My first thought after reading this note: “Hmm, I’m not sure what being a “wannabe hipster” has to do with not picking up your mail.”

Then I read our submitter’s (unapologetic) explanation: “My neighbor left this taped to the mailbox in the lobby due to my tendency to leave coupons that are mailed to me on a small table under our mailboxes.”  The connection: Both can be really fucking obnoxious!

sbiancamento denti Be responsible and throw your junk mail away…in your own trash can. Do you realize that someone has to clean up after you, each and every time you decide to be lazy? Be a responsible adult and clean up after yourself. If you’d like to talk about this more, I’m in apt 3, and I’d love to have a ‘sit down’ with you. Please stop being inconsiderate and pick up ALL your mail. Thank you. Zach, Apt. 3″ href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/passiveaggressive/18874124865″ target=”_blank”>

related: This is why people hate millennials.

Out submitter in Chicago notes that, remarkably enough, within a day or so of this note being posted (or rather, secured with packing tape to the floor), the oh-so-pretty doormat magically reappeared!

(I’d like to imagine that this was the stolen doormat in question.)

related: Wrath mat

extra credit: How to keep a doormat from being stolen [metafilter.com]

Suzanne’s office in Chicago is filled with lots of so-called “creatives” — you know, the types who are too busy working on BIG IDEAS to deal with the banalities of, say, dirty dishes. Finally, someone decided it would take a real heavyweight to draw some attention to the problem.

related: Right/wrong justified

Sue in Northbrook, Illinois says that some 10 months after tricking her 6-year-old daughter with Jimmy Kimmel’s “I told my kids I ate all their Halloween candy” challenge, little Mia remembered the prank and, with a renewed sense of outrage, stormed off to express her anger in note form.

Mia’s mom notes that she’s normally referred to as “Mommy” by her daughter (and by her friends as “Sue”), so she knew she was in trouble when she saw this missive addressed to “Susan.”

related: The Parent Tax

Our submitter in Chicago found these notes were in her son’s 8th grade autograph book. “Only a few other students are going to the same high school that my son will be attending,” she writes. “These two girls are part of that group and seem eager to get on to the next year of flame-throwing. I thought the heart was a nice, passive-aggressive touch.”

Adds our submitter: “The weird thing is that these girls both appear to be so nice and docile in person.”

related: So much for “Have a nice summer, see you next  year”

Our submitter in Chicago says that there a used to be a trash can near the front door of her apartment building, but because it was always overwhelming with doggie poop bags and other smelly trash, she wasn’t sad to see it go. Apparently, some of her neighbors are still in denial.

related: I don’t want to touch the bathroom door handle, so I’m just going to toss my paper towel on the floor

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

related: Dear mother of hair baby

Those must be some darn big pockets you’ve got there, Elwood.

(Thanks to Jessi in Illinois for submitting!)

related: A Roadside Intervention

extra credit: “Men accused of stealing $65,000 in chicken wings” [cbsatlanta.com]

Earlier this week, on her usual walk to work across the UChicago campus, Lauren noticed a board topped by a cement block covering an open manhole. Then other day, however, she walked past the same spot to find this ingenious work of civic protest/prankery.

Adds Lauren: “I’m most impressed by the obvious work involved in the sign’s construction, but bonus points are due for capturing the speaking style of our salty mayor.” (And yes, Lauren says: Chicago’s city seal really does include the image of a baby floating on a cloud.)

related: Governor of California to State Senate: “Get Stuffed.”

Our submitter in Peoria, Illinois says one of the sales reps at his office is known for posting crazy notes like this all over the office. “He might have some anger management issues,” our submitter adds.

related: If there were ever a time to hold your red pen…