Writes our anonymous submitter: “After a year of passive-aggressive and straight-up rude behavior, my roommate left me this card to sum up just how wonderful of a person she is. Safe to say we won’t be bunking together again next year?”

related: Oh, gaufre yourself.

Writes our submitter in Texas: “We live on a military installation, where the housing is notoriously small and right on top of each other. We’ve gotten to know our neighbors very well, and the author of this note is most likely someone we consider a good friend.”

Our submitter humble-brags that yes, his wife is incredibly attractive, but insists that her clothing isn’t overtly “sexy” — tank tops and shorts, yes, but not crop tops and hot pants.  However, he says, “Since we discovered this on Friday, my wife has taken to wearing baggy t-shirts and sweatpants when she’s out in the yard. I don’t blame her one bit.”

Amping up the creepiness factor, our submitter adds that his wife DOES own a pair of pink shoes – but she’s never worn them outside the house.

related: (Don’t fear) the creeper

So, this happened.

And Dani in Texas…thanks for sharing?

related: A nasty twist on “Man Bites Dog”
extra credit: Nance Bodean’s Guide to Power Walking [youtube]

Writes Steve in Boston: “This note cracks me up because it is, on the one hand, a request for more civility and, on the other hand, a not so thinly veiled threat.” (How so very Boston!)

related: Can you dig it?

extra credit: Boston’s “parking chair” law [washingtonpost.com]

Precious in Texas says that whenever her mother comes over to visit, “all she wants to do is clean my messy house.” One day, Precious says, her daughter, Allison — along with Allison’s 5-year-old cousin — decided to take matters into their own hands, writing this warning and handing it to their grandma “fast mail.” As for Grandma’s response, says Precious, “I had to read it to her because she was laughing so hard.”

related: Never put nature aside for television

You might recall the letter that Bill and Mara received from a stranger informing that “no one cares about your damn wedding.” Despite Andrew from the Internet’s professed apathy, it seems he had enough time on his hands to not just comb through Bill’s blog, but Bill and Mara’s wedding guestbook as well.

Bill says a family member, mistakenly assuming that the guestbook entries could only be viewed by friends and family, left a note about having moved, including their new address. “We soon caught the message and removed the address,” Bill says, “but not before Andrew saw the page.”

related: My name is Andrew, and I’m from the Internet.

Spring is here! (Maine, unfortunately, didn’t get the memo.)

related: Snow shoveling etiquette

Writes Matt in West Hollywood: “Apparently a certain ‘Alex’ in our neighborhood has been downing protein smoothies and then discarding the cups on the street.” Not cool, man. Not cool.

related: The City of Brotherly Littering

It turns out Harry Potter had more than a little in common with his jerk of a father. (And yes, James Potter was a jerk — Yahoo! Answers says so!)

Meanwhile, on Diagon Alley…

related: Do these stilettos match my broomstick?

extra credit: How P-A Harry Potter fans deal with junk mail

extra extra credit: We Are Wizards [hulu.com]

Our submitter in Vancouver, Washington says this note was slipped under her door after her daughter was sent to her room following a disagreement about doing the dishes. Adds Mom: “I like that the poop is just there — not telling me I smell like poop, or to eat poop. Just…poop.”

related: Buckets of my tears