Kyle didn’t even want to open the card he got from his grandma for his 20th birthday, because he knew he was in for something more than $5 bill. “The week prior was my family reunion, and my dad decided not to go — and not to inform my grandma ahead of time,” Kyle says. Grandma decided to use Kyle’s birthday card to make her feelings about this clear.

related: Thanks, Grandma. Really.

Jaime and her husband live in a different state from her in-laws, but she’s not giving him a free pass. “To be honest, he really doesn’t call them as often as he should,” she says.

related: Better late than never?

Although John in Oklahoma City is used to the office bathroom being papered with commentary from his coworkers, he found the imagery of this note to be…especially vivid.

related: A diarrhea only toilet?

William in Sydney spotted this note on the notice board of an apartment block he was visiting. If you’re going to tackle a DIY project, I reckon that Saturday morning is as good a time as any, no?

Confidential to the notewriter: As someone who also a) lives in an apartment complex and b) works the night shift at a hospital, I’m surprised you haven’t figured out by now that the world doesn’t revolve around you and your schedule. The graveyard shift is already taking years off your life. How about you do everyone a favor and use some of that sweet shift differential to buy yourself a pair of earplugs?

related: Hello, 911? My neighbors are loud walkers!

“Kitchen warfare has become somewhat of a spectator sport around here,” says our submitter, of his office in Vancouver. Perhaps a Vegan Support Group is in order?

related: Texts from Obnoxious Vegan Girl

Jake in Vermont says that the sign of the left showed up after the sign on the right failed to get the job done. (And you thought you’d never put that high school chemistry to use!)

related: Right, I still don’t understand this water/ice thing

extra credit: Mr. Wizard = kind of a jerk [youtube]

Rebecca in London spotted this notice in her boyfriend’s block of flats. “While it’s true you do notice washing machines running, they’re not that loud,” she says. “On the night of the note being ‘edited’, there was defiant laundry running at 11:30pm.”

related: Lord of the Laundry Room

Writes our submitter in Texas: “We live on a military installation, where the housing is notoriously small and right on top of each other. We’ve gotten to know our neighbors very well, and the author of this note is most likely someone we consider a good friend.”

Our submitter humble-brags that yes, his wife is incredibly attractive, but insists that her clothing isn’t overtly “sexy” — tank tops and shorts, yes, but not crop tops and hot pants.  However, he says, “Since we discovered this on Friday, my wife has taken to wearing baggy t-shirts and sweatpants when she’s out in the yard. I don’t blame her one bit.”

Amping up the creepiness factor, our submitter adds that his wife DOES own a pair of pink shoes – but she’s never worn them outside the house.

related: (Don’t fear) the creeper

Our submitter in Chicago found these notes were in her son’s 8th grade autograph book. “Only a few other students are going to the same high school that my son will be attending,” she writes. “These two girls are part of that group and seem eager to get on to the next year of flame-throwing. I thought the heart was a nice, passive-aggressive touch.”

Adds our submitter: “The weird thing is that these girls both appear to be so nice and docile in person.”

related: So much for “Have a nice summer, see you next  year”

One of Allison’s coworkers recently became convinced that one of the evening janitors had it in for her shoes — different shoes. On multiple occasions. “Needless to say,” Allison says, “she didn’t last much longer.”

Meanwhile, Kris in Alabama spotted this note on a locker at his place of business:

related: Or I will CUT YOU