Writes our submitter in Cambridge, UK: “There’s a master’s student living in our shared student house — the kind who lives off hemp protein and lentils. Anyway, the house has an hallway running through the middle, with his room on one side and a landing on the other. This note appeared on the landing the other day. I think it has the perfect combination of smiley faces, violent threats, love and climate change.”

related: Pure, unadulterated corporate greed! 

Note: the following message has explicitly NOT been approved by Jack Donaghy. (Do not be fooled by that GE logo at the bottom of the page.)

Remarkably enough, our submitter, Dan in Milwaukee, says the following message was NOT penned by a satirical television writer, but rather by an anonymous member of the office Green Police. (The two pennies — payment for 2011′s extra energy usage — were then added later by an anonymous member of the office Bullshit Police.)

This is, of course, simply a new strategy in the ongoing war being waged in kitchenettes across the world by the United League of Office Workers Who Have Nothing Better to Complain About.

related: Some of have OCD and unused microwave time drives us crazy

After Adam’s car got broken into while parked in his own driveway, he decided to install a motion-activated security light. Several months later, he received this note in the mail — stamped and all — from one of his (kinda totally creepy) Connecticut neighbors. Adam, perhaps it’s time to take the home security system up a notch?

related: Stupid is as stuiped does

For your typographical titillation: a Friday quickie from Liz in Portland…

related: You turned me on and left me.

I’d nominate all three of these for inclusion in the encyclopedia entry for “petty office debates.”

Exhibit a) From  San Francisco:

Exhibit b) From Jeron in Dallas:

Exhibit c) From Monterey, California:

related: Completely valid rebuttals

When Sarah saw this notice posted in the restroom of a Chicago movie theater, she says, “I was thrilled to find a company willing to admit what I have always secretly felt: that despite their tree-saving abilities, electric hand dryers suck.”

Scott was also thrilled to spot this sign in the men’s room of a bar in Council Bluffs, Iowa. “It’s mainly the incredibly bad spelling and punctuation that I love about it,” he says. (The less-than-incredible attempt to drum up excitement for those “fast and new hand blowers”?  Not so much.)

related: And a very happy Earth Day to you!

extra credit: Air Hand Dryers May Leave Bacteria on Hands, Says Study [greendaily.com]

Caroline sends this delightful trio of holier-than-thou notes from “a rather famous university in Scotland where many students and staff have delusions of grandeur.”

The first  note was spotted, Caroline says, while exiting a building “where many people work late and lights are almost always burning to help us find our way through the maze of corridors. I found these stuck to just about every light switch in the vicinity. Luckily, I snapped a picture as the next day they were all crumpled into balls and thrown on the floor in what i assume was a protest against sexualising light switches.”

(“Next time,” she adds, “I will make sure my light switch is fully satisfied before I leave.”)

The second note, Caroline says, “is posted in a building where, due to the age of the pipes, the water is filled with lead and unsafe to drink, meaning water coolers are conveniently posted on most floors. I know we are a biology building and we have to care about the environment and blah blah blah, but while we are doing our world-saving research, would it be ok if we just had a cup of water that isn’t going to kill us?” [Ed. note: Yes, the note-writer has a point.]

The final note is posted next to the door leading to one of the outside smoking areas. “Unfortunately,” Caroline says, “it tends to have the opposite effect than intended. Every time I see it, I find myself having to sneak one in.”

Moral of the story this website: even if you’re on the most solid moral/ethical/logical/legal ground, writing an snotty note about it will backfire on you more often than not. [insert maniacal emoticon]

related: Al Gore knows you know drove when you could have taken your new bicycle

Rachel in Victoria, B.C. found this somewhat puzzling bit of anthropomorphism (stairs have feelings? really?) posted in the elevator of her building. “My favourite part is ‘your bum will love it,’” Rachel says. “No better way to guilt trip people into ‘saving energy’ than by insinuating that they’re fat!”

related: Hey, fatty

Technically, Mike in Boston only has two roommates, but roomie #2′s ever-present girlfriend has become the apartment’s de facto fourth resident…the non-rent-or-utilities-paying kind.

Explains Mike: “We only have one thermostat for the whole apartment, but our rooms are so tiny that we can typically keep the heat off and the place stays at 68-70 degrees.” Once winter came, however, the girlfriend wasn’t too pleased with this arrangement…and took to surreptitiously cranking up the heat into the mid-80s.

After one too many nights of waking up in a sauna, Mike and his allied roommate decided to fight back —in true passive-aggressive style — by removing the (detachable) thermostat from the wall. Drama, of course, ensued.

Mike’s roomie then posted a counter-attack:

Grammar aside, that one pretty much did the trick.

related: kill hamster too?

Casey in Human Resources may have moved on, but not to worry — Thx Sandra is here to solve our global climate crysis!

related: It takes a “genius”