working in a university library, you get used to a lot of ‘quirky’ personalities,” says our anonymous submitter in Manhattan, Kansas. “So far, this is the only one that has decided to put pathology to paper.”

Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · exclamation-point happy!!!! · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Kansas · nonsensical spacing · touching
Explains Sarah in New York City: “One lab in the building where I work has covered the walls outside their lab with candid photos of the lab members. Over time, some of these photos got some ‘modifications’ from passers-by, such as a mustache or horns here or there. (Mature, I know.) Today, I noticed the photos were gone.” In their place…

UPDATE: Sarah provides a look at the note in context. (Unfortunately, without the original “artwork.”)

Tags: excessive underlining · graffiti · more aggressive than passive · New York · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · office · signed with love · You call that punctuation?
Our anonymous submitter lives in a 30-story condo building in Chicago. Her father works in the same building, and received this note in the suggestion box.
“I found the letter slipped under my door one day,” she says. “My dad had put it there after reading it with his boss. I’m sure he’s damn proud of his little girl!”
In her defense, our submitter believes the notes allegations to be more than a bit exaggerated. “I have never (that I can remember) regurgitated in the garage,” she says, adding, in the immortal words of Salt n Pepa: “If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight/IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”
![This is to inform you that the tenant who lives on floor [redacted] appears to be having drug and alcohol problems. This is to inform you that the tenant who lives on floor [redacted] appears to be having drug and alcohol problems.](http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1185/1098467618_e852cb6820.jpg)
Tags: Chicago · danger · drizzunk · drugs · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Moms & Dads · neighbors · noise · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police
“This note appeared in the office kitchen on the fridge next to our fancy Keurig coffee machines,” says our submitter in New York City. “The coffee pods are set out on the counter in a display, but when people couldn’t find their flavor of choice, they’d go into the cabinets to find it.”
Trying to understand this sign-maker’s design process (“No, still not clear enough. let’s hit return again, center-justify, underline AND change the color?”) makes my head hurt.

Adds our submitter: “Sure enough, not long after this note went up, coffee service was discontinued.” (It has since resumed.)
Tags: bizarro spacing · bold-underlined-caps · coffee · fun with synonyms · New York · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · office