September 21st, 2014 · 92 comments
Sue in Northbrook, Illinois says that some 10 months after tricking her 6-year-old daughter with Jimmy Kimmel’s “I told my kids I ate all their Halloween candy” challenge, little Mia remembered the prank and, with a renewed sense of outrage, stormed off to express her anger in note form.
Mia’s mom notes that she’s normally referred to as “Mommy” by her daughter (and by her friends as “Sue”), so she knew she was in trouble when she saw this missive addressed to “Susan.”
![Cupcakes are sweet like Mia. The ground is dirty like Susan. Why did you play the jolk [sic]](https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5571/15244513426_09cee6cbff_z.jpg)
related: The Parent Tax
FILED UNDER: candy · Chicago · Halloween · kids · Mother-daughter notes
September 18th, 2014 · 43 comments
Emma in Canada spotted this very un-Canadian note today in her neighborhood.
![Some asshole ate my ripe tomato - so now I have to eat my tomatoes not ripe to keep the their [sic] from enjoying months of watering + work. Don't steal any more JERK](https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3874/15280235725_a887b9e442_z.jpg)
Meanwhile, Christa in North Carolina apparently takes her ripe tomatoes quite seriously, too.

related: Attack of the tomato killers!
FILED UNDER: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · stealing · xoxo
September 15th, 2014 · 26 comments
Glen found this magnificent notice attached to a lamppost on 4th & Jackson in San Jose.

related: I hope you step on a Lego!
FILED UNDER: bicycle · God · San Jose · spelling and grammar police
September 11th, 2014 · 41 comments
Zee spotted this warning in the basement parking garage of her small senior citizens‘ building in Indiana, where, she says, “a few of the residents prefer posting anonymous notes to dealing with their issues directly.”

…and other residents, not so much.

related: That means you, young man in the blue Subaru!!
FILED UNDER: driving · Indiana · old folks · rebuttals · you know who you are
Abby spotted this dubious bit of dietary advice at her local supermarket in Catonsville, Maryland.

Adds Abby: “Maybe whoever wrote this should spend all the free time they have (obviously a lot) researching the nutritional value of eggs (protein) vs. fruit (carbs).”
related: The anti-milk militia
FILED UNDER: food · Maryland · unsolicited feedback
Scott in Cincinnati says this is merely the latest notice he’s seen posted at his father-in-law’s cab company.

related: I’m detecting a foul odor coming from your general direction.
FILED UNDER: Cincinnati · hygiene · odor
By day: bears. By night: bird & bees. Gee, you’re right, Glacier National Park does sound like a pretty educational experience. (You’re welcome, notewriter!)

related: Cross-country elevator action
FILED UNDER: hotels · kids · noise · sex sex sex
So…what is it about the Minnesota suburbs that makes the idea of killing someone’s pet the height of hilarity?


At least in Seattle they try to be a bit poetic about it.

(Thanks to Scott, Karen, and Sarah for submitting!)
related: You forgot something!
FILED UNDER: dogs · neighbors · shit
Cheeky, eh?

related: Don’t be an ash-hole
FILED UNDER: Australia · smoking
Up next, on Bananas with Low Self-Esteem…
And on the inside…

Seriously, what are you waiting for?
(Thanks to Josh in Vancouver and John in NYC for submitting!)
related: Yes, we have no inflatable bananas
FILED UNDER: bananas · office