Amy in Ohio found this delightful diatribe while browsing through area garage sale listings on Craigslist. “Fortunately I snapped a screenshot, because this gem was soon flagged for removal,” she says. “My favorite part: ‘…nothing but ignorance!’”

related: Some advice on holding a garage sale

Heidi says what started off as a simple request turned into a whiteboard snark-off at the natural foods store where she works in (where else?) Portland.

[FIXED]

related: Your punishment for forgetting your reusable bags

extra credit: Day in the Life of a Passive-Aggressive Vegan Grocery Store Clerk [mcsweeneys.net]

Explains our submitter in North Carolina: ”My friend walked out to the parking lot to find a big dent and a sticky note on her car, which still had some writing on it from her recent birthday.” And while the driver didn’t just dent-and-dash, the fact that he or she didn’t bother to leave a name/plate/policy number — just an entirely unnecessary postscript — made the whole situation a less-than-satisfying belated birthday surprise.

related: I dinged your car, but you kind of deserved it.

During Diana’s lunch break one day, a concerned coworker apparently decided to seize the opportunity to let her know — anonymously, of course — that the state of her cubicle was too much too handle. Even more obnoxiously, Diana says, “He or she actually just opened up Word and typed this note on my computer.”

To top it all off, Diana insists her workstation was hardly a disaster area to begin with. “The only things on my desk at the time were my computer, a few pieces of paper, and a coffee mug.”

related: Can you please walk quieter?

“When I moved in a year ago, my roommate was an ovo-lacto vegetarian, whereas I was (and still am) an omnivore,” explains our submitter in Brooklyn. “She used to not care about my eating habits, but about four months ago she decided to become a full-blown vegan and has been insufferable since then. Yesterday I went food shopping for myself, and when I came back from work today I found this letter on my bedside table.”

(Yeah, the writing is a little hard to read — just wait for the page to load completely, and then click the images below to enlarge.)

related: Carnivore? Keep being awesome!

If the writer of this public service announcement had Angela‘s gall, she would have printed up flyers and handed them out to offenders in person. Instead, she (and yes, I’m making the outrageous assumption here that it’s a she) just posted it in the elevator of her Columbia University dorm…without spell-checking her work first. People, seriously?

Unless, of course, this was all part of a larger prank pairing the phone number of some unsuspecting victim with this oh-so-compelling pitch (“learn how this will improve your LIFE + GRADES”) and placing it within easy firing range of drunk college students. Then, well…then you’d be an even bigger arsehole.

related: A little advice for the ladies

“My grandmother has been telling my brother that his hair is too long for forever now,” our submitter in Texas writes, “and whenever she criticized his long hair, he’d tell her it was ‘in style.’”  Hello, loophole! Today Grandma left this clipping on the fridge for her grandson to find.

(By the way, if you’ve managed to avoid contact with the tween set lately and had no idea that this Justin Bieber character is supposedly “the world’s biggest pop star” — you’re not alone.)

And Grandma, if Seth doesn’t take the hint, maybe you’ll have to try Star Magazine‘s trick?

related: The overly-friendly coworker: ruining your day since you held the door for her that one time

extra credit: Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber

The Justin Bieber Guide for Old People [gawker.com]

Justin Bieber’s “hair trick” [youtube]

Who needs a “Powertrain warranty”? According to this Connecticut notewriter, if you buy a Ford, you get a lifetime worth of diplomat-worthy parking privileges!

Confession: I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 27. I am a terrible parker. (I am slow, but I try.) If only I had bought a Ford!

related: The Mini Cooper owner’s dilemma — “Save the earth, kill the kids?!”

extra credit: “Chevy” [urbandictionary.com]

Just one more special Easter note for you, kids. (Then I’m off to the drugstore to see if I can score any half-price Cadbury Mini Eggs.)

This one comes from Ray in Mount Vernon, Ohio, who said it was left on his wife’s windshield a while back, in response to a bumper sticker on her car that reads “What Would Buddha Do?”

Alrighty then. Back to your pagan traditions!

related: but He took the wheel

“I have no traces of child paraphernalia in my Mini Cooper,” says our submitter from Alexandria, Virginia — and she didn’t buy her car for environmental reasons. (“I bought it because I’m a Mini fan,” she says, “regardless of the global impact.”) So, as you might imagine, she was more than a bit puzzled to find this note under her wiper blade.

related: Herbie Goes to Washington