Writes our submitter in Cambridge, UK: “There’s a master’s student living in our shared student house — the kind who lives off hemp protein and lentils. Anyway, the house has an hallway running through the middle, with his room on one side and a landing on the other. This note appeared on the landing the other day. I think it has the perfect combination of smiley faces, violent threats, love and climate change.”

related: Pure, unadulterated corporate greed! 

Writes Jack in Seattle: “A friend of ours is a professional tile setter and general handyman. Sometimes he stays over and parks his work van on our block. We found this note on his windshield one morning after Sunday brunch. It’s so typically ‘Seattle’ it’s hard to be offended.”

Meanwhile, Charon noticed that this van-owner in Couer d’Alene, Idaho did get offended, “apparently because he owns a creepy van and people pointed out that it was creepy.”

P.S. Van owner: Maybe “I own a home next to the school” wasn’t the best way to get your point across here?

related: I don’t know you, and this is crazy…but your boyfriend’s hot, and your parking’s lazy.

extra credit: the 10 creepiest vans [jalopnik.com]

Our submitter in Boston says she found this note on the kitchen counter “after my evil roommate abused some Adderall and stayed up cleaning, organizing, and generally banging around till an obscene hour.”

Adds our submitter: “I can’t wait until the day when I live alone.”

related: The patron(izing) saint of roommates

Jessica in Portland, Oregon was on her way home when she saw this note taped to her neighbors’ door. “I’m best friends with the guys this was addressed to,” she says, “and they actually are very loud when they get down to business. It doesn’t usually bother me because I work night shifts, but obviously it is wearing down the woman downstairs.”

(The “happy ending”: Jessica says her friends sent a note back saying they would try to be more considerate.)

related: WE CAN SEE YOU

Writes Chelsa in Canada: “My first night moving in, I couldn’t find the bolts to put my bed frame back together, so I had to unpack some boxes and it was about 10 p.m. before I found them and could set up my bed. Moving sucks, right? Apparently at 10 p.m. on Saturday night, screwing in 8 bolts is THE WORST thing a person can do. This note was on my door in the morning.”

related: The Neighborhood Warning Wagon

Ryan’s friend M is “…very direct, let’s say.” So when her property management company sent Facebook friend requests to her and her housemates — after ignoring countless communications about various maintenance issues — Ryan knew the results would be “interesting, let’s say.”

related: Well, that’s one way to get your landlord’s attention

In Manhattan, a shortage of pumpkin spice lattes triggered mayhem overshadowed only by an actual disaster.

In Minnesota, however, it seems that some folks still haven’t heard the news that “Pumpkin is the New Bacon.”At our submitter’s office in Minneapolis, a proffered can of pumpkin spice tea sparked a Midwestern snark-off, complete with smilies.

related: Grow an orange tree and grow up

extra credit: The Inescapable Pumpkin Spice Trend [thekitchn.com]

Writes Catherine in Melbourne: “I was preparing breakfast in the office kitchen when I opened the fridge and reached for the margarine tub to butter my toast. Ten seconds later, I was fearing for my life.”

related: I Can’t Believe It’s Not (My) Butter

extra credit: Australians Losing Their Taste for Vegemite [time.com]

Writes our submitter in Houston: “The secretary on our floor is never at her desk — so much, in fact, that she’s been reported numerous times. We recently got a new office copier and somehow she decided that she has ownership of it. Based on the note below, it looks like someone needed help and was a little frustrated that, once again, she couldn’t be located.” Aaaand troll mode activated!

Adds our submitter: “The secretary EXPLODED when she saw that someone had the nerve to touch her machine.”

related: My Secretary, Sybil

Welcome to the neighbourhood! xo, Carly Rae Jepsen

related post:

Or I’ll call the cops, maybe?