Emily in Pennsylvania recently received this New Year’s Card — only a few weeks late, and oh-so-charmingly decorated by the person who mistakenly received it in the first time.

“So seldom that a letter, among the thousands that are constantly passing about the kingdom, and not one in a million, I suppose, actually lost!”

—Jane Austen, Emma

related: This is why your postal worker is disgruntled.

extra credit: In defense of the post office [usnews.com]

“I love that Gma knocked a few stars off her Amazon review due to not getting an acknowledgment from her granddaughter,” says Lisa in Seattle. (See, kids? You don’t write a thank you note, and EVERYBODY SUFFERS.)

related: Nobody guilt trips like a Grandma

This. Is. Amazing.

Says our submitter: “I don’t think this lady will be invited back to her stepson’s house anytime soon.”

related: Day in the Life of a Crank

It’s time, once again, for our look back at the year in notes. Which notewriter deserves the coveted title of douchecanoe of the year? Cast your vote in the comments!

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Our submitter in Townsville, Australia says that Christmas decorating season is in full swing.Unfortunately, all those strings of lights have set off a string of front-yard vandalism as well. And in Townsville, people take their Christmas lights seriously. 

In the spirit of the season, one disgruntled resident has added this sign to his decor. “I’m not sure how the choice profanity will go down with hundreds of cars full of children passing by every night,” she writes.  (Please note that our submitter has pre-censored the profanity from the photo, in deference to our readers’ delicate sensibilities.)

Meanwhile, in Michigan, I think this local news headline says it all:
Beheaded Mickey Mouse Christmas decoration leaves Davison resident upset, children scared

Well, in any case, it says considerably more than the accompanying photo of this terrifying scene:

My favorite quote from the article:

“She was able to sew Mickey back together and use some Gorilla tape to patch up the gingerbread man, but some of her children’s innocence has been lost.”

related: Decor-nappings of Christmases past

extra credit: “Queenslander risks death for killer Christmas light display”  [abc news brisbane]

Alice in Fresno says that since this sign went up, she’s made a point of greeting the copier every time she passes it. The coworker who wrote it was apparently tired of hearing people cursing out the (stupid!) machine when it screws up (all the damn time!).

related: The printer doesn’t appreciate your tone.

A reader in Canberra, Australia passed along this article about an English granny up in arms about her right to display a knitted toy gorilla in her window.

Says the article:

Anne Feast, 70, knitted ‘Cilla the Gorilla’ last year and the toy has been hanging in the window at her home in Bell Holt, Ely, alongside numerous other characters she has created, ever since.

But mother and grandmother-of-two Anne, who has lived in her home with her husband, Philip, 71, for around 14 years, was asked by police to remove the gorilla after it was reported by a passer-by.

The couple don’t know exactly why Cilla caused offence, but they suspect it is either because someone thought it was racist or the way that the ape hangs down.

Yes…the way the ape hangs down. Oh, and here’s a transcription of that note:

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN Are you the person that made a complaint to the police about the knitted toy gorilla in our window Well why did you not knock on our door and tell us face to face what your concerns were about this toy. These toys usually bring a smile to most people’s faces especially kiddies. I am so looking forwards to seeing your face but it’s not going to happen IS IT?????

Adds our submitter: “I love the fact that on top of the note she makes sure the message reaches its target by calling the local newspaper for coverage.”

related: A day in the life of a crank

extra credit: The meme that wasn’t!

Our submitter says she spotted this request during a walk around her neighborhood in Oakland, California.

related: How not to solve your stray cat problem

Laura in Victoria noticed this unofficially annotated official notice while studying late one night at the UVic Campus. Says Laura: “Given that it’s posted in a building crammed with tired university students, the original notewriter probably have been able to predict what would happen next.”

And what happened next was…BUTTS.

related: This is not a bulletin board.

Writes Joanna in Pennsylvania: “Following (apparently) more than one incident in which a customer relieved themselves in the stand-up tanning booths in my town, this signage was posted in every tanning booth. Because, ya know, people need to be reminded to not just randomly crap themselves every time they get naked.”

Adds Joanna: ” Yes, I asked an employee and the incidents in question involved #2!” If it makes you feel any better, Joanna, it turns out your problem is far from unique to south central PA.

related: On preparing a hide for tanning