Abby spotted this dubious bit of dietary advice at her local supermarket in Catonsville, Maryland.

Adds Abby: “Maybe whoever wrote this should spend all the free time they have (obviously a lot) researching the nutritional value of eggs (protein) vs. fruit (carbs).”

related: The anti-milk militia

Danielle in Baltimore says copies of this notice were posted on electrical poles, fences, and doors all around her apartment complex.

related: I’m a cat. It’s okay for me to be outside. (OR IS IT?!)

Today on Passive-Aggressive Poetry Corner: A note our submitter from Maryland found slid under the door of her top-floor apartment.

related: Ever wonder what it would be like sharing an office with William Carlos Williams?

Carolyn and her husband were intrigued by this message on a car they spotted at a roadside farmer’s market in Maryland. “We desperately wanted to know who the driver was and who wrote it,” Carolyn says. “Unfortunately, we never got to see either before we left.”

So, what do you imagine the story is here?

related: What does your car say about you?

Stephen in Maryland build this contraption after his sixth or seventh soda was stolen out of the office fridge. “My boss told me there was nothing I or he could do about it,” Stephen says, but he thought he’d give it a shot anyway. “I went a little overboard,” he admits, “But so far, no one’s been able to defeat the system.”

related: Creative approaches to food thievery

Explains our submitter in Maryland: “Housemate is pregnant. She doesn’t like it when we leave the AC on.” (Ya think?)

related: The womb that would birth a thousand excuses

Nicole in Baltimore says her roommate returned home from work and found this note taped to the front door. Later, they discovered a copy of the same had also been taped to the doors of everyone on the entire street. (Kindling for the torch-and-pitchfork-wielding mob?)

Meanwhile, a submitter from nearby Silver Spring, Maryland snapped this photo during rush-hour traffic.

related: Buy one divorce, get the second one half off!

I’ve spent most of the day curled up reading John Irving’s latest, In One Person (“a compelling novel of desire, secrecy, and sexual identity.”) And yet, since stumbling across this novella — from an office fridge in Maryland — I’ve had but one phrase echoing in my head: “We are not so unalike, [you and I]. I, too, have a deep love of salad.”

related: “Someday when you’re wondering why you’re alone…”

Spotted by Matt in Baltimore, Maryland…

related: Your parking job brings one word to mind

An anonymous submitter discovered this lengthy explanation on the door of a head shop in Waldorf, Maryland.

Not surprisingly, it appears the head shop’s owners take a fairly relaxed attitude toward keeping their store open, and instead put heavy emphasis on maintaining a flexible work-life balance.

related: Before you ask…