Previously, our submitter says, bowls of candy sat in an area of the office most commonly populated by waiting customer and potential hires.

“Now, instead of candy, most of them get to see this note. It provides them with things to think about as they wait, such as: How many Jolly Ranchers, Starlight Mints, and other candies which are neither chocolate nor caramel may one take from each bowl?”

recently: More office candy bowl drama

“There’s a shelf in our office, where, every couple of days someone will contribute some sort of sugary/fatty treat,” writes Laura in Seattle. Luckily, one of her coworkers stepped up to enlighten everyone about the death trap they’ve created.”

related: Cupcakes are a gateway drug!

Writes our submitter in Washington state: “Shortly after our holiday party signup sheet was posted, this gentle reminder appeared, taped over the word ‘potluck.’ So far, no one has been brave enough to sign up for anything.”

(Because, you know, the best kind of potluck is six bags of chips, three plates of cookies, a one liter bottle of soda, and some plastic forks.)

related: THE POTLUCK THEME IS MONGOLIA[N] BBQ!!!!!

extra credit: Potluck fear and loathing [latimes.com]

Our submitter in Peoria, Illinois says one of the sales reps at his office is known for posting crazy notes like this all over the office. “He might have some anger management issues,” our submitter adds.

related: If there were ever a time to hold your red pen…

Explains our submitter in Chicago: “Colleague A left the following note — an attempt to enforce an ambigious personal space decoration policy via shame — on Colleague B’s Eiffel Tower clip. (Note: Colleague A has no official authority over Colleague B.) I find the phrasing both poetic and hilarious.”

related: Do not lean on my pod!!!

“On its face, this note details a bunch of common-sense rhetoric about being a good employee,” our submitter says. “What’s hilarious and sad is how our ‘Service Ambassador’ thinks that a thinly-veiled threat like this is supposed to inspire fervent company loyalty and ‘outstanding service.’ Come prepared to kiss ass or we’ll kick yours?”

related: Motivational posters for a down economy

Writes an office worker in Alabama: “A co-worker attends a weekly cooking class in town, and this week they made a Cinnamon Roll Casserole. The co-worker decided to bring it in to work and share it with the office.” The nerve of some people!

related: Loose lips shrink hips

During Diana’s lunch break one day, a concerned coworker apparently decided to seize the opportunity to let her know — anonymously, of course — that the state of her cubicle was too much too handle. Even more obnoxiously, Diana says, “He or she actually just opened up Word and typed this note on my computer.”

To top it all off, Diana insists her workstation was hardly a disaster area to begin with. “The only things on my desk at the time were my computer, a few pieces of paper, and a coffee mug.”

related: Can you please walk quieter?

Relentless exposure to awful puns hasn’t yet been explicitly singled out as a form of torture, but employees at this office in Australia might be able to make the case that it qualifies as “extreme mental distress.”

Apparently the strategy here was that for every day the kitchen’s cutlery situation went unresolved, up went another note — with progressively groan-worthy puns each time. (It took until “Spatchalator” for someone to cry uncle.)

related: This vending machine doesn’t work…it just sits around collecting unemployment.

Like the angry woman/women who wrote this note, Katie in Lexington, Kentucky works on the third floor of her building — but she’s never noticed any problems with the custodian’s work.

“Sure, sometimes a stall runs out of toilet paper, but within a couple of hours, he has refilled them,” she says. And besides: “I, for one, would prefer that Mario doesn’t hang out all afternoon in the women’s bathroom.” So, notewriter…maybe it’s time to take your massive craps elsewhere, hmm?

related: Who cleans your bathrooms? “A strange black lady with a knife.”

extra credit: Luigi finally snaps [CollegeHumor.com]